Friday, March 13, 2015
I hate that I have made avoidance a part of my life. A TV show or a movie makes me fearful. I have this fear of another trigger. The irony is I am getting better and do "research" on what makes me afraid. There are things that I don't wish to see. It is weird. Even I admit that it gets strange. I did some 'research' on divorce stories this morning involving celebrities. Some celebrity divorces are amicable, while others are not so amicable. I hate that kids are involved and seemingly treated like pawns instead of the human beings that they are. I only have opinions on this, but divorce unless in the cases of adultery and abuse, seem rather selfish. I have thoughts about why couples can't make it.Why can't they work it out? How come love hurts and seems complicated? I am not currently in a relationship, so I realize that I need to get it together. I hope that I can get it all together before I am in a relationship. I would like to have real friends and a person to love back. I guess it is because I am self-conscious. The whole thing about heterosexual relationships is that they are interesting. Why don't I find the same way about homosexual and bisexual relationships? I realize that I am the one with the problem. Maybe I have to learn to not avoid, but how do I do that?