Friday, September 30, 2016

Adultery is forgivable

Hosea 3:1-5
The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels[a] of silver and about a homer and a lethek[b] of barley. 3 Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”

4 For the Israelites will live many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without ephod or household gods. 5 Afterward the Israelites will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the Lord and to his blessings in the last days.

John 8:3-11
3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

*** I have read through these virgins time and time and time again.  I have come to realize that even those who have committed the grievous sin of adultery can be forgiven.  I find that adultery is about a selfish, hurtful, act or acts which are dishonest and show a lack of regard.  I realize that this is true that I have become a hypocrite.  I can not and will not excuse infidelity.  However, my views are and have been filled with hypocrisy.  I had to struggle with those views and I still do struggle with those views.  I still struggle with fears.  Much of all, I have struggles with negative images and my own infidelity.  You see, I have cheated on The Lord, The Great I AM.  I am not a bad person, but cheating is not a good thing, thus making me a not so good person.  I realize that and I have to accept that I have OCD and will probably perform compulsions and hopefully one day will not be annoyed with those thought, images, and views.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

I'm On My Way by Take 6



I'm on my way to Canaan land
I'm on my way to Canaan land
I'm on my way to the Canaan land
I'm on my way to Canaan land
I'm on my way

If my mother don't go I'll journey on
If she don't go I'll journey on
If my father don't go I'll journey on
If he don't go I'll journey on
(And on)

I'm on my way to Canaan land
I'm on my way
(On my way)
To Canaan land
(Lord)

I'm on my way to the Canaan land
I'm on my way to Canaan land
I'm on my way

If you don't go to the Canaan land
Don't hinder me
(I just gotta make it in)
I'm on my way

I'm on my way to the Canaan land

I'm on my way to Canaan land
If you don't go
(Don't hinder me)

I'll journey on
I'm on my way to Canaan land
(Ooh)
If you don't go I'll journey on to Canaan land
I'm on my way

Si tu no vas apartate
Si tu no vas you seguire
Si tu no vas a Canaan
Camino voy

Se voce nao for, saia da frente
Se voce nao for, vou continuar
Se voce nao for a Canaa
Eu vou pra la

If you don't go don't hinder me
If you don't go I'll journey on and on
If you don't go to Canaan land
I'm on my way

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

"Royals" by Lorde as sung by Pentatonix


I've never seen a diamond in the flesh
I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies
And I'm not proud of my address,
In a torn-up town, no postcode envy
But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece.
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair.
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.
My friends and I—we've cracked the code.
We count our dollars on the train to the party.
And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this,
We didn't come from money.
But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom.
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece.
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.
Ooh ooh oh
We're bigger than we ever dreamed,
And I'm in love with being queen.
Ooh ooh oh
Life is great without a care
We aren't caught up in your love affair.
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Prayer is indeed a powerful weapon

Ephesians 6:18
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Philippians 4:4-8
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Matthew 7:7-12
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Revelation 3:20
20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

John 4:21-24
21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Acts 13:38
“Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.

Psalm 116:4
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me!”

Lamentation 3:55-56
55 I called on your name, Lord,
    from the depths of the pit.
56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
    to my cry for relief.”

Joel 2:32
32 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved;

Matthew 6:5-15
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

9 “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.’
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Feeling great today

I don't have as many obsessive thought as I once had.  I am doing well.  Writing a journal is about being oneself and being true.  It took me a while to realize this.  I am doing so much better today.  I am sleepy right now, however.  I will be okay.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive

10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive
by Loran Hills

Here are 10 tips to get started:
1. Start writing about where you are in your life at this moment.
Describe your living situation, your work, and your relationships. Are you right where you want to be?
2. For five to ten minutes just start writing in a “stream of consciousness.”
Don’t edit your thoughts or feelings and don’t correct your grammar. Don’t censor your thoughts.
3. Start a dialogue with your inner child by writing in your subdominant hand.
Answer with your dominant hand. What issues emerge?
4. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by maintaining a daily list of things you appreciate, including uplifting quotes.
Keep it in one journal or in a separate section so that you can read through it all at once. When you feel down you can read through it for a boost of gratitude and happiness.
5. Start a journal of self-portraits.
You can take pictures, draw colors or shapes or collage images. Learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are today.
6. Keep a nature diary to connect with the natural world.
The world we live in is a magical and mysterious place. Record the things you notice about the sky, the weather, and the seasons.
7. Maintain a log of successes.
Begin by writing the big ones you remember then regularly jot down small successes that occur during the week. As you pay attention, your list will grow and inspire you.
8. Keep a log or playlist of your favorite songs.
Write about the moods they evoke. When you hear a song that triggers a strong memory, write down how you feel and explore that time and space of your life.
9. If there’s something you are struggling with or an event that’s disturbing you, write about it in the third person.
This will give you distance and provide a new perspective. Write down what you learned about yourself.
10. Develop your intuition.
Write down questions or concerns then take a deep breath and listen for a response from your Higher Self.  Let yourself write automatically. If you don’t get an answer right away, look for signs during the day.
We all have dark days, black moods, and anxious feelings. Use writing in a journal to explore the darkness. You will find your inner light when you do.

From source: TinyBuddha.com

Friday, September 23, 2016

"Harlem," by Langston Hughes (RIP)

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up
      like a raisin in the sun?
      Or fester like a sore—
      And then run?
      Does it stink like rotten meat?
      Or crust and sugar over— s
      like a syrupy sweet?

      Maybe it just sags
      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

I wonder what that means.  I know that there was a play called "A Raisin in the Sun" written by the late Lorraine Hansberry.  It was about a black family who was struggling during the racial climate of the 1960s. It was however debuted in 1959, so my timing is off.  I only watched the film and another modern adaptation.  The family ends up moving, but they have their concerns of course, for they were uncertain.  I believe that it was about being black in America at the time Langston Hughes wrote his poem.  He, James Baldwin, and Richard Wright are excellent writers who I highly recommend.  I realize that what is going on nowadays is an example of things staying the same as always.  The dreams of many of us as black people are still deferred.  There is a lot of tension right now, and I pray for a solution or solutions to all of this anger and tension.  I like the last part about the explosion..that is what today's articles in mass media are all about.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

"Rolling in the Deep" by Adele



There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
[Clean version:] Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
[Explicit version:] Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
But you played it, with a beating
Throw your soul through every open door (woah)
Count your blessings to find what you look for (woah)
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold (woah)
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (woah)
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

"The Redemption" excerpt

A year later, Joy and Richard give birth to a boy named Manuel who looks like Richard.
Three years go by. Richard is always working and Joy grows increasingly unhappy. She
feels alone and taken for granted. She meets another man and they become friends.
Overtime, they grow closer and the affair begins. Joy begins to feel guilty about the
affair and Joy discovers that she is pregnant Richard does not know of this affair since
Joy covered her tracks. They give birth to a daughter, Lauren, but the child turns out not
to be his, but the other man's. Richard does not notice right away, but Joy notices.

She notices that Lauren doesn't have any of the same features as any member of Richard's
family, but the other man. Over time, Richard begins to suspect that the baby is not his
and they argue about Joy's possible infidelity. Despite Joy's denial, he does not believe
her, saying that Lauren looks exactly like her and that she is hurt that Richard does not
believe her. She wonders if anyone, such as his mother have anything to do with it,
which angers Richard. His mother has told him that she was the wrong woman for him.
She has given Joy the benefit of the doubt, but she never cared for her. Despite her
feelings, Richard tells his mother to stay out of it.

Over time, the couple grows apart. Joy meets another man and has affair. She feels
overwhelmed, but is hurt that Richard would not believe her lies. (Who can blame him?).
They grow closer and closer to the point where Joy believes that she is having a
relationship with this second man. They even sleep together at her house while he is
away. This time, she is caught in bed with this other man. Richard pulls out a gun and
the housekeeper calls the police, who arrests him. Joy files a report stating the fact that a
gun is pulled out on her and that he is crazy. The cops blocks him from hitting his wife
and he is taken off to jail to cool off. Once out of jail, Richard puts Joy out of the house.

Monday, September 19, 2016

"The Obsession"...excerpt

Jennifer is adventurous, fun loving, studious, spirited, charming, and engaging,
but not always in a good way. She can strike up a conversation with anyone.
But that can often get her into trouble in her family life as she has had numerous
affairs with some of the men in her troubled love life. She looks for the perfect
even though it seems she has the perfect life. She always marries the good guy,
but looks for the fantasy. She is addicted to love. She is addicted to fantasy.
She is addicted to perfection.

Her first marriage was at only 18 years old to a man named Ricky Garcia. The
marriage lasted only four years. They had three children: a daughter named
Daisy and twin girls Lea and Ruthie. The marriage was not a happy one. Both
had affairs and Ricky often drank to excess with his pals. Because of this and
the fact that they married young, there was friction between the couple and they
eventually divorce. Jennifer was not really in love with Ricky; he was just a guy
who she had a crush on and was obsessed with. Sadly, Jennifer is clueless as
to what true love means. She is addicted to love. She has tasted of love, but
never digested it. She falls and falls for men, but is seems the love is often
unrequited. Jennifer took the divorce hard and struggled to make ends meet to
take care of her three girls. But despite her obsessions, she somehow managed
to be a good mother or at least raise the girls to the best of her ability.

She worked many jobs including cashier, librarian, and waiting tables.
Sometimes, she worked more than one job at a time, but writing was her
passion. At work she would fantasize about the bad boy riding on his
motorcycle, the muscular hunk with the tossled blonde hair, and the handsome
athlete with the million dollar smile. Jennifer wanted to write about these people
and make a good living, to have a better life for herself and her daughters, not
wait tables, or punch cash registers forever. She wanted to have her books
published and one day she wanted to make something out of herself. She
wanted to be somebody. Jennifer Delgado was a dreamer most of all.

She met a handsome ITT student named Antonio Sullivan, or Tony for short. In
hindsight, which was 50/50, there have been red flags about THAT union from
the start as Jennifer Delgado, ever the dreamer, never stopped dreaming about
that perfect union. Fast forward a couple of years and Tony became a Software
Technician who owned his own firm and Jennifer Delgado-Sullivan finally made
her dreams come true. At first the marriage was part of the dream life Jennifer
always wanted. Her life was the enviable life she always wanted. Life could not
be any better. Over time, Jennifer began to grow bored with her husband and
carried on affairs with other men, hoping to find that proverbial soul mate. She
wanted to find that one true love only to be disappointed.

She "met" a man named Paolo Serreti, an Italian actor with striking good looks,a
lean, muscular body and thick, wavy flaxen hair. He was certainly a gorgeous
man and could melt any woman's heart, but Jennifer, it seemed, was the object
of his affections.
"We had a whirlwind romance. We wined and dined until the wee hours of the
morning..."
It was all in Jennifer's mind. It was just a thought, and a rather silly one at that.
She and her husband had not wined and dined like that in a while. Reality kicked
in, and needless to say, Jennifer doesn't deal with reality well. Jennifer over time
was beginning to neglect her marriage and began to neglect her daughters.
Ironically, her work did not suffer as the books she published were about
fantasies that she wish were a part of her life. Her fantasies over times further
began to rule over her until there was no point of return for her marriage.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Jesus WILL return


I realize that I take too much time worrying about what to watch in terms of secular entertainment. I read back and reflected on some of my thoughts.  I realize that it is annoying that I have thoughts of the same thing over and over.  I feel like I have often been led by something that is not godly.  That was a sign of what I need and don't need to do.  I spent so much time being led by something else that I didn't realize what was really happening.  It was leading me to compulsions and thus contribute to avoidance.  I realize that life is not a fairytale, though at times I wish it were.  But reality in this world will not in my belief, last much longer.  If only I knew.  No movie or tv show will allow me to not think about the realities of this time and in the near future.  That is a real life film that I would like to star in.

Friday, September 16, 2016

"Brand New Me" by Alicia Keys


It's been a while
I'm not who I was before
You look surprised
Your words don't burn me anymore
Been meanin' to tell ya
But I guess it's clear to see
Don't be mad
It's just a brand new kinda me
Can't be bad
I found a brand new kinda free

Careful with your ego
He's the one that we should blame
Had to grab my heart back
God knows something had to change
I thought that you'd be happy
I found the one thing I need
Why you mad?
It's just a brand new kinda me
[another version has some additinal lines:
"Never bad
I found a brand new kinda free.
Ooh..."]

[one version:] It took a long, long time to get here
[another version:] It took a long, long road to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
It took one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don't be surprised, don't be surprised

[one version:] If I talk a little louder
[another version:] If I walk a little taller
If I speak up when you're wrong
If I walk a little taller
I've been under you too long
If you notice that I'm different
Don't take it personally
Don't be mad
It's just a brand new kinda me
[another version doesn't have these additinal lines:
"That ain't bad
I found a brand new kinda free."]

Ooh, it took a long, long road to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
I've taken one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don't be surprised, oh, said, you look surprised

Hey, if you were a friend
You'd wanna get to know me again
If you were worth the while
You'd be happy to see me smile
I'm not expecting sorry
I'm too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah

I don't need your opinion
I'm not waiting for your "OK"
I'll never be perfect,
But at least now I'm brave
I know my heart is open
I can finally breathe
Don't be mad
It's just a brand new kinda free
That ain't bad
I found a brand new kinda me
Don't be mad
[one version:] It's a brand new time for me
[another version:] It's just a brand new time for me




Wednesday, September 14, 2016

My obsessions about race..frankly, it is annoying

In the last post, I wrote about my obsession with race, racism, and how social status relates to the concept of race.  When I go on forums, it is as if I am almost an expert despite my life history.  I haven't personally had my share of dealing with racism on a person level.  However, I am not stupid enough to know that there is still racism out there and there are people who do see people in a negative light.  I have had this obsession with this issue for a long time.  Why is that?  I do have opinions on more things than racism.  It is quite annoying at worst.  My desire is to change all that. I would like to know how to change all of that.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

I am not ashamed of being more Christian than Black.

This past weekend, I have been reading passages of this book by Kimberley Cash Tate.  She is an author who is not ashamed for Jesus Christ.  She wrote this book called "More Christian Than African American".  I highly recommend this book, so far.  It is about a young woman who admitted that her identity was shaped by our heritage as black Americans.  She later got saved and her views on race have been transformed.

Why have I written this today of all days?  I have had obsessive thoughts about race, racism, and social class and social status as it relates to the issue of race.  My obsession became one about how black people are being viewed and how we have been treated during the eons of time.  Black people just like the rest of us have made mark after mark and contributed to the human race just like all others.

Christianity is not a white man's religion nor is it a black man's religion.  The Bible is not and should never be about professing Christian believers taking apart scripture to justify ungodly positions.  That is what I believed happened to our African ancestors, who came to various parts of the continent. I read that the slaves saw through the deception of the European masters.  Christianity in the black American community is a mix of African and European beliefs.  America is the land of a mixing or races, and cultures from Africa, Europe, Asia, and the American indigenous.

The first Christians came in a variety of shades, including black Africans and Semites from Israel. The first Christians were blacks, Semites, and Persians among others.  I believe that while our black ancestors were exposed to Christianity, it was a Semite who baptized an Ethiopian eunuch and Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament was a Jew who risked his life and freedom to spread Christianity to the Europeans.  Christianity was first a Middle Eastern, African, and Central Asian religion as Persians (or rather Parthians, Elamites, and Medes) and Arabs were among the believers who received the Holy Spirit in Acts 2. Correct me if I am wrong, but all that I have written so far are based on biblical and historical fact.

I have had thoughts about this for a while and even thought by some Christianity is a white man's religion, Jesus Christ suffered for all of us, Semite, African, Asian, Central Asian, or European.  That is the truth.  I myself consider being a Christian more than black American is the way to describe me. Christianity is not a black man's religion or a white man's religion, or an Asian man's religion either. It is so sad that we as believers in Christ would allow lies to be spread about Christianity (namely Jesus), live lives contrary to the word while being unrepentant, or allow ourselves to be divided.

I wish I had more thoughts about that.  I also realize that the truth does indeed set one free.  I finally find myself reveling over my thoughts and feeling anger and even "hatred" and doing nothing about it.  I am so glad that I finally expressed my views on Christianity as it truly is. Jesus doesn't see color the way man does, but the Holy Trinity made me, a black person, in His image and in his likeness. It was annoying to have these thoughts about race and racism yet I did nothing to learn the truth or live what is true for myself.  I am not ashamed of my heritage, but I am not ashamed of being a child of the Lord and a joint-heir to my Judge, Jesus Christ.  

Monday, September 12, 2016

"Oops!..I Did It Again" by Britney Spears


"Oops! ...I Did It Again"

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

[CHORUS:]
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

[Repeat CHORUS]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

** This song, as well as a lot of other songs, have relaxed me.  It was and still is, a major distraction.  I recall when I first had these obsessive thoughts, it improved my mood.  There were times when I felt so alone.  I was the only person who knows of who has it until I went online.  There are many others who may have felt the same way.  I don't know of anyone else who had this condition.  It was so bad.  I felt much better as this song was playing.**

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Grateful for God's Conviction

I didn't realize how hypocritical and judgmental I try was.  It didn't feel good.  I feel so much better about God correcting me.  I was convicted for how I was dealing with adulterous wives and with obsessive thoughts.  I realize that we are all in need of forgiveness, no matter how great the sin.  No matter if she was promiscuous or not, Jesus forgave the adulterous.  Go, leave your life of sin. It means to repent for one's sin and to not stay on that course but to become a new creation.  I realize that the message God is telling me.  I thank You, Lord.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Fact versus fiction

I am thankful that I have obsessive compulsive disorder.  In fact, I am starting to understand the difference between what is fact and what is fiction.  Adulterers and adultery is a sin, but there is a God who is about salvation, love, and forgiveness.  I had a hard time explaining that, but He saves those who have done even what the world considers the worst of sinners like prostitutes, murderers, and adulterers.  I am trying to explain, but to me, it has been so hard to express myself.  I finally see that what is in my head is not always in my heart.  I have read and understood adulteresses such as Gomer and the adulteress in John 8.  It takes a hard heart to not show mercy and not lead a sinner to repent.  It takes a hypocrite to judge and not learn their lessons on their own. Let us take the motes out of their eyes.  Let us not take the time to judge others when we have have our own sins. Hypocrisy is also a sin, just like adultery is.