Friday, May 6, 2016

Is there an obsession to lose weight?

I wasn't so sure what I was going to write about today.  Every prayer that I have prayed has an answer.  I prayed about my life, including fictional characters.  My prayer is that I didn't ask amiss.  I often write about my health and my prayer.  I am tired of the struggle to lose weight.  I feel that today is a time to be healthy and made whole.  I love fried foods like many people, but I have wondered if it is a good or bad idea to cut out completely fried foods.  I do not eat a healthy diet, but I would like to change my diet.  I have gained weight instead of losing weight.  I have and still am, tired of the struggle.  I am sure if I have been obsessed with my weight, but so I have to pray about and deal with my obsessions.  I feel like my life is filled with obsessive patterns.  Including my weight and lack of activity, I have a desire to change.  What am I waiting for?

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Why Planning Ahead with Bipolar Is Tough

Why Planning Ahead with Bipolar Is Tough
Posted on October 30, 2015 by Natasha Tracy

People with bipolar have a hard time planning ahead. I know it seems like it would be easy: “Want to go to lunch Tuesday?” “Sounds like fun. Sure!” but it isn’t (How To Be Bipolar And High Functioning). And the reason is because bipolar disorder is highly unpredictable. Yes, I might feel fine right now but I literally have no idea what tomorrow will bring (Using Bipolar As An Excuse). This is why planning ahead with bipolar is really tough.

Planning Ahead with Bipolar
As I was recently explaining to a couple of people, if you imagine mood as a spectrum from -3 (not feeling good) to +3 (feeling great) with 0 being something close to average, most people float around a -2 to +2 most of the time, occasionally dipping down or floating up. This makes these people fairly reliable. This means that even if these people aren’t feeling their best, they’re still feeling okay enough to get their day done. It means that if you have lunch planned with them on Tuesday, they will not likely be stopped from showing up by their mood.

Planning ahead with bipolar disorder is tough, but why? Why can't people with bipolar stick to a plan? Here's the answer in a nutshell. Read this.Bipolar, on the other hand, is very different. We live in more of a -10 to +10 kind of a world and where each person hovers is individual. For me, it’s probably a -4 on a decent day. So on my decent days, I still feel worse than the average person does on their very bad days. That’s the joy of bipolar.

Why Planning Ahead with Bipolar is Tough

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Being different

I was listening to No Doubt's "Hella Good" and this video awakened something within me
that I buried.  I am an alternative person who likes cosplay, anime, alternative clothing and design, and listened to music that is outside the norm for a black person.  Yes, I am a black American. I am a woman who wishes that she didn't spend most of her life caring what others think.  That has been what was dragging me down.  Whenever I say "alternative", I mean anything dealing with punk, ska, reggae, rock, goth, metal, and emo.  That fascinates me.  I have always been afraid of being different, but now I want to change that.  I want to be the strong person I could be.  When I was growing up, I didn't just listen to Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.  I also grew up on Ozzie Osbourne, Kiss, Mettalica, and Motley Crue.  I was always different somehow whether it be from other kids, especially other black kids, my family, and nowadays even the rest of the world.  Being different has made me scared because I was afraid of the ridicule and the put downs.  I am a black person who has not voted for Obama.  I listened to a 70s British glam rock band called "Sweet" and I love their music.  This all has me thinking.  I am honest here, now it is finally time for me to be more honest with myself and with the world.  It is time I take a stand.  It is time to be free.  It is time I would be myself.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Repeating what I listen to

 "Hella Good" by No Doubt

I have a tendency to play a song for a while.  Sometimes I promise myself that I will play something else only to play the same song over and over again.  I wonder if that is obsessive or just normal.  Anyways, this is one of many songs that I love listening to that keeps me mindful.  I need to be more conscious of my surroundings.  I know that my thoughts are not based on my reality, but they are real.  They seem real at the time because they exist.  I will always have thoughts and I have to accept the fact that I may always have these thoughts as scary as that may sound.  I don't like it, but I have to learn to deal with it.  If I could get over many obsessions that I have had then I could deal with this large topic of infidelity.  It is as if I have allowed it to get bigger and bigger and more complicated.  However, having OCD has taught me to appreciate God and myself.  I have become a stronger person as a result.  I never thought that would happen.  I believe that honesty is truly the best policy.  I have come to realize that being honest is a whole lot better than living in deception.  I am feeling so much better now.