Sunday, July 27, 2014

How I am really feeling

I have come to realize that my obsessions have not destroyed my life, but somehow saved it.  They brought me closer to God.  I have been living a safe life because of these obsessions and as a result, my world has gotten smaller.  I am drawn to television shows.  I have no longer become a fan of television shows.  The characters lie, cheat, and commit other sins and they seem to be rewarded for them.

I am of the view that those who lie, cheat, and commit other sins should not be awarded for them.  They should be dealt with, but in a godly way.  A godly way is with love and godly judgement.  I am of the view that adultery is a sin and that adulterers are sinners just like every one else.  I believe that adulterers are not evil and not good.  In fact, no one is good and one doesn't have to be moral to be evil.  We are all adulterers though most are moral, good people.  But our views of morality are different from that of God.

I have to keep in mind that whenever a thought comes that like the characters that are fictional, the thoughts are creations.  They are the creations of a writing team and they are played by real people.  What scares me is that the situations are real like the real life and that there are people who do cheat.  That is something I cannot let go of.  There was a time when I almost did.  I realize that most people who cheat are not the worst of the worst but they are like all else, cheaters.

It is time that we all sinners take the motes out of our eyes and not pass ungodly judgement on those who are adulterers.  Jesus told the adulteress in John 8 to "go and sin no more".  Though some who sin will continue to sin, but that won't have to be me.  I choose to either be unfaithful to God with the world or remain faithful to the Lord and be at rest.  I don't look at adulterers as those who deserve no forgiveness and nothing but harm.  Infidelity does not make one good but forgiveness covers all sins.  Adulterers can be forgiven.

I have been realizing that life is too short to worry about the sins of someone else as I was too a cheater.  I haven't physically cheated nor have I been cheated on, nor am I currently in a relationship.  I have never been kissed in fact.  I don't have a love life to be concerned about.  I don't know anyone for sure who has cheated on me or anyone I know.

I could reason things out but they do not work.  I am afraid that like others, I would not like or rather hate or be annoyed by the adulterous characters.  I am afraid of another thought being triggered.  I tried exposing myself, only to make things worse, much much worse.  I finally realize that I cannot live for the obsession, but I have to live for me, and for the Lord of course.  My plan is to put God as my top priority and all else I realize will fall in our place.

Life is too short to worry about anything.  I realized that today that life is a blessing.  Yesterday is the past. Sadly I don't remember much about my life and how I thought without the obsessions.  I have been obsessive compulsion most of my life.  I would like to expand my life and I cannot do that without putting God first and getting caught up on what is on television.  I have other goals in mind.  I have other things to do.  I believe that God has a plan for me.  I felt for years that life has passed me by.  I would like to be wrong.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Daily Schedule 5/14/14

Daily 5/14/14

1. Get up                                        
2. Meditate                                     
3. Pray
4. Watch tv
5. Breakfast
   * Nature Valley Bar
   * Fruit
   * Coffee
   * Water
7. Test Blood Sugar
8.Pray and listen to music
9.Browse online
      * lettuce
      * tomato
      * ranch-bacon pasta salad
      * water
11 Medication
12 Listen to the Radio and positive thinking
13 Nap
14 Watch TV and listen to music
15 Snack
     * corn flakes
17 Watch TV
16 Snack
    * hash browns
    * sausage patty
18 Watch  TV
19 Blogs and Browsing
20 Evening
     * lettuce
      * tomato
      * ranch-bacon pasta salad
      * water
21 Medication
22 Test Blood Sugar
23 Blogs and Browsing
24 Snack
     * Wheat toast
     * Jelly
25 Exercise
26 Pray and read the bible
27 Meditation and Affirmation
28 Pray
28 Go To bed

Daily Schedule 5/13/14

1. Wake up in the morning.            4:30 AM
2. Get dressed                               4:30-5:00 AM
3. Clean up room and feeding cat   5:00-5:10 AM
4. Pray                                          5:10-5:30 AM
5. Use the computer                      5:30-6:00 AM
6. Finished get dressed                  6:00-6:30 AM
7. Wait and go to appt.                  6:30-8:15 AM
     * ham and cheese biscuit
     * water
8. Arrival to appt.                          8:10 AM
9. Appointment                              8:15-9:00 AM
10. Wait                                        9:00-10:30 AM
11. Go and arrive home                 10:30-11:05 AM
12. Change clothes                        11:05-11:15 AM
13. Go on computer                      11:15-11:30 AM
14. Lunch                                      11:30 AM-12:30 PM
      * lettuce
      * tomato
      * ranch-bacon pasta salad
      * water
15. Go on computer                       12:30-2:00 PM
16. Watch tv and listen to music      2:00-3:00 PM
17. Snack
        *peanut butter crackers             3:00-4:00 PM
18. TV                                            3:00-5:00 PM
19. Blogs and browse                      5:00-6:00 PM
20. Evening
     * lettuce
      * tomato
      * ranch-bacon pasta salad
      * water
21.  Pray and listen to music.            6:00-6:30 PM
22.  Browse and TV                        6:30-7:30 PM
23.  Prayer and scripture                  7:30-8:00 PM
24.  Exercise                                    8:00-8:30 PM
25.  Browse and TV                        9:00-9:50 PM
26. Get ready to go to bed               9:50-10:10 PM
27. Prayer and meditation                10:10- 10:20 PM
28. Affirmation and positive thought  10:20-10:30 PM
29. Go to bed...                                10:30 PM through the day

I have other thoughts...

I have other thoughts that I did not write down yesterday.  This morning I was to give a rating on which ones are most important.  In other words, the ones with the greatest importance are my belief in Jesus Christ, my weight, and how to deal with others.  I also have to write down three things I need to do to address the specific thoughts about those three areas in which the priority is highest.

1.  Celebrities
    I have crushes, yes, but I also have times when I tend to link up the celebrity to another person who is either a friend or relative.  I am afraid of the very fact that I tend to be obsessed with those who are a link to a celebrity, like CO.  I have had a crush on MR, who is CO's ex-husband.  Her book was published in 2011 yet I have no interest in reading it.  The only reason that I read up on it is because of the obsession that I had with MR.  I have learned to embrace it and overcame my issues with crushes and obsessions.  I fear that other people's views about CO or anyone will personally affect me to the point where I hate and despise that very celebrity.  The truth is, I may not agree or like what a celebrity does, but it is my life.  How do I keep it from bothering me?

2.  Sexual obsessions and compulsions
     I obsess about sex acts and even performing them.  These thoughts like the celebrity worship provide temporary relief from the usual boring day.  However, I have my own opinions of sex and sexuality.  I am sheltered so my views about sex are either strange, taboo, or even conservative.  I believe in a conservative view that sexual desire should be between a man and woman who are married to one another.  I am bothered by any sexual deviation yet I find myself drawn to it.  I watch sexually explicit material and read stories about them.  I realize that I need help.  I am not so sure what I am afraid of, but I believe that I am afraid of never being able to repent of my sexual issues.

3. What is sexy vs what is degrading
     What is going on in the world?  What is going on with me?  I find that much of what I see in the media disturbing not because of my gender, but because of my faith.  I also find the double standard just as wrong.  I am afraid that the opinions of others will influence how I am feeling.  I am afraid that I will never have a mind of my own and that I have a persona that matches those of the OCD.

4.  Male vs the Female Dynamic
     I am afraid that males and females would end up being in great enmity.  I fear that men and women hate one another not just because of the Bible and enmity, but because of other factors.  I have this fear that many women my age have irredeemable qualities.  I also fear that many men within my age group are the same.  I have little faith in humanity and I feel that some men are disrespectful towards women.  But some women are mean, manipulative, and not as smart as they claim.  I believe that revenge should not be served at all, whether online or what not.  It is so sad what is going on in the world.  I find it sick and it is sad that some people think hurting each other is okay.

5.  Identity
     I am afraid that I will never be my own person.  I have my likes and dislikes.  I do wonder if I am thinking the same way others think, feel, or do.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Obsessions, compulsions, and what I fear most

I do have obsessive thoughts about a lot of things, namely religion, race and racism, infidelity, my weight, budgeting, and other people, namely celebrities.  It is a lot to handle but by the grace of God, I can handle it. Having OCD can be stressful with all of the worrisome thoughts, compulsions, and sometimes physical, mental, and emotional changes.  I have had this condition most of my life and I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out in the present had I known that I had this condition.

It has made me question so much in my life.  Am I brave or strong?  Why?  How many?  What if?   However, maybe the most important question I can think of is what am I fear the most with these thoughts.  I will write down over the years what I have obsessions about and what I truly fear the most.

1. Being a believer in Christ
    As a result of my obsessive thoughts, I have prayed to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior many times. Despite all of that, I still have doubts about being saved.  My biggest fear is that because of my doubts and my thoughts about being saved or rather, lost, I will spend an eternity in Hell and have my part in the Lake of Fire.  I am concerned that I will be left behind never for Jesus Christ to return.  I will live in regret because I have failed to be ready because I didn't always live for and serve the Lord.

2. Race and racism
    I have obsessive thoughts about race and racism.  My biggest fear is that there is a lot of racism in that country, that people are racists against especially black people, and that it is hard for a black person to live in that country.  I ask others who live in that country those questions and any answers that match up to what I fear is bothersome to me and it makes me angry that some groups have it harder than others.  I wondered about that I too may have a racial bias and that I deep down have a racial fear or bias towards others.

3. Budgeting
    I tend to budget and over budget.  My goal is to save money but the problem is it never comes to fruition. I spend a lot of money on other things and I just have a hard time saving money, no matter how hard I try.  I obsessively create budgets that I never end up following.    My biggest fear is that I will never have enough because other more important needs will never be met because my balance will be negative.  I feel like I wonder if I could even buy important things on a budget and I go to websites to help me budget no matter how hard I try.

4. Being overweight.
    This is different from the rest.  I am overweight and I am a diabetic so I am not sure if there is something obsessive or compulsion about my weight issues.  On the other hand, some of my habits do follow an obsessive pattern and I do have a major fear or two.  I fear eating too much and actually gaining so much weight my health problems will worsen.  It doesn't seem to be a big fear but I have been heavy most of my life and now I am even heavier.  I am stressed out because even though I have lost weight, I gained nearly all of it back and now I am starting all over again.  I don't wish to weigh anymore than I have now and I feel like giving up even when I was in a weight loss plateau.  I failed to realize that a plateau is an indication that I am doing something right and that I need to change my routine a bit.  I also fear continuing to binge on food and drink.  In other words, I sometimes eat mindlessly and my eating is out of control.

5. How to deal with other people.
    Let's face it.  I don't how to deal with other people.  It is to the point where I am afraid of others and what they would or could do to me.  I even feel that way with those who are related to me even though nothing has happened.  I tend to walk on eggshells with most people, so I am not comfortable with being around most people.  It ties in with the thoughts about race and racism as I would like for racism to end and for others to like me and my race.  I fear that I will never be a strong person, that I am actually weak, stupid, and ineffectual.  My biggest fear is that will be hard to change or rather, never really change and that I will never overcome this issue because I am so weak and lack an identity of my own.

6. Infidelity.
    That is my biggest one.  I have strong opinions about infidelity and I am not so sure what it is that I am afraid of outside of the triggers that I have.  Anything can be a trigger such as a tv show, a movie, or a book. Even certain words, phrases, and pictures come to mind.  My thoughts involve women, namely wives having numerous affairs with numerous men because they care nothing about good husbands who love them because they have no respect for them.  The compulsion is for these wives to suffer and suffer greatly and that would give me relief.  I often have dreams about what ails me mentally.  It causes me distress especially if I am trying to sleep.  I believe that my greatest fears are divorce, hatred, murder, paternity issues, and hearing words or phrases, or seeing things that could trigger new thoughts.  I have often wondered in the past why I have these thoughts.  However, I have come to realize that it no longer matters.  I will never know which makes me uncertain which in turn makes me still wonder about things.  I don't like uncertainty.

7. Celebrity worship.
    I have crushes on celebrities.  I am ashamed of them and don't embrace them.  Deep down, I am sheltered and I wonder if that is why I have crushes on them, whether or not they are dead or alive.  There is an advantage to having a crush and that is it takes away from the unhappiness of having OCD and living in a a fantasy world.  Right now, I am crushing on a guy and I no longer hate the word crush.  Deep down in the recesses of my mind, the issue is that it was triggered because I was not accepted and ridiculed by others.  I wasn't the popular girl in school and guys never asked me out.  Having a celebrity crush probably replaced that, but I don't know.  My fantasy world probably shields me from reality though reality would not hold me back yet the fantasy world makes me feel better and more creative.  I obsess about other people and it started from when I was a child.  My biggest fears are that I will get over these crushes for I have yet to embrace them.

8. People feuding.
    I guess this is self-explanatory and ties in to others.  I hate feuding.  I want for everyone to get along.  My biggest fear is that something even worse could happen between two feuding who hate each other.  They will move on in some cases, but they will never truly make peace.  I am also afraid that nothing will be sacred anymore.

How to make a schedule for a day...

How to plan a schedule, from

1. Grab a pen and some paper or a notebook.
2. Start by placing the date on the left hand side, underlined neatly. On the right hand side you will be making times, preferably in digital clock annotations.
3. Grab some scrap paper and make the list of things you need to do for the day.
4. Put these activities in order of importance.
5. Write down the time you want to wake up in the margin.
6. Write down how you get ready, on different lines for example:
00- Wake up
02- Make bed
7. Move to the next things. Now you've written down everything you need to do to get ready, go on to complete your list of things to do, and follow through that with the same pattern.
8. Be balanced. If you have quite a lot of the time on your hands, separate the things you have to do with more playful, fun and indulgent things, so that you have an equal balance of fun and work.
9. Finish with the unwinding events for the day. Eventually you will get down to the end of the day. Here you write down how to get ready for bed. This should be written down exactly the same way that you wrote down the morning method for how to get ready, with relevant changes, for example:
30- Put pajamas on
33- Brush teeth

*** This is a good way to make a schedule.  In my mind, making a schedule seems impossible because I procrastinate too much.  It doesn't help that my attention span is rather short so concentration is a rather big problem.  So, how do I create a schedule that I can follow without making excuses?  How do I rather create one that is realistic so that my needs are met?  What should I add to my schedule?  Should I create more than one schedule or just one schedule for the day?  Hopefully, I won't be so hard on myself.  In order for this to not be a huge undertaking, I have to realize the benefits of scheduling in the first place.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

How to handle obsessive thought patterns

Alternatives to obsessive thought patterns

1. Reading a good book online or offline
2. Studying
3. Meditation
4. Artistic Endeavors
5. Gardening
6. Exercise
7. Ballet
8. Praying
9. Being thankful
10. Sports
11. Music
12. Spending time and associating with like-minded people.
13. Writing
14. Learning math, Spanish, anything
15. Set affirmations to motion
16. Plan days ahead including meal planning
17. Cooking
18. Play games online, or on television
19. Laugh a little
20. Learning about how to budget and save money without being obsessive about it
21. Travel and learn about other nations
22. Watching TV and family films
23. Journal thoughts and musings
24. Animals
25. Children

Those are things that will keep me occupied.  I was told that "changing" the channel will do me some good mentally.  I would like to handle living in a fantasy world and living in the real world.  Exercise is one of the few things that I need to do to not only lose weight, but to clear my head.  Right now, I am listening to music which is not only soothing but also inspirational.  I would like to learn to not only how to do these things on a regular basis but also perform these things on a daily basis.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

3/7-3/13 Homework Assignment

3/7-3/13 Homework Assignment Affirmations

3/7    I can overcome anything.
3/8    My soul is tranquil and my mind is calm.
3/9    I am strong and resilient.
3/10  I can do it.  I can beat this.
3/11 I am smart.
3/12 I am a child at heart.
3/13 I embrace who I am.

3/7-3/13 Musings
3/7   I finally realized that the root of all of my issues have been medical or at least about having low self-esteem.  Rarely do I speak as well about myself as I should.  The problem is where do I take it from here.  I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which has caused a lot of weight gain, facial hair, and other issues that I rather not explain.
3/8   I have a compulsion problem that I need to address.  The risks to having live the same day over and over is not only boredom but an endless pool of compulsions and obsessions.  I need to change, and change only for me.  I want to change.  I have a desire to change because of the risks involved to my health and psyche.
3/9   I have to explore every option to change.  I dreamed last night about the need and desire to change.  I was changing my menu plan.  I am going to exercise more and eat less.  That is simple.  Unfortunately, things don't come easy for me.  I realize that there is no payoff.  Okay, there may be some payoff, but it isn't worth it.  The benefits of change are those things that I didn't realize.  I want to lose weight also because I am inspired to do so.  I want to give credit for losing weight.  I want to be the hard worker that I know that I can be.  I am a diabetic and I would like to know what it would be like to not take so many medications throughout the day.  I have gotten closer to understanding that being so self-centered about my problems doesn't help either.  I wonder what it will be like to have a healthier body, to be fit, and to be able to do the things that others take for granted.  There is nothing like being able to do something one thinks they cannot do.  A sense of accomplishment would be the biggest benefits.
3/10   My greatest limitation is that I don't know that I have strength.  My strength does come from the Lord.  The truth is, I don't know my own strength.  I have difficulty applying those truths that I have learned from to my own daily life.  I have a compulsion issue and while the obsessive thoughts are largely gone, I still have to work through, deal with, or overcome the compulsions.
3/11   I need to determine what fits.  I realize that I need to make a decision about what is good in my life.  I do have a compulsion problem.  I have not yet figured out what is best for me.  I feel like I have grown up in the last few days.  My problems have not been solved mind you, but I haven't engaged in any compulsive eating today.  I would like to eat less and exercise more.  I only wish that diet and exercise were the only ones that had payoffs.
3/12   My main objectives are to lose weight and be more comfortable in my own skin, put God first instead of my obsessions, and to overcome all negative and bothersome thoughts that I have.
3/13   Lately, I have been affirming myself over the internet.  I  have card and slips to read and apply to my life.  I feel so much better and affirmations have brought me to a reality that I rarely knew existed.  I have low self-esteem and I didn't realize how much low self-esteem that I have.  I am reminded everyday that the affirmations are supposed to be a word or rather words of support for me.

3/7-3/13  Exercise blog posts
3/7   I admit that I didn't do much exercise today, but what little I did do has helped my back.  I plan to do these specific exercises asap.  I will not hesitate.  I have a compulsion/fear/guilt problem that I need to control, so I need to also deal with that as well.
3/8   I have finally picked out the clothes that I am going to use for my exercising.  I had no idea that I had such a wardrobe of clothes that I am going to wear.  I didn't exercise today as I was bored and feeling tired.  That was my fault but I will pick up where I left off from yesterday.  Exercise is quite beneficial regardless of how long and how intense.  I definitely need to exercise more.
3/9   I do need to exercise more.  I have to exercise more, and without excuse.  I am doing okay today, but I also have to deal with excessive napping and tiredness.  I don't know if it is the enemy of exercise but all this napping is not doing me any good.
3/10   While I did indeed have a long nap, I managed to stay standing today.  I know that does not count as exercise, but it seemed like it.  I just feel like going through the motions and give up.  I don't want to wait for someone else to help me.  I want to do so myself.  However, I have no idea where to begin.  I am a diabetic who has suffered back pain and other issues.  I guess walking would be the best option.
3/11   I guess watching myself and reading up on exercise is good motivation.  I feel like moving to a great song, which I somewhat did today.  Yesterday I walked however slowly.  Thursday I hope to exercise more than I have had in a while.
3/12   Exercise should and can be a key to overcome what ails me.  I am glad for the support that I have.  I feel great today because I realize that I can control what really does ail me and that I feel better with every step I take.
3/13   I am not proud of this.  I rarely if ever did any exercise today.  I have not eaten so much today however, which is beneficial.

3/7-3/13 Food journal entries
3/7  I have a compulsive eating disorder, or so it seems.  I need to identify why.  Is it medical?  Do I take medication?  What do I do with my compulsive "nature"?  It seems impossible, but I find out today that it will take a lot of time and a lot of patience.  I eat all hours of the day and I feel guilty and I want to lose weight.  The first thing will be hard and that is to get rid of the trigger foods even though my mother has a hand in dealing with my own compulsions.  Maybe I should talk to her about them.
3/8   I did engage in compulsive eating today with two bowls of cereal.  I am ashamed of logging them into my Weight watchers account.  I feel like I am wasting money and energy on this program that I am not doing so well in.  I have not lost any weight in this program and I feel like a failure.  I feel weak and powerless to do much about it.  I definitely need to change those patterns and continue to get the help that I need.
3/9   I am lucky to not engage in compulsive eating and drinking.  I did drink a lot of sweet drinks and juices however.  I felt as if there was a sudden drop in my blood sugar levels.  During those times, I wondered what can help me with the feelings of weakness and shakiness.  I did eat unhealthy foods, but in moderation. Maybe I should just lay off of the unhealthy foods for a while.  I have not lost any weight.  In fact, I have gained weight.  I want to do well for myself.  The best thing to do is to overcome or deal with the eating issues that I have.
3/10   I have some bad news.  The bad news is that I have gained weight.  The good news is that I can lose weight and I have done so before.  I didn't eat too much today.  I have been on Weight Watchers lately and I hope to count points and continue to do so for a long time.  I have a compulsion problem where I eat because I gave up.  That has made the compulsion much much worse.  Even making a plan in advance would make the compulsion worse.  I am coming to grips by gaining weight and by gaining weight, I can make a change.  I admit that I have a problem and it needs to be fixed.
3/11   I would like to continue eating much less than I have today.  I have been eating more fruits today than I have before.  Yesterday I was given information about how to eat healthy.  Eat in smaller portions and also load smaller plates with proteins with fruits and vegetables.  I would like to learn how to actually plan meals and stick to it.  Sadly, I rarely do.
3/12   I ate quite a bit of fried foods and white breads today.  I hope to feel better about what I ate.  I haven't eaten compulsively, but I do tend to eat the right kinds of foods which I do ever so often.  Now what I do ever so often is what I realize that I should do everyday.
3/13   I have consumed over the 43 point limit that I am supposed to eat throughout the day.  However, I have many points left so far for the weeks.  I have learned to eat better, say in moderation.  However, I have to learn to eat healthier.  I am not unhappy with what or how I ate today.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

2/28-3/6 Homework Assignment

2/28  I can dance my way to good health.
3/1 Life is fun and rewarding.
3/2 I am having so much fun in life.
3/3 Each and every day, my circumstances are improving
3/4 Music makes me feel alive.
3/5 I believe in You, Lord.
3/6 I am making positive choices in my life.

2/28 Dancing and dance music are absolutely fun.  I was listening to this song from a while back and sometimes I forget how good music sounds from a vehicle.  Ironically I don't feel that way about country music coming from the radio.  I rather watch a country music video or listen to a live performance.  I just find music and this song in particular, fascinating.  I just realized that I don't usually describe songs as fascinating but I wasn't sure what else to write in particular.  This is a song that I would recommend for exercise.
3/1 I am not sure where to begin here, but I have seen both men and women, and children doing this dance. Twerking is like sexuality, where one has to show restraint. In other words, there is a time and place for everything. It is one thing to twerk at a club with other 20-somethings, but to do the same dance in front of your children, on a graveyard, and in a church would make it sinful in my opinion because it is so disrespectful. I equate it to sex because sex in itself is not sinful and neither is dancing, including twerking.

3/2  I guess having "the look" has changed somewhat.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I wonder if a Dusty Rhodes would even have a job in today's WWE, much less be a main-eventer for instance.  I guess that is just an opinion of mine.  My opinions are all that I have.  I am just an armchair quarterback.  That's all.
3/3 Song of the day: Shine on us by Avalon
3/4 I find myself watching movies from the last few decades and wondering about the quality of them.  I watched the first two Iron Man movies and they were fun, but will they hold up against the Rocky or Godfather movies?  I guess only time will tell and only if they would ever be compared since the Iron Man movies are so recent compared to the Rocky and Godfather movies.  Plus there is this thing about criticism of different genres, so I don't see any of the Iron Man movies in any Oscar category unlike Rocky or Godfather 2.  I am no critic but just an average moviegoer who like what she likes.
3/5 Yes, I am overweight, but I am also an over eater.  I have my trigger foods that I have no business buying from the store.  It is hard to control myself whenever I eat.
3/6 Man, I just love the "Expendables"...sadly I haven't seen the second one yet.

Exercise blog entries
2/28 Unfortunately, I do have a cold.  Fortunately I feel better.  I am in a nice warm house "recuperating".  I believe that I will be okay.  I actually did some exercise, or rather moving today.  I guess pushing a cart would count as exercise.  It was for about an hour.
3/1 I did do some dancing but I wouldn't count is as strenuous.  I am not a good dancer however.  Maybe I don't know my own talent.  There is nothing like moving a muscle.  There are so many benefits to exercise.  I just feel so much better since I woke up.  I still have a cold and I would like to say that it is getting better.  However, there is nothing like having a stuffy nose.  There is nothing like being ill to put things in perspective.
3/2 I actually did some exercise on this somber day.  I was very ill since I could not breathe well for the most part during my long long nap.  I do feel pretty good however.  I am doing okay despite my cold.
3/3 I wonder what does constitute exercise.  Does walking constitute exercise?  What type of walking and when?  Do I really even exercise?  Am I still a beginner?  If I am not really exercising, then what I am afraid of?  Is walking in the backyard exercise?  How about walking around the house?  What would typify a slow walk; would it depend on speed or distance?  These are questions that I have to ask and decide for myself if it is exercise.  I am just wondering.
3/4  Moving a muscle is something that constitutes exercise?  It is the very definition of exercise.  Exercise is the movement of muscle that produces results.
3/5   On the other hand, I have other reasons to exercise or rather continue to exercise.  It does keep my mind off of things and maybe that is why exercise is so good to overcome this issue that I have.
3/6 I wonder if I exercise then I won't each as much.  Here is what I am trying to write: I eat less, then I exercise more.  If I eat healthier then I exercise more, then all will be well.  Simple as that, no?  Not if one has the issue that I have.

Food and diet blog entries
2/28 I went grocery shopping and needless to say, it felt great.  I learned not only to do something for me, but I realize that I can eat and shop healthy.  I realize that application of learned principles on a consistent basis is quite beneficial.  My frustrations have done nothing but overwhelm me and has caused nothing but weight gain.  I want and need to eat better than I do.  I would like to enjoy the benefits of healthy eating.  I have to keep in mind on a constant basis how to eat while having PCOS and having diabetes.  I felt like a failure years back.  Now it seems, I have to make up for lost time.
3/1 I realize how much grocery shopping I do, I still have to learn to eat healthier.  I am in a way ashamed.  I have an overeating problem, especially when it seems I am "hungry".  I eat out of control and I feel like a glutton.  I want, need, and desire to lose weight.  I need help.  I know I sound like a broken record, but when today's diet consist of fruits, no vegetables, 2 milks, and fried foods, something has got to change.
3/2 I wish I could just quit eating so much.  I believe that I have an addiction.  I need so much help, but I am frustrated and overwhelmed.  I don't know where to begin.  Today is one of my better days.  I seem to be hungry but not hungry.  I want, need, and desire to get myself together.  I ate mostly unhealthy foods in comparison to what I should be eating.  Maybe that is the problem.
3/3 I am trying to not overeat, which I did today.  I did not know what to do. I realize that my problem stemmed from anxiety, but also from other things, like a compulsive need to eat...almost.  I am not sure what my internal problems are.  I do eat too much.  I lack patience and self-control and that is a problem that I have.  Maybe my problem is a spiritual problem.  Who knows?  All I know is that I feel alone.
3/4 I have spent less time binge and have become more aware of what I overeat.  That is a good thing.  The downside is, is that I am still overeating.  I need help and I will not postpone this any longer.  I have even fewer points today than I have yesterday.  However, I realize that I have a long way to go.
3/5 I have an issue and it hasn't just been on my mind.  It is an issue that I struggle with daily.  It isn't really about my weight as much as it is about my overall health and well-being.
3/6 So I tried my best to eat well.  At least not eat too much over the limit.  I still have a lot of work to do.  I have to take it one day at a a time.  I will still seek help with the issue that I have.  I won't make any excuses. All I know is that I need help.  I believe that I will finally get the help I need.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

2/21-2/27 Homework Assignment

2/21  I am no longer fearful but I am strong.
2/22 I am a happy person full of life.
2/23 I have the grace of God.
2/24  Lord, I believe in You for I am an honest to goodness person.
2/25 No entry
2/26 I can do it..I am and continue to be the after picture.
2/27 I treat myself right.

2/21  I posted three YouTube videos that are Contemporary Christians such as Out of Eden and Avalon.
2/22  That is the problem.  I can only imagine.  I am isolated yet I feel isolated from the real world.  I want to see an adulterous woman hurt the way she hurt her "loved" one.  I felt that the adulterous woman was a bigger fool than an adulterous man.  The truth is, I have seemed to hate the deeds and dislike adulterous women for I don't think that they have morals.  But that is also what the thoughts say.  Why do I feel that way?  Will I ever truly know?
2/23  Infidelity is wrong, yes, but I believe that as a woman, I am doing the same thing with the Lord.  I don't always read scripture, pray, or spend time with the Lord.  I spend my time worrying about what the world thinks of me.  I want to be a part of Him.  Instead, I want Him to be a part of me.  It seems strange but I am trying to say that God should be the center of my life and the Head of my life.  Sometimes, I make God my co-pilot instead of giving Him the controls.  That is a problem that I need to work with.
2/24   I feel like there is something that is missing.  I don't know what it is, but I am wondering what is missing in my life.
2/25   I do complain a lot and I am tempted to complain right now, but I won't.
2/26   Happy Birthday, Erykah Badu posts with videos..
2/27   I believe and find that learning about nature and gardening are quite relaxing, and actually doing it are actually going a long way into one being more productive.  There is nothing in the world like being productive.

Food and Diet blog entries
2/21   No entry.
2/22   I hope to eat much better.  Eating two hamburgers, and two doughnuts with orange juice do not constitute a healthy diet.  I would like to be able to learn from that and apply it to my life.  Today, I didn't eat as much, yet I had to learn to do something for myself.  Eating or rather, consuming healthy foods is an option yet it doesn't always seem that way.  I have no excuses.
2/23   I ate peanuts this evening and an oatmeal creme pie just before that.  I wanted to and chose to eat them.  I realize that they are both trigger foods.  I do indeed eat the wrong kind of foods.  So I will need changes, many changes.  I realize things don't come easily for me.  I have to keep in mind that I have diabetes, high cholesterol, and blood sugar issues.  I also have PCOS so there are trigger foods that I am supposed to avoid.  There is more than eating so much.  There is ridding myself of processed and canned foods, which are difficult to do.  I wish to plan my meals, which would be beneficial.  However, I tend to eat beyond the limits of what I consume so that is because it will make me hungry.  I would like to learn how to eat and when to eat.
2/24   I have to do what I already know.  I have to plan my meals in advance.  It is urgent that I lose the weight and keep it off.  I lost over a pound today.  I am just shy under 300 lbs.  I wonder what my real goal is.  I would like to lose a lot of weight and feel much better.  Planning my meals is something that worries me as I can go over and eat more than what is allowed.  I feel like it is difficult to do so. However, planning my meals could go a long way into my losing weight.
2/25   Bump
2/26   No entry
2/27   I am still struggling but I realize that it is my fault.  I would like to lose weight and cook healthier foods.  Eat fried fatty foods in moderation even will not go towards losing weight if eaten for a period of time.  I have PCOS and I knew better.  I have to shop for better foods, which would go a long way into eating better.  All I have to do is do what is hardest.

Exercise Log entries
2/21 I feel that I need to address my weight issues.  I am feeling okay about facing my fears about exercise.  I realize that I need to face my fears.  How to do that?  Only God knows.
2/22 I am scared that I will never learn how to apply my words and knowledge to my daily life.  You see, things just don't come easy for me.  However, I did do a few lunges and some stretching today.  It wasn't much but it was a good start.
2/23 I hope to exercise for at least an hour 2 to three times a week.  I know I am unable to exercise on Fridays as I have a morning appointment.  I feel like going somewhere and just dance, move, walk, etc.  I wish things would come easily for me.  I pace and walk slowly, but that is not the exercise that I feel will help me to lose weight.  It clears my mind and it isolates me from the world, but it won't tighten my abs or glutes.  It won't help me slim my arms or thighs, nor has it always been good for my legs.  I want to be able to do what is hard.  I am thankful that I have the opportunity to do so.
2/24 I did only five minutes of exercise today but it was more strenuous than it should have been.  Seriously, it was not that strenuous.  I just raked yards.  I only did that type of work because it was needed.  I want to do more, but I am not sure what I need to do as far as far as that goes.  I used to love to be active and go to the gym.  I hope that I don't have any anxiety to go.
2/25 Yesterday, I didn't do much exercise.  I hope that I am even able to do some exercise.  Maybe I just need to walk or just move for now.
2/26 Sadly, I didn't do a lot of moving around or do much walking.  I realize that even though things don't come easy for me, I have to be the one to do the work.
2/27 Today, I did do some walking, but I have not been feeling well.  I have a slight cold and I did my share of resting.  I hope that I can feel better so that I can walk some more.  I lost some weight today and that has made me smile.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Homework Assignment 2/7-2/20

2/7   I am free to express myself.
2/8   I am a work in progress.
2/9    I believe that my living is not in vain.
2/10  I love every curl of my hair.
2/11  I speak life to all who come my way and I speak life to even myself.  We all need and deserve it.
2/12  I am deserving of love and I approve of myself.
2/13  No entry.
2/14  No entry.
2/15  I am a thankful and a thoughtful person.
2/16  I am in harmony with the world
2/17  I attract positivity because of my personality and my sense of humor.
2/18  My life is full of love and joy because I have all that I need, want, and desire.
2/19  My God is a God of plenty and I now receive all that I desire or require, and more
2/20  I love who I am.

2/7 Often I wake up to verses or songs in my head and I wondered if there is something out there for me.  I don't know.  Either way, this verse was of great interest to me, yet I cannot link it to my life.
2/8 My computer slowed down, I blew my "diet", and I am still sore and tired.
2/9  Many professing believers will not be wise virgins because of how they have failed to live their lives.  Many did not love the Lord with all their hearts, minds, and strengths.  "Jesus is a Love Song" I recommend to everyone.
2/10 Sly Stallone is cool in my book.
2/11 To me, cutting off all of my relaxed hair was a signal of independence, which I sorely needed.  I wanted to do something for myself, so that is what I did.  It felt more liberating than anything.  This is decision that I have not regretted.
2/12  No entry.
2/13  No entry.
2/14  No entry.
2/15  There is nothing like being both thankful and thoughtful.  There is also nothing like being thankful and thoughtful for what you don't have
2/16  On the other hand, dealing with anxiety and fear have been hard at times.  I feel like I need to relax.
2/17  I would like to be comfortable, healthy, fit, and be able to see and feel the benefits of losing weight.  Ironically I realize that it wasn't my weight that was THE root of my issues, it was me.
2/18  That is the problem.  How do I stop consuming so many processed foods and eat more fruits and vegetables per day?  How do I eat whole grains?  I would like to have the same thing that a person who is healthier consumes.  It would be great since I am trying to lose weight and stay and live healthier.  That is the goal that I wish to reach.  I would also like to save on healthier foods.  The question is: where do I begin?
2/19  I have learned three things: I frustrate easily, I have trouble relaxing, and I can sleep easily.
2/20  It is a lonely experience being fearful and alone.  I need help and it seems so hopeless.  There are times when I am scared of my own shadow.

Exercise Log
2/7    I cannot say I did any zumba or T25.  However, all I did was rake yards, which should be a great exercise to add unto a my WW program.  Yardwork is quite hard at times, and I realize how out of shape I truly am.
2/8   Nearly two hours of backbreaking work will do that to a person.  It was a lot of work...just doing yardwork.  I am just too slow and too out of shape for my own good.  I am also quite tired and that didn't help.
2/9  I literally did some back breaking work this past week.  Nearly ninety minutes of work is not fun.
2/10 The truth is, I am a beginner who has no clue how to start.  Should I start strength training?  Walking?  Anything?  I for one am tempted to just do anything no matter how advanced just so I could push the limit.
2/11  What good would exercise do if I continue to eat bad foods, especially if I am losing weight?  That is a good point.  I need and would like to, just start.  Just do it.  I wonder what I am really afraid of.
2/12  No entry.
2/13  No entry.
2/14   No entry.
2/15    I wish I had spent the last three days exercising, but I did not.  I admit that I did nothing to develop good eating habits or even an exercise regimen.  Maybe I should just start off slow and then work my way up. However, what exercise should I start with?
2/16   So I was watching Gilad this morning.  I have decided not to postpone exercising so I did nothing.
2/17    I wonder if I have to start off slow and then work up.  I am not new to exercise but I am new to the current mindset that I have.  The truth is, when I start something, I really get into it, and then fall flat on my face
2/18   Moving is so great.  Exercising is so great.  I forget the fun I have when I am exercising.  It makes me feel better and feel lighter.
2/19   I have no clue because I just have no clue.  I need help with exercising.  I am supposed to be eating right and exercise, but I have come to realize that application of what I know just doesn't come easy to me, no matter how hard I try.
2/20 I did some major exercise today and my mother and I were doing yard work this morning.  It was quite a workout and I was tired and a little bit sore.  I am okay today however.  I worked for over two hours.  I finally realized that I am out of shape and that exercise has made me feel better.

Food and Diet entries
2/7  I tend to eat a lot of food when I am hungry.  There are days when anything good no matter how healthy, can be a trigger.  I have no clue how to deal with a trigger until I carry the extra points until the next day.  It seems rather dishonest.  I would like to just control my eating so that I can lose more weight.  I am to keep it simple as I should have years ago.  I just want to lose weight because I know what could happen if I get larger.  I don't.  I want to fit into a chair, take less medication, fit into old clothes, and be less self-conscious about my weight.  Most of all, unbelievably, I would like to know that I have actually accomplished something.  I ate too much today and I wish I could eat less than my point limit.  How do I control myself?  How do I meet my needs without feeling guilty?  I wonder how.
2/8  Today I should have learned my lesson, but I did not.  Today was anything but a perfect day.  I need all the help I can get.  I want and need to lose weight but I feel so alone.  Maybe honesty when logging in is the best policy.  It can't be any worse than what I am doing now.  I need not to make "excuses" such as hunger and carrying it on to the next day.  Those things will not help me at all.  I realize that I need to make some changes, and fast.  I have to realize that first of all, wasting on a program that I am doing so badly on is not helping me.Nor is the fact that I am still struggling with overeating and not taking hunger into consideration.  I am also not helping myself by a failure to apply what I have just learned to my eating habits.  I know that I am supposed to eat up my points and I have an average of 7 extra points to use per day.  I have approached it all badly and I need help.
2/9  I cannot keep continuing in the problem.  My reaction and how I go about living when it comes to my food is counterproductive.  If I want to lose weight, then I have to control my hunger and my emotions.  I have such a difficult issue to deal with.  I wish I could end it.  I feel okay but a little discouraged.  I have no idea what I need to do.
2/10 I am glad to say that I did not overeat to the point of frustration.  However, I prayed about giving up control so that I can be motivated.  I feel much better than I have before.  I guess there were more and more important things that I need to deal with.  I have had other things on my mind.  Learning can be a struggle, but it can also take a little patience and a lot of application.
2/11 Despite being on Weight Watchers, I could use some help and I could use some support.  Applying what I have learned is very hard to do and it is quite daunting.
2/12 No entry.
2/13 No entry.
2/14 No entry.
2/15  Despite being on Weight Watchers, I have to admit that I am struggling.  I also have to admit that if I don't change, all I will be doing is wasting my money.
2/16  I changed my limits to 49 points because only 42 points frustrated me.  It left me room for treats or desserts.  On the other hand, it is even more tempting to eat unhealthy foods.  I did also eat fruits and vegetables and I will consume more fruits as our day goes by.  Right now, I am in a good mood after a loss of electric power and a few days of being ashamed to admit that my diet is poor.  How I preplan my meals will be difficult, but it will be well worth it.
2/17  I cannot believe it.  I feel like I can accomplish my goal.  I wasn't flawless, but I got better.  I ate fruits, vegetables, and legumes.  I am doing better because I learned how to do what I thought was hard all along.  I would like to feel better and less self-conscious.  I am a happier person today than I have been in a while.  I am very thankful.  I know I have gained weight, but ironically I feel great.  I know I can lose weight.  I know I can exercise and see them differently.  I am just hopeful today.
2/18 I am overwhelmed.  I am struggling with controlling my cravings.  Right now, I am not craving anything.  I wonder what can control cravings.   I crave peanuts one day and almonds another day.  I may have a sweet tooth, so I crave something sweet.  I am just struggling while I am on Weight Watchers.  Maybe this is just a part of the program.  I have no idea what I am doing, but I will stick to it.  Life like weight loss, is a journey.  I must remember that.  I was craving for peanut butter but I have to remind myself that I am sharing a house with another person, who also likes peanut butter.  I too must remember that.
2/19 It is the same thing as yesterday.  I must have forgotten what I have learned.  Application is quite hard for me.  Right now, I want a peanut butter sandwich.  I need help.  I need patience.  I wish I could have more time.  I need to lose weight because I want to lose weight and vice versa.  I have very few points left.
2/20 I ate pretty well today.  However I feel like I need to eat healthier though I ate protein.  I also need to eat fruits and vegetables today.  I don't eat enough of those on a daily basis.  Eating healthy is quite hard.  I realize that I have to do what is hard if I wish to succeed.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Homework Assignment 2/2-2/6

2/2 I know how to treat other people with respect and dignity.
2/3 I have style, taste, and class.
2/4 I am a classy person who respects other's rights and feelings.
2/5  I celebrate who I am today.
2/6  I am a strong person who is of good courage.

2/1  Change for me would involve my wanting to get out of my comfort zone and facing my fears.  I am just reflecting on my life and what is being too comfortable for me.  I am in a world where it is easy to be fearful and avoid what is so fearful.
2/2  RIP, Phillip Seymour Hoffman; I didn't watch a lot of his movies and such, but it is just so tragic when a person dies young.  May he rest in peace.

2/3   "Dukes of Hazzard" was hilarious.  I guess I am too nostalgic for my own good.
2/4    Sometimes I feel as if I am being ruled by a plan of events.  It doesn't become about planning it become more about a routine or at least a routine that controls my day.  In that sense, prioritizing can become more important and it helps to improve my life skills such as cleaning up a house or studying. 
2/5  Psalm 23 has given me peace of mind and says much about the character of God.
2/6  I as an American believe that we are isolated from the rest of the world, therefore making it easier for us, despite our technological advances there.  The world is a much smaller place despite the disconnect between I have learned here from American sources and what I have learned from actual Brazilian people. 

Food and Diet Blog Entries
2/2 I am a lot let nervous to exercise.  I was so nervous because I fear failure.  I think that an exercise log would make things easier for me.  Why I didn't realize this before, I have no idea.
2/3 I have to be careful eating trigger foods or avoid them altogether.  I realize that I can and do eat some fruits and vegetables.  Eating grains and lean meats are also important.  Being on WW has taught me to eat. 
2/4 Right now I feel like giving up.  However I am reminded of a lot of things.  I am cheap, so I better not waste any money on something that has been good for my health, lol.  Seriously, I need to lose the weight that I gained and then some.  Today has been a good start for me.  It has been a spiritual awakening.  I would like to live my life as a responsible adult.  I have had issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-control to contend with.  Those are deep issues that I have to face also including fears.  I am also nervous about going ahead with WW.  I don't wish to allow frustration to cause me to quit.
2/5 I need to learn about diet and exercise.  I don't feel good about myself.  I would like to overcome eating too much processed foods.  My question is, how do I go about doing that?  I feel like being ashamed of myself because I want to be honest yet it has been hard.  I really have to log in everything I eat.  I have to and need to be honest with myself if I wish to lose weight and take care of myself.
2/6 I don't feel guilty about what I ate. I am not sure how to plan all of my meals for tomorrow since I have an appointment.  My mother and I do cook different types of foods, which is true, yet there are foods like greens that we have in common.

Exercise Blog Entries
2/1   I have an obvious desire to change.  I am nervous however.  I am afraid that I will not stick to an exercise routine.  I like to walk and do other exercises but I am nervous about it. 
2/2   I didn't exercise much, but I did push and pull a heavy cart full of groceries this morning.  I wonder how many WW points that will be.
2/3   Needless to say, I am not a good dancer.  Well, I cannot say that because I am just too shy to dance.  I am just shy period.  It doesn't seem that way because I am being so blunt.
2/4   I did some dancing today, so I felt pretty decent.  However, I feel nervous about having an exercise regimen.
2/5   I even have a hard time following simple diet and exercise advice.  I have to admit that I did dance some, which is good.  But either I am lazy or I am beginning to hate exercise.
2/6 I do procrastinate this is true.  However, I want to do better and overcome this issue of procrastination.  Why do I tend to do that? 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Life skills and planning

I had no understanding of what life skills and planning are.  This is the truth.  I have a lot of issues in my life such as being overwhelmed and the inability to relax.  I also have low self-esteem and anxiety disorder.  It also does not help that I am bipolar.

Now, I realize that life skills are basic.  They are about how I plan my day.  Planning involves how I schedule my days.  Planning is  more complicated than life skills.

All I have to do now to make a schedule of events.  However if I were, then it will go like this

Wake up
Medication and Multivitamin
Eat a snack
Read online
Continue to listen to music and watch religious videos online

I will try to follow this schedule on a daily basis.  However, I would like to add what my priorities are.  Why they are my priorities?  How do I go about acting on those priorities? What are my priorities and goals in life?  Those are the things that I wish to answer.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Homework 1/24-2/1

1/24 I am not ignorant of the devil's devices, so I am not blissful or willfully blind.
1/25 I am not jealous, but kind and giving.
1/26 Christ is the center of my world.
1/27 I love music and thus I am a musician at heart.
1/28 I can take care of myself.
1/29 I can be bad all by myself.
1/30 I respect myself.
1/31 I love my beautiful brown skin.
2/1  I love who I am because of what my ancestors have accomplished in life.

1/24   I am happy today.  I am contemplating about my life.  I am just happy that all is well.  I am fearful of a lot of things.  However, I feel that it was something that I could overcome.  I have allowed fear to dominate my life.  I have OCD and fear and anxiety are part of the equation.  I also have doubt and uncertainty in my life.  There are things that I wanted to write today that I simply forgot.  I am being truthful about this which is what I need.  I need to be less fearful and more truthful to God, myself, and others.  I sometimes lie because I am afraid.  I am afraid that something bad would happen.  Today I believe strongly that I have been forgiven.  I forgive myself for lying to all.  It is time that I would unleash.
1/25 Love is not jealous, but is kind.
Hope is intertwined with faith and love.
Faith is the evidence of things hoped for and the evidence of things that are unseen.

I didn't always understand what it means.  We cannot be believers without hope, faith, and love.  We might as well not even be called a true believer in Christ if we have neither faith, hope, and or love.  Those three just go hand in hand in hand.

1/26 It is better to be grateful.  It makes life worth living.  I admit that I complain too much.  I really do.  Rarely do I take the time to be grateful.  That is to my great shame.  Here are a list of things as far as my weight loss journey that I am grateful for or rather, are my strengths.

1. Lost a few pounds in the first few weeks.
2. Knowledge about eating in moderation.
3. Learning how to follow a schedule.
4. Affirming myself daily.
1/27 "Danca la Solidao" is a song that is quite beautiful.  It makes me want to learn Portuguese all over again.  Marisa Monte is one of my favorite artists.
1/28 Why do I really want to lose weight?  What are my motivations?  Do I really want to lose weight?  How motivated am I?  What do I want?
1/29 I have no clue what kind of person he or she is, but it seems that we are so quick to judge celebrities in a society where many profess Christ. Notice I only wrote profess. Is it ever okay to condemn a celebrity? In other words, why do so many people say "I don't like (fill in the blanks)" or "I hate (fill in the blanks)" even if they don't know the celebrity. The chances of meeting them are slim to none. On the opposite side of the coin, we have people who seem to "worship" the ground the celebrities walk on. I assume that it has always been this way.
1/30 These stories and this paragraph is connected to what I have written last night. I need to read up my thoughts and change my reaction to these thoughts and have a different opinion on these scenarios. I need to move and know how to move forward. If it means to be anxious and feel fear every once in a while, then so be it.
1/31 "Let's Go All the Way" by Sly Fox takes me back to a nostalgic era.
2/1  I am in a world where it is easy to be fearful and avoid what is so fearful.  Being too comfortable involves avoiding what is tormenting us but we all have to face our fears.  Fear after all, is false evidence that appears real. 

Food and Diet Blog Entries
1/24 I overate today.  There is always tomorrow.  I alone made that choice and I hope to never do it again.  Weight Watchers has taught me many things so far, such as how to eat and what to eat.  I am thankful to God that now I am not frustrated and on Weight Watchers.
1/25 Right now, I just finished eating bread.  I realize that this is a lesson.  If I am going to spend money on a program, the least I could do is not to overeat.  I am 14 points so far below the point average.  I obviously take full responsibility for what I have done.  I don't feel bad.  However, like I mentioned earlier, it is still a lesson well learned.
1/26 I just think complaining has brought me down.  It has done nothing good for me, none at all.  I only have 42 points for now.  But I also have a large "deficit".  No one who is spending money on a diet program should have a "deficit" as large as I have.  Planning meals is what will do me some good. 
1/27 I need to follow the goals that I set for myself.  In the past, it was too high to attain or too low.  I am all for a happy medium.  In other words, I needed to be realistic.  I have to push myself yet be realistic.  I think that I did well today.  I ate all of my points and hopefully I will lose weight this time.
1/28 I am still figuring out what I need to do to exercise everyday without giving up.  The problem with me is that I tend to give up easily after a few days.  I tend to procrastinate, do the work, and then quit.  The truth is, there seems to be little time left.  Today I don't feel guilty about what I ate.  However, I would like to plan meals.  I would also like to not only set goals, but to live them.  I need to learn to apply those goals to my life and keep things simple.  I just hope that I don't feel like giving up.
1/29  I realize that I have a major struggle to eat a lot of healthy foods, especially fruits and vegetables. I am not sure I know what I am doing.  I am struggling to do so.  Thankfully I am not struggling to the point where I desire to give up.  Wanting or desiring to give up has lead me to the point I am in now.  I ate 5 or 6 servings of vegetables which is good.  However, I eat a lot of unhealthy foods such as a large amount of sweets.  I need to identify my trigger foods so that I won't overeat.  Losing weight is a journey, but it is a journey that is worth it.
1/30 I did pretty well.  I am well under the limit, which is either good or bad.  I am supposed to consume 42 points today.  I only consumed 31 points, which is probably not enough but I am not guilty of feeling guilty because I overate.  It is still a struggle, but I believe I can do anything that I put my mind to it.
1/31 I am diabetic and I now realize that healthy foods come in a greater variety than I thought.  I have to realize that I also need to do a better job with eating in moderation.  I realize also that I need to make small changes.  I am on Weight Watchers and I have to remind myself that I need to be healthy and eat healthy.  I am getting healthier but not healthy enough.  I would like to know where to start.
2/1  I have an obvious desire to change.  I am nervous however.  I am afraid that I will not stick to an exercise routine.  I like to walk and do other exercises but I am nervous about it.  To many, it makes no sense, but I am anxious about it.  I ate well today and I spent a lot of time learning how to eat.  I figure that doing a lot of work yet eating badly does no good.  So I wonder where I should begin?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Healthy Eating goals

There are healthy eating goals that I need to set.

1. Eat less processed foods.
    Eat chips, crackers, and ice cream in moderation.

2. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
    Eat more fruits and vegetables during or after a meal.

3. Eat more whole grains.
   Eat fewer whole grain bread, bagels, and pasta.

4. Eat more organic foods.
    While organic foods are more expensive, they may be better for me.

5.  Consume more fish.
     Fish are good for the brain and the circulatory system.  Fresh fish would include tuna and salmon.

6.  Consume eggs, legumes, and meat.

7. Bake, boil, and/or poach foods.  They are healthier than fried foods, which contain more fat.

8. Read nutritional information.  Apply nutritional information or label nutrition on all that I consume.

9.  Consume more nuts and seeds.

10.  Remember that I am a diabetic who also has PCOS; diet plays an important role in losing weight and keep the weight off.

11.  Journal everything I eat and drink.

12.  It also helps to plan meals in advance.

13.  It helps to eat frozen foods, including frozen fruits and vegetables, which keep longer than produce and has better nutritional value.

14.  Limit fats and sweets, unless the good fats are in fish oil and avocado.

15. Be creative with the foods that I consume.

Homework 1/15-1/23

1/15/14   I am brave enough to go through pain and struggle.
1/16/14   Life is mine to live and I will live it.
1/17/14   Patience is one of my virtues.
1/18/14   I have never been a fool for love...thankfully.
1/19/14   I believe in myself.
1/20/14   I am wonderful.
1/21/14   I do things that are not only beneficial to myself, but are beneficial to others as well.
1/22/14   I have an open mind. Therefore, I have an open heart.
1/23/14   I never take anything or anyone for granted.

1/16/14   Hopefully I have set some realistic goals for myself.  I realize that failing to plan something realistic is just as dangerous as planning to fail.
1/17/14    I have to do this or I have to do that is a big mistake and it produces failure.  What should be on my mind is to set a realistic goal based on the probable causes of failure.
1/18/14    I realize that discernment is something that every Christian is supposed to have in terms of identifying false prophets even if some have the gift of discernment.  This is what I was concerned about today.
1/19/14   I have learned that a key to true discernment is to abstain from all appearance of evil.  I am not sure what it means as written in God's word however
1/20/14   I have been on Weight Watchers before and I was frustrated.  I was not as patient back then.  I wish I had stayed longer, but that is my goal now.  I want to do well on this program.
1/21/14    When was the last time I have written a short story?  When was the last time I have tried Japanese food?  I haven't tried Japanese food, but the point is the same.  I need to do more with my life.  I would like to take up a hobby or something.  I was bored with listening music today.  I couldn't finish listening to many songs today.  I correlate listening to a song with whatever mood hits me.  That is just how I am.  What is it that I want to learn?
1/22/14   Life is too short not to plan and also life is too short to complain.  The best gift in life when one is bored is to do something about it.
I am contemplating but not much.  I eat food because of celebration or because I have given up.  I am now in a stable place with my eating.  It is ironic because I still have a ways to go as far as eating a healthy diet.  All I know what to do is to keep it simple enough by having goals and sticking to them.
Even that is hard, but hopefully I will get through it.
Food and Blog entries

1/15/14    How do I define life skills?  It has to do with dieting for me.  It also has to do with changing my mind and controlling how to think and what I think about food in this case.  I realize that sweating the small stuff is stressful, but so is lacking in control.  I have eaten more than I should today and I have eaten too much.  I want to continue on the program and lose weight.  The last thing I wish to do is quit.
1/16/14    Well, I will not quit.  So far, today is a day that I will do well.  I understand that the key is to limit the "bad stuff" and eat more fruits, vegetables, lean meat, and whole grain.  As someone who has PCOS and also diabetes, eating a healthy diet is very important to me.  I also plan to set more realistic goals for me.
1/17/14    I guess that I did well for the first week.  So far, I am happy with what I have done.  There are things that I will like to learn.  I have to learn not to have trigger foods all around me.  Trigger foods include ham, ice cream, frozen yogurt, snacks, and crackers.
1/18/14    I have done well, yet there are times when I need to know how to fix a meal. Fixing a meal means to determine which foods should go with what.  In other words, I can't just eat two or more things and call it a filling breakfast.
1/19/14    I still have a lot to learn, but I think that I could do worse.  As of right now, I am not frustrated on my weight loss journey.
1/20/14    I need to be consistent. I have been on Weight Watchers before and I was frustrated.  I was not as patient back then.  I wish I had stayed longer, but that is my goal now.
1/21/14     The problem has been that I have always had so much information that it has gotten confusing.  How do I keep it simple when I had so much information?
1/22/14    I realize that first I need to eat healthy so that I can eat properly.  I have little idea how to eat healthy.  I would like to know about healthy eating and fitness
I am contemplating but not much.  I eat food because of celebration or because I have given up.  I am now in a stable place with my eating.  It is ironic because I still have a ways to go as far as eating a healthy diet.  All I know what to do is to keep it simple enough by having goals and sticking to them.
Even that is hard, but hopefully I will get through it. What the problem is, it's that I need to learn how to eat, and what to eat, and when to eat food.  I realized that food consumption has been allowed to control me.  I need help but I realize that small changes make a big difference.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014


11/7 Affirmation: I have prayed for my loved ones because I believe that we are all valuable.
11/6 Affirmation: I am an overcomer who can face any challenge.
11/5 Affirmation: I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
11/4 Affirmation: I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
11/3 Affirmation: I am worthy of being cherished.
11/2 Affirmation: I am grateful.
11/1 Affirmation: God is the One who has given me such endless talents.
11/8     I know that God is always with me. – Isaiah 41:10
11/9     With my heart open to God's renewing love, I accept my healing now.
11/10   Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.
11/11   I am preparing myself for Jesus' return.
11/12   I can stand on my own two feet and move forward with my life.
11/13   I eat slowly and stop eating the moment I feel full.
11/14   I am a gift from God, not only for one season, but for the entire year.
11/15 I am amazing just the way I am.
11/16 I accept my body shape and acknowledge the beauty it holds.
11/17 My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.
11/18 My healing is already in process.
11/19 Others can trust me because I am trustworthy and reliable.
11/20 I am gracious and grateful.
11/21 I love and approve of myself.
11/22 I attract good things in my life that are needed.
11/23 I bring joy to all around me because I am joyful.
11/24 I am a friend to myself.
11/25 I am happy about my weight.
11/26 I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
11/27 I am prayerful.
11/28 I am thankful.
11/29 I am a thankful, grateful, gracious soul.
11/30 I believe in honor and therefore I practice being honorable.
12/1 The Lord is my Rock and my Salvation...I am saved by Jesus Christ.
12/2 I have learned to say no because it is so freeing.
12/3 God is the owner of my heart.
12/4 I am living my life like it is golden because it is a gift.
12/5 I am strong like steel is strong.
12/6 I love not just the idea of love, but love itself.
12/7 I love myself and I love everyone.
12/8 I am free because I live in freedom
12/9 I am preparing myself for the return of Jesus.
12/10 Life loves me because I love life.
12/11 I believe in change that benefits me.
12/12 I love music and therefore I am a musical person.
12/13  I am a studious learner.
12/14  I am good at planning things.
12/15  I am loving, kind, and generous.
12/16  I am a loving and kind creation of God.
12/17  I love my curly hair.
12/18  I love my shape, size, and color.
12/19  I am well-aware and confident.
12/20   I love to celebrate because I am a joyful person.
12/21   I care about myself and others around me and I want the best for them.
12/22   I am not vain.
12/23   I can see the world with beautiful eyes.
12/24   I am a nice, not a naughty person.
12/25   I am joyous.
12/26   I am strong and I love myself.
12/27  I have strong beliefs that are beneficial to my life and myself.
12/28  I know how to give love and receive it.
12/29  I have been good all year.
12/30  I'm black and I'm proud.
12/31  My heart is not broken.
1/1/14  I will enjoy myself because I will have a blessed new year.
1/2/14  I am talented and clever.
1/3/14  I am intelligent.
1/4/14  I am witty and have a good sense of humor.
1/5/14  I am thankful to the Lord who gives me strength.
1/6/14  I appreciate who I am.
1/7/14  I don't take my family and friends for granted for they love me too.
1/8/14  I am a brave person who has learned to stand on her own two feet
1/9/14  I will be a success no matter what goes on in my life.
1/10/14  I am not foolish, but I am cautious.
1/11/14  I am a fun person to be around.
1/12/14  I am true to myself and will continue to do so.
1/13/14  I like myself and others like me for who I am.
1/14/14  I meditate on what is good.
1/15/14  I am brave enough to go through pain and struggle.
2013-05-19 Affirmation: I am loved and respected.
2013-05-19 Affirmation: I am Heavenbound.
2013-05-19 Affirmation: I love animals.
2013-05-19     Affirmation: I am caring.
2013-05-19     Affirmation: God is love because He first loved me.  I love God.
2013-05-19 Affirmation: I am loving.
2013-05-19 Affirmation: I won't have to worry anymore.  Thank you, Jesus.
2013-05-22  Affirmation: I am a friendly person.
2013-05-22 Affirmation: I am a nice person.
2013-05-24 Affirmation: People like me because I am a nice person.
2013-05-24 Affirmation: God made me who I am and that is why I am thankful.
2013-05-24 Affirmation: I am Holy, for the Lord is Holy and I shall live according to Jesus' example. 2013-05-24 Affirmation: I have friends and family who love me.
2013-05-24 Affirmation: I love me.  I admire me.
2013-05-25 Affirmation: I care about and respect people.
2013-05-25 Affirmation:  I believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
2013-05-25 Affirmation: I love animals and I know that animals in general, lol, love me.
2013-05-25 Affirmation: I am humble.
2013-05-26  Affirmation: God is love.
2013-05-26  Affirmation: Jesus loves me.
2013-05-26  Affirmation: Jesus saves.
2013-05-27  Affirmation: I am at peace with myself.
2013-05-27 Affirmation: I am joyful.   
2013-05-28  Affirmation: Thou will be at perfect peace whose mind is stayed on the Lord. 2013-05-28 Affirmation: I am a baptized child of God.
2013-05-29 Affirmation: I care about my health.
2013-05-29 Affirmation: I have lost weight.
2013-05-30 Affirmation: I like my looks.
2013-05-30 Affirmation: I love and respect myself because of what I have accomplished thanks to God. 2013-05-30 Affirmation: I have lost weight and I feel great.
2013-06-01 Affirmation: I am a gentle, loving soul.
2013-06-01 Affirmation: People like me for who I am.
2013-06-02    Affirmation: I care about myself.
2013-06-02 Affirmation: I have the ability to take better care of myself.  I have lost weight. 2013-06-03 Affirmation: I am beautiful, no matter what they say...Christina Aguilera
2013-06-03 Affirmation: I am not an ugly person.
2013-06-03 Affirmation: I have lost weight and I feel better about what I can accomplish. 2013-06-04 Affirmation: I am a decent person.
2013-06-04 Affirmation: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
2013-06-05    Affirmation: I choose to diet and exercise regularly.
2013-06-05    Affirmation: I like the fact that I am willing to change.
2013-06-05    Affirmation: I appreciate me for who I am.
2013-06-06 Affirmation: I love animals, especially cats, lol.
2013-06-06 Affirmation: I am fair-minded.
2013-06-07 Affirmation: I am happy with my face.
2013-06-07 Affirmation: I like my height.  I am not self-conscious about my height.
2013-06-08 Affirmation: I like and respect my body because I am taking care of it.
2013-06-08 Affirmation: I love music because it is so powerful, so inspiration, so moving, and universal. Music loves me too, lol
2013-06-09  Affirmation: I am faithful to the end.
2013-06-09  Affirmation: I am not a fake person. I am my real, true self with all people.    
2013-06-10  Affirmation: I am wise beyond my years.
2013-06-10  Affirmation: I am a changed person.    
2013-06-11  Affirmation: I am a free-thinker.
2013-06-11 Affirmation: I have lost weight because of hard work and dedication.    
2013-06-12  Affirmation: I love my hair because I take care of it.
2013-06-12  Affirmation: I am a creative person.     
2013-06-13 Affirmation: I am funny.
2013-06-13 Affirmation: I am charming.
2013-06-14 Affirmation: I have faith greater than a mustard seed.
2013-06-14 Affirmation: I love my hair.
2013-06-15 Affirmation:  I am a smart person.
2013-06-15 Affirmation: I no longer put off for tomorrow what I can do today. That is a good change for me.
2013-06-17  Affirmation: People like me for who I am because I am charismatic.
2013-06-17  Affirmation: I have made the conscious choice not to be frustrated about my weight plateau.
2013-06-17  Affirmation: I am a lovable person who is liked and loved by my family and friends.
2013-06-17  Affirmation: I am a caring, kind person who loves children.    
2013-06-18 Affirmation: I love my hair because I take care of it.
2013-06-18 Affirmation:  I am a spiritual person who loves the Lord.
2013-06-19  Affirmation: I am a thankful, grateful person.
2013-06-19  Affirmation: I love my hair. It is beautiful.
2013-06-20 Affirmation: I care about others just as I care about myself.
2013-06-21  Affirmation: I have a lot of great friends. 
2013-06-22 Affirmation: I care much about myself and I care about others.
2013-06-23  Affirmation: I have a great and deep respect for life for it is about having a great and deep respect for the dignity of all mankind.
2013-06-23 Affirmation: I am loved and I love in return.
2013-06-24 Affirmation: I will not treat myself badly because I will no longer allow others including myself that opportunity.
2013-06-26  Affirmation: I care about the world that we live in and all that is in it.
2013-06-27  Affirmation: Communication is something that I do well; it is a key to solving the world's social ills.
2013-06-29  Affirmation: I have a firm grasp of the world around me.
2013-06-30  Affirmation: I love exercising because my mind is now clear.    
2013-07-01  Affirmation: No matter what they say, I am strong woman.    
2013-07-02  Affirmation: Love is kind and not jealous.    
2013-07-03  Affirmation: God really does answer prayer and that I believe God answers my prayers. Thank You.    
2013-07-04  Affirmation: I may be set in my ways, but I am strong minded and strong willed, but in a good way.    
2013-07-05  Affirmation: I am a patriot who believes in honoring our soldiers who are defenders of freedom.
2013-07-05  Affirmation: I am a true patriot because I love my country and hate injustice.    
2013-07-06  Affirmation: I have a high regard for myself as a child of the living true God.   
2013-07-07 Affirmation:  I am strong, wise, and powerful, for God has given me strength, wisdom, and power.
2013-07-08 Affirmation:  I am caring because God cares for me.
2013-07-08 Affirmation: I am fair for God is the God of fairness and wisdom.
2013-07-09 Affirmation: I realize that the pain and suffering of the present time are only temporary to the glories of eternity.
2013-07-10 Affirmation:  Being smart, knowledgeable, and educated are good, but being wise is even better.
2013-07-10 Affirmation: Black is most definitely beautiful.
2013-07-11  Affirmation: I truly can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  
2013-07-12 Affirmation: I see myself as beautiful because that is how God sees me.
2013-07-12 Affirmation: I am able to show myself to be a strong person because I have been given strength, power, and a sound mind by God.
2013-07-13 Affirmation:  I believe in the sanctity of life..that is why I am against abortion. 2013-07-13 Affirmation: My God shall supply all of my needs, whatever they are, according to His riches and glory by Jesus Christ.  Amen.
2013-07-14 Affirmation: I am knowledgeable.
2013-07-15  Affirmation: I am a prayerful person and that God is sovereign. Amen.    
2013-07-17   Affirmation:I give myself permission to say "no" when I am asked to do something I really don't want to do and I refuse to feel guilty.
 2013-07-17  Affirmation: I accept peace within myself.    
2013-07-18  Affirmation: I am a repentant sinner. Thank You, Jesus.
 2013-07-18 Affirmation: Love means being able to say that I have the ability to change.    
2013-07-19  Affirmation: Jesus has made me whole.
 2013-07-19  Affirmation: Jesus saves.    
2013-07-20  Affirmation: Nothing is too hard if you follow through.    
2013-07-21  Affirmation: I know that wasting even a precious moment is futile for life is but a vapor.
 2013-07-21  Affirmation: I know that Jesus Christ is the Only Way to the Father.    
2013-07-22  Affirmation: I know that health like time is of the essence.
 2013-07-22  Affirmation: I know that Jesus can change the world if only we allow Him to do so.    
2013-07-23  Affirmation:Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.---Jim Rohm
 2013-07-23  Affirmation: Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
 2013-07-23  Affirmation: I hope to continue to be true to myself.  
2013-07-24 Affirmation:  I have a purpose.
2013-07-24 Affirmation: I have hope because I am hopeful.
2013-07-25  Affirmation: I know that I can be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
2013-07-25  Affirmation: I know that Jesus can change the world and all of us living in it.   
2013-07-26 Affirmation: I have shown myself to be a friend because I am loyal.
2013-07-26  Affirmation: I am a generous person to a fault.
2013-07-27 Affirmation:  Affirming myself is a sign that I am grateful to all and for all.
2013-07-27 Affirmation:  I believe in the importance of a loving family, which I have. Thank You for my family.
2013-07-28  Affirmation: I love the concept of love. I love being loved because we are all worthy of love. 2013-07-28  Affirmation: Jesus loves me, for God is love.    
2013-07-29  Affirmation: I am just as good and just as important as all others.
 2013-07-29  Affirmation: I believe in the value of all life.    
2013-07-30  Affirmation: I deserve the best in life because I have worked for them such as my weight. 2013-07-30  Affirmation: I have learned to show myself as a friend and thus, I have friends who love and respect me for who I am.    
2013-07-31 Affirmation: I deserve the best in life.      
2013-07-31  Affirmation: I earn respect because I give love and respect in return.     
2013-10-31 Affirmation: I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today. 2013-10-30 Affirmation: I am a gift to the world as we all are.
2013-10-29 Affirmation: God loves me and accepts me as I am.
2013-10-28 Affirmation: I have a conscience because I love and respect others.
2013-10-27 Affirmation: I love affirmations because they are a sign of showing love towards myself. 2013-10-26 Affirmation: I am proud of who I am.
2013-10-25 Affirmation: I am worthy of honor for I have learned to stand on my own two feet. 2013-10-24 Affirmation: I am grateful to be alive and well.
2013-10-23 Affirmation: I am cool, calm, and collected.
2013-10-22 Affirmation: I am worthy of gaining wisdom.
2013-10-21 Affirmation: I found 100 ways to show that I am worthy of
2013-10-20 Affirmation: I stick to my beliefs for I believe they are based on truth.
2013-10-19    Affirmation: I deserve to be loved, needed, and wanted.
2013-10-17 Affirmation: I am the apple of God's eye.
2013-10-16 Affirmation: I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.
2013-10-15 Affirmation: I am content with my life.
2013-10-14 Affirmation: I am content.
2013-10-13 Affirmation: I love the skin that I'm in.
2013-10-12 Affirmation: We are all worthy of having our basic needs met.
2013-10-11 Affirmation: I deserve to have fun this weekend.
2013-10-10 Affirmation: I am a blessing to all around me.
2013-10-09 Affirmation: I am worthy of having fun in life.
2013-10-08 Affirmation: I have been told that I have a beautiful personality. 2013-10-07 Affirmation: I am worthy of peace of mind.
2013-10-06 Affirmation: I am worthy of a sunny day free from all cares.
2013-10-05 Affirmation: I deserve to be cared for.
2013-10-04 Affirmation: I believe in living the best life possible for life is too short.
2013-10-03 Affirmation: I am honorable.
2013-10-02 Affirmation: I deserve a long, healthy life.
2013-10-01 Affirmation: I am worthy of respect, but God is worthy of honor, for He is honorable. 2013-09-30 Affirmation: I am one of His creations.
2013-09-30     Affirmation: I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
2013-09-29    Affirmation: I am worthy of love because I have been given grace.
2013-09-28 Affirmation: What a day the Lord has made.
2013-09-27 Affirmation: God is worthy of praise and adoration.
2013-09-26 Affirmation: I know how to face and conquer my fears for God is with me.
2013-09-25 Affirmation: I am learning to stand on my own two feet.
2013-09-24 Affirmation: I believe that I am worthy and that all is possible with hard work and dedication. 2013-09-23 Affirmation: I am awesome..
2013-09-22 Affirmation: I am worthy of being appreciated.
2013-09-21 Affirmation: I believe with all of my heart that confession is good for the soul. 2013-09-20   Affirmation: We can all be a blessing, but not in disguise.
2013-09-19 Affirmation: I am full of knowledge to pass on to others and I am wise to the world. 2013-09-18 Affirmation: I am a blessed creation of God.
2013-09-18 Affirmation: I believe that fantasy is reality turned upside down.  I prefer reality. 2013-09-17 Affirmation: I am an extraordinary person who is worthy of love.
2013-09-16 affirmation: I try to be at peace with everyone.
2013-09-15 Affirmation: I am faithful for God is faithful.
2013-09-14 Affirmation: I am kind to myself and to others.
2013-09-13 Affirmation: God guides my every step and I follow Him.
2013-09-12 Affirmation: I will be clear and honest with God, myself, and others.
2013-09-11 Affirmation: We are all worthy of love.
2013-09-10 Affirmation: I am an enduring woman.
2013-09-09 Affirmation: I have taken up my cross and have denied myself.
2013-09-09 Affirmation: Moderation is the key to daily life.
2013-09-08 Affirmation: I am truthful with myself and others.  I believe in truth.
2013-09-08 Affirmation: I have a positive outlook today.
2013-09-07 Affirmation: I choose to make the right choices for me and they are of benefit to me. 2013-09-06 Affirmation: By the stripes of my Savior, I am already healed.
2013-09-05 Affirmation: Imagine me without God...nope, I cannot.
2013-09-04 Affirmation: I am just as good as everyone else.
2013-09-04 Affirmation: I am a solution instead of a problem.  We can either be a part of the solution or part of the problem.
2013-09-03 Affirmation: God cannot lie.
2013-09-03 Affirmation: I cherish my family and my life.
2013-09-02 Affirmation: I cherish every myself.
2013-09-02 Affirmation: I affirm myself everyday.
2013-09-01 Affirmation:  I love me.
2013-09-01 Affirmation: I love being a woman.
2013-08-31   Affirmation: I can and will do all things through Christ who gives me strength. 2013-08-31 Affirmation: I am a happy person.
2013-08-30 Affirmation: I am a changed person.
2013-08-30 Affirmation: Fear cannot hold me back.
2013-08-29 Affirmation:God has borne my illness for this is what I believe.
2013-08-29 Affirmation: I believe that Jesus does indeed heal therefore I believe that by His stripes, I am healed.
2013-08-28 Affirmation:I drop useless habits for they no longer do me any good.
2013-08-28 Affirmation: I am not sorrowful.  I am joyful.
2013-08-27 Affirmation:  I feel like I can conquer the day after a good night's rest.
2013-08-27 Affirmation: I am peaceful and calm.  I am well-rested.
2013-08-26 Affirmation: My spiritual marriage is strong and is getting stronger everyday. 2013-08-26 Affirmation: I am loyal and devoted to Jesus Christ, my faithful Lord, Husbandman, and Savior.
2013-08-25 Affirmation: I trust myself in making the right decisions.
2013-08-25 Affirmation: I have exhibited self-control in all of my life endeavors.
2013-08-24 Affirmation: I am a hero to myself and to others.
2013-08-24 Affirmation: I am a walking, talking, breathing miracle.
2013-08-23 Affirmation: I am beautiful on the inside.
2013-08-23 Affirmation: I am joyful.
2013-08-22 Affirmation: I am open to new ideas as a creative person.
2013-08-22 Affirmation: I am no longer angry because I have plenty of love in my life.
2013-08-21 Affirmation: I know how to have a good time because I am a fun person to be around. 2013-08-21 Affirmation: I make myself smile because I am a happy person.
2013-08-20 Affirmation: I am growing up and growing wiser.
2013-08-20 Affirmation: YOLO so I like to have fun because I choose to.
2013-08-19 Affirmation: I have a beautiful personality and spirit.
2013-08-19 Affirmation:  I am a lovely person.
2013-08-18 Affirmation: I am replenished for I drink more than enough water daily.
2013-08-18    Affirmation: I believe that water has healing properties.
2013-08-17 Affirmation:  I am an amazing person.
2013-08-17 Affirmation: I have unlimited power within myself. 
2013-08-16 Affirmation: I am a cool chick.
2013-08-16 Affirmation: I am worthy of friendship for I have shown myself to be a good friend. 2013-08-15 Affirmation: Constant repetition carries conviction. --Robert Collier
2013-08-15 Affirmation: I believe love really does conquer all because I have power.
2013-08-15 Affirmation: I choose not to follow the crowd and be myself.
2013-08-14 Affirmations;I accept myself deeply and completely
2013-08-14 Affirmation:I have limitless confidence in my abilities
2013-08-14 Affirmation:I am a good person who deserves to be happy
2013-08-13 Affirmation: I am a unique child of this world.
2013-08-13 Affirmation: I can be healed.
2013-08-12 Affirmation:I have discipline, thus I am disciplined in all that I do.
2013-08-12 Affirmation: You will be a failure, until you impress the subconscious with the conviction you are a success.  I am not a failure.
2013-08-11 Affirmation:  my potential to succeed is infinite.
2013-08-11 Affirmation: I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today. 2013-08-10 Affirmation: I trust myself.
2013-08-10 Affirmation: I love and approve of myself.
2013-08-09 Affirmation: I love healthy, energizing foods.
2013-08-09     Affirmation:I can feel myself getting healthier and happier with each passing day. 2013-08-09 Affirmation: Squeeze the juice out of every moment of every day. Let it be filled with delight, joy, love, and good humor.Loretta Larouche
2013-08-08   Affirmation: Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings I've been given.
2013-08-08    Affirmation:I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions."
2013-08-07 Affirmation: I have a good heart because I am generous to a fault.
2013-08-07 Affirmation:  I am a hero to those around me because I care about them all.
2013-08-06 Affirmation: I care about the world and the people in it.
2013-08-06 Affirmation:  Jesus loves me.  Therefore, I am loved.
2013-08-05 Affirmation:  Today I am at peace...Louise L. Hay
2013-08-04 Affirmation:  Salvation belongs to the Lord, and Jesus saved me.  Hallelujah!
2013-08-04 Affirmation:  I shall, and do, live by faith.
2013-08-03 Affirmation: I, like all of us, are worthy of love.
2013-08-03 Affirmation:  I am considered a sweet and caring person.
2013-08-02 Affirmation:  I am fierce.  I am brave.
2013-08-02 Affirmation: I know that I am worth it.
2013-08-02 Affirmation: I believe that my life is worth living.
2013-08-01 Affirmation: I am courageous and I stand up for myself.
2013-08-01 Affirmation: I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.