Monday, March 23, 2015
Telling the truth
I spent a lot of the day NOT watching television. I have a problem and I know that I have a problem. I am scared for another thoughts. I think that I will be okay. I need a change of plans. I need to live in the real world. I have been living in a fantasy world for years. I am a near middle aged woman. I need to live and grow. I need to progress. My reality is a bit messed up. Fiction has become my reality and that is a messed thing to deal with. Sometimes it is like there is a blurring between reality and fiction. That in itself is scary. Sometimes it is as if I am going crazy. I know I am not crazy. Maybe I am just overwhelmed and that I need to relax. I guess being a type A personality, it is hard to do so. I need to relax and meditate and to cling to the Lord. I have learned to delight in the Lord. I have also learned to rely and wait on Him for all things. Maybe fear is what is holding me back and it is keeping me from overcoming those thoughts. I thank God for lifting my burdens and I ask God to do so. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I allow this to happen?