Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Dealing with anxiety and revelation about what has been going on for years..

These obsessive thoughts are a product of my mind.  Hopefully that is the case.  I have lately been watching the show that I tried to avoid.  Now for a while I found myself anxious.  Lately I have now discussed in as much detail as possible to my mom that finally for the past eight years or so, I have been having obsessive thoughts about infidelity committed by wives.  My goal is to not feed the obsessions.  The truth is, exposing myself by watching the show did more to expose my thoughts than anything.  On the other hand, it exposed my fears and they have lessened.  On the other hand, it became less of a dilemma than I thought it was going to be.  Now for the first time in a while I felt free.  On the other hand, I was so anxious I felt like I was going to lose it.  But talking it out and finally letting it out has improved things and that is what is important.  I will not write or explain anything else in detail for that might make these thoughts of greater importance than they should be. I want my life to count for something.  I want to do something else and think on something else.  The Word of God says to be holy, for God is holy.  I want to be holy, think holy, and live something.  I feel that I haven't always done that and that is sad.

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