Thursday, June 29, 2017

Could it be?

I am still struggling.  I will hopefully be okay.  Right now, I just fell out and my muscles jerked.  I need help.  I jut don't know what to do or who to talk to about this.  I tend to fall asleep at the computer especially.  Could I have narcolepsy?  I have spent a lot of the day asleep.  My hope is that I will get better.  Sometimes I just wonder about a lot of things.  Maybe it is time to stop wondering and time to take action.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

At the moment,

At the moment, I am taking a break.  I hope to make another entry tomorrow.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

4 of the Biggest Barriers in Bipolar Disorder

4 of the Biggest Barriers in Bipolar Disorder By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
~ 3 min read
People with bipolar disorder can face many challenges — from the illness’s fluctuating feelings to its destructive effects on relationships. Below, two experts reveal some of the biggest obstacles and offer strategies to overcome them.

Challenge: Uncontrollability

“Bipolar disorder can feel uncontrollable,” according to Sheri L. Johnson, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California-Berkeley and director of the Cal Mania (CALM) Program. Symptoms, such as mood changes, can seem to appear suddenly and without provocation. And they can diminish daily functioning and ruin relationships, said Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, a psychotherapist and author of The DBT Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder.

Strategies: While bipolar disorder can seem unpredictable, there are often patterns and triggers you can watch out for. And even if you can’t prevent symptoms, you can minimize and manage them.

One way to monitor changes is to keep a mood chart, Van Dijk said. Depending on which chart you use, you can record everything from your mood to the number of hours you slept, your anxiety level, medication compliance and menstrual cycle, she said. (This is a good chart, she said.) For instance, you can anticipate a potential depressive episode if you see that your mood has been progressively sinking in the last few days, Van Dijk said.

Practicing healthy habits is an effective way to lessen the hold emotions have on you. Make it a priority to get enough sleep, going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time, Van Dijk said. Create a calm bedtime routine, avoid substances such as alcohol – which disrupts sleep – and don’t exercise in the evenings, said Johnson, also co-author of Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed.

Sleep deprivation can trigger mania, and “it makes you more susceptible to being controlled by your emotions, such as irritability,” Van Dijk said. On the other hand, sleeping too much can cause lethargy and also reduce your ability to manage emotions, she said.

Exercise helps to reduce depressive symptoms. Eliminating caffeine can reduce irritability and anxiety and improve sleep, Van Dijk said. She suggested cutting out caffeine for two weeks and paying attention to any changes. Some people also find that certain foods exacerbate their mood swings. You can check by cutting out specific foods from your diet, and watching the results, she said.

You also can use a variety of strategies to stave off the negative consequences from your symptoms. For instance, if impulsive spending is a problem, gain control by having a low limit on your credit cards, Johnson said. When you’re experiencing early signs of mania, have someone else hold onto your checks and cards, Johnson said. If you do overspend, return your purchases, she said. You can even ask a friend to go with you, she added.

Full article here

Saturday, June 24, 2017

What happens in the brain of those with bipolar disorder

What happens in the brain of those with bipolar disorder
By Claudia Mosby

A person in the manic phase of bipolar disorder (BPD) may appear full of energy, hedonistic and grandiose. During the depressed state of the illness, that same individual may lack energy, exhibit slower thinking and movement and profound depression.

What happens in the brain of a bipolar individual to produce such extreme swings in states of being?

“It is difficult to think of any illnesses in medicine that present with symptoms that can almost be diametrically opposite in one state (e.g., mania) compared to another state (e.g., depression),” says Husseini K. Manji, MD, FRCPC, a pre-eminent researcher of bipolar disorder and the global therapeutic head for neuroscience at Janssen Research & Development, Pharmaceutical Companies of Johnson & Johnson. Manji also serves on the Scientific Council of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, which awards grants to scientists seeking new treatments and cures for psychiatric disorders.

“These observations were among the first clues to suggest that BPD wasn’t about ‘too much’ or ‘too little’ serotonin or dopamine but rather about synaptic and neural plasticity,” adds Manji. He describes plasticity as the attribute that enables billions of nerve cells in the brain to change and adapt on a millisecond-by-millisecond basis in response to the many inputs continually being received and processed.

“What we’ve learned in the last 10 years is that whether we’re talking about memory, mood or movement, all advanced brain functions involve changes in the ability of synapses to convey information in different brain circuits.

“For a mood disorder like bipolar, the problem resides in the intracellular machinery of signal transmission, machinery that is engaged in both information processing but also in helping nerve cells survive and grow.”

These observations may explain, says Manji, why MRI scans on patients with BPD often reveal “shrinkage” of neurons in specific brain areas. “It‘s very important to emphasize that while there appears to be shrinkage,” he adds, “the neurons themselves are not dead; they are sick.”

He describes healthy neurons as having a profusion of treelike branches that communicate with one another by forming a multitude of synapses, tiny transmission gaps or “communication channels” that join the message-sending and message-receiving neurons between the branches.

“If that branch shrivels up, you lose synaptic contacts,” says Manji. “And how can you expect to have normal nerve-to-nerve communication when that happens?”

Date and Article

Friday, June 23, 2017

"More, More, More" by Joann Rosario

 
This song has always given me comfort, no matter how I am feeling at the moment.  For now, I have come back to earth.  I have spent much of the day disobeying the Lord.  I have eaten food I have no business eating.  I am not someone who likes to binge.  I have been told that it has been the bipolar, but I have a hard time believing that.  There has got to be something deeper, much deeper than that. I have been doing things that I don't wish to do.  I have been in a manic phase from most of the afternoon.  I am glad to have identified the fact that I have been in a manic phase.  The only good thing about a manic phase is the energy.  Okay, there is also the high feeling I get which in turn makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about.  However, there is nothing in the world like being and feeling normal, whatever normal truly means.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Being honest

OMG...

I have a good job of sabotaging myself.  I have a problem with overeating and failing to put all of the food that I have down.  I needed to learn my lesson today, but it seems that I have nothing to put down.  I was depressed last week and now I have come to realize that I am even more depressed. Changes have to be made if I wish to lose weight and spend whatever money I have in order to stay on the program.  As those who read this may know, I am on the Weight Watchers program.  I have every reason to change.  I have read about an actor and other who have died due to complications of diabetes.  As a diabetic, I have come to realize that I need to take this condition more seriously, or I will suffer from complications.  Diabetes can become progressively worse over time; I don't want that to happen to me.   Sadly, it took me just seconds to minutes ago about the seriousness of why I need to eat sensibly, moderately, and healthy. I need to lose weight.  The issue is why?  Why do I make it harder on myself?  I wish I knew the answer to that question.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The truth

I could use some therapy when it comes to what it is shameful.  I am ashamed.  I have eaten foods that have been unhealthy.  I have not been so honest.  Next time, I will be more honest about this.  Honesty is the best policy, no matter how painful.  The truth sometimes hurt.

Friday, June 16, 2017

My confession

I confess that I have bipolar disorder and OCD.  I guess sad at times, but isn't just being in the dumps.  It is a lot more serious. At one time I was suicidal.  That is what depression is like.  I felt like I was going crazy, my self-esteem was lowered, and it was much, much worse than being down in the dumps.  That is what depression is all about.  Thankfully, that is not the state that I am in. 

Then there are times when I get irritated and very manic.  I tend to do things very fast.  My self-esteem is high, and I have no care in the word.  In fact, it feels great during mania.  There is little sleep at night.  However, that could mean a change in the circadian rhythms which would determine a person's individual sleep cycle.  That is not a good thing, so it seems as if mania feels like both a blessing, but it ends up being a curse.

I realize that I have anxiety as well.  Having OCD is not a fun experience. In fact, it is a sad, troublesome, depressing disorder to have.  I have compulsions and obsessions.  I have to realize that while these thought cannot hurt me, my mind says something different at the moment.  Bipolar and anxiety link up.  I figure that is why I have both. disorders.  Well, there isn't much more I could write about what it is like to have these disorders.  Sometimes I feel lonely and other times I don't.  Sometimes I am irritated and other times I don't. It can feel like a dream due to mania, and other times, it can be nightmare due to thoughts that seem real and focus on the worst case scenario, which rarely happens in reality.  It can also be nightmarish performing compulsions while depressed as well.
All I want to do is eat and sleep and feel normal again.  That is what I would want more than anything.                                          

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

You must be born again

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man.

And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Who am I in Christ Jesus?

I have come to realize that I do have OCD.  It is so hard for me to cope at times.  Sometimes I am not so sure if it is the OCD, the enemy lying to me, or if the Lord is calling me, but I have no idea.  I am in fear right now.  More than anything, I want to know who I truly am in Jesus Christ.  I know that Jesus is the only one who can save.  My biggest fear is that I will be left behind.  How can I be a witness to others about a God who I actually might not even know?  It is a scary thought.  That is all I can say for now.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

"War Room" scenes--I just love this movie!

  It's Time to Fight, Elizabeth

  Elizabeth throws the Devil out

  "Lukewarn coffee" scene






"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
I don't know where you are, Devil,
but I know you can hear me.
You have played with my mind
and had your way long enough.
No more.
You are done!
Jesus is the Lord of this house.
And that means there's no place
for you here anymore.
So take your lies, your schemes
and your accusations,
and get out in Jesus' name!
You can't have my marriage.
You can't have my daughter.
And you sure can't have my man.
This house is under new management
and that means you are out!
And another thing.
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,
but that's changing, too.
My joy doesn't come from my friends.
It doesn't come from my job.
It doesn't even come from my husband.
My joy is found in Jesus.
And just in case you forgot,
he has already defeated you.
So go back to Hell where you belong
and leave my family alone.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
I don't know where you are, Devil,
but I know you can hear me.
You have played with my mind
and had your way long enough.
No more.
You are done!
Jesus is the Lord of this house.
And that means there's no place
for you here anymore.
So take your lies, your schemes
and your accusations,
and get out in Jesus' name!
You can't have my marriage.
You can't have my daughter.
And you sure can't have my man.
This house is under new management
and that means you are out!
And another thing.
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,
but that's changing, too.
My joy doesn't come from my friends.
It doesn't come from my job.
It doesn't even come from my husband.
My joy is found in Jesus.
And just in case you forgot,
he has already defeated you.
So go back to Hell where you belong
and leave my family alone.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
I don't know where you are, Devil,
but I know you can hear me.
You have played with my mind
and had your way long enough.
No more.
You are done!
Jesus is the Lord of this house.
And that means there's no place
for you here anymore.
So take your lies, your schemes
and your accusations,
and get out in Jesus' name!
You can't have my marriage.
You can't have my daughter.
And you sure can't have my man.
This house is under new management
and that means you are out!
And another thing.
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,
but that's changing, too.
My joy doesn't come from my friends.
It doesn't come from my job.
It doesn't even come from my husband.
My joy is found in Jesus.
And just in case you forgot,
he has already defeated you.
So go back to Hell where you belong
and leave my family alone.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
I don't know where you are, Devil,
but I know you can hear me.
You have played with my mind
and had your way long enough.
No more.
You are done!
Jesus is the Lord of this house.
And that means there's no place
for you here anymore.
So take your lies, your schemes
and your accusations,
and get out in Jesus' name!
You can't have my marriage.
You can't have my daughter.
And you sure can't have my man.
This house is under new management
and that means you are out!
And another thing.
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,
but that's changing, too.
My joy doesn't come from my friends.
It doesn't come from my job.
It doesn't even come from my husband.
My joy is found in Jesus.
And just in case you forgot,
he has already defeated you.
So go back to Hell where you belong
and leave my family alone.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"Submit to God.
"Resist the devil,
"and he will flee."
I don't know where you are, Devil,
but I know you can hear me.
You have played with my mind
and had your way long enough.
No more.
You are done!
Jesus is the Lord of this house.
And that means there's no place
for you here anymore.
So take your lies, your schemes
and your accusations,
and get out in Jesus' name!
You can't have my marriage.
You can't have my daughter.
And you sure can't have my man.
This house is under new management
and that means you are out!
And another thing.
I am so sick of you stealing my joy,
but that's changing, too.
My joy doesn't come from my friends.
It doesn't come from my job.
It doesn't even come from my husband.
My joy is found in Jesus.
And just in case you forgot,
he has already defeated you.
So go back to Hell where you belong
and leave my family alone.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=war-room

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

This prayer bears repeating

Lord,

I complain too much.  I don't thank You as much as I should.  I don't pray like I should.  I don't read or study like I should.  Help me and teach me to do what I think or believe is hard.  There have been a lot of things that I thought are hard are actually quite easy.  The solution has always been right there. I am saddened that I did not take the time to actually be consistent enough to put it into action.  Lord, I have been overwhelmed and I still am.  I admit that even now I am still overwhelmed.  I give You my life.  I give You my all.  Forgive me for my sins.  Cleanse me from my unrighteousness.  I don't always express myself the way I desire to.  Lord, I ask for Your wise counsel, and for discernment.  I thank You for answering this request in advance.

In Your name,


Amen

Saturday, June 3, 2017

From recent weeks

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Learning to actually take action

Lord,

I complain too much.  I don't thank You as much as I should.  I don't pray like I should.  I don't read or study like I should.  Help me and teach me to do what I think or believe is hard.  There have been a lot of things that I thought are hard are actually quite easy.  The solution has always been right there. I am saddened that I did not take the time to actually be consistent enough to put it into action.  Lord, I have been overwhelmed and I still am.  I admit that even now I am still overwhelmed.  I give You my life.  I give You my all.  Forgive me for my sins.  Cleanse me from my unrighteousness.  I don't always express myself the way I desire to.  Lord, I ask for Your wise counsel, and for discernment.  I thank You for answering this request in advance.

In Your name,


Amen
 
May 25, 2017
 I think it is shocking and it is sad that the US is so divided even in the "subject" of whose life matter.

I have noticed that there may be a racial division when it comes to what matters especially considering the justice system and corruption. I believe that all lives matter, including black lives aand that we should come together as one with either similar viewpoints, or come to an understanding or agreement on whatever your or my view of this issue. Also, should or would it be wise to agree to disagree on this very issue since I believe that we should focus on not just one life or another.

Yes, black lives DO matter, and I think that is the point of the movement whereas there is corruption and injustice. My video is about I believe the Bible says on this matter. I realize that much of the video with a lot of verses, but I believe that it is also important for us as the Body of Christ to preach the gospel and to realize that we need to open our eyes.

Whether or not one agrees with the content of this video or not, I believe that this division is really sad, and pathetic. What are your thoughts on this video and your thoughts of this division and I think the answer is to be a salt and light to a society where there is division, hatred, and where people live in a culture of death that has I believed have caused many of US to be desensitized? Hopefully, what I have written is the pont of my video. Forgive me for the length of this said explanation.
  

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Simple advice

There is nothing in the world like taking simple advice seriously.  I have realized that in the past that is all I have done.  I have worried about the present more so because I stayed stuck in the past.  I am this and that and the other.  The problem was not really who I am, but I was stuck tn my past.  I am no longer in my 20s and 30s.  Now that I am in my 40s, I have grown older and wiser.  I have learned that as a person in my early 40s, I am young enough, but I am not so young that I cannot learn from the mistakes I have made in the past, not even the more recent past.  All I have is the present moment and plans to make about the rest of my life.  If my current path doesn't pan out, then be thankful for the moment and learn from it.  I have learned that that is all I can do.
 
 

Friday, May 19, 2017

Changing the Past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

 Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna  

Published on July 2011

The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past