Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Obsessive thoughts about race and racism

I spent a part of the afternoon trying to ignore thoughts and dealing with the thoughts about racism.  I am obsessed, not fixated, but obsessed with race, and it shows on my posts.  I am a person who does indeed have strong views about race and racism.  How much does it tie into classism?  Who is the racist here?  Am I the racist?  I don't think I myself am a racist but I realize that I choose to embrace the fact that I am not a racist, nor do I believe that I have racist tendencies.  I hope that I don't.  I believe that it all started with doing a genealogical search years back.  I found some interesting information about my family history and I didn't realize that that could have stopped it.  Then there was something I was watching on a talk show and they were talking about race and then I realize something then.  I had bothersome thoughts about racism even then.  I have had those thoughts for years.  I wonder about that.  I know it exists and sadly it is alive and well.  I don't think it will end until Jesus comes back.  I wish that we could all love and respect one another by the content of their character.  A lot my forum posts are about race and it hit me.  I have others that I wish to address, like politics, gardening, sports, and even know about money and cars.  I know that there is more to all of us, myself included, than the color of my skin.  I don't know or think that race should be a way to define who we all are whether it be talent or intelligence.  We are all humans with some talent and some intelligence.  I have wondered why I have thoughts about race and racism.  Just like the infidelity thoughts about infidelity, I choose to not be anxious.  I choose to embrace it.  I know I am not a racist.

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