Tuesday, February 14, 2017

I wonder this

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo, is it possible to find someone so attractive that they have been running through your mind all day?  I have hobbies like watching videos, anime, drawing, and other stuff, so I do have a life.  However, I feel so weird asking that question but I have a crush or two and the person has been on my mind all day.  They are so good looking and I want to meet them.  Is that weird to want to just say hello without feeling guilty?  Or should I leave them alone?  Can a person over 18 have a crush or two on someone?


Monday, February 13, 2017

Manic high

Right now, I am at a standstill.  Well, it does seem to at least be that way.  I am just writing stuff to make myself sound wiser than I really do.  I am at a manic high.  I have my moments of leveling off, but now, I am high yet I am functioning.  I am someone who is and hopefully will be okay.  Right now, I am just overwhelmed.  It is quite difficult to be calm and stay calm.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

How to Free Yourself From Obsessive Thoughts

How to Free Yourself From Obsessive Thoughts
Do you want freedom from compulsively thinking about something – or someone? These tips on how to free yourself from obsessive thoughts are inspired by a reader’s comment, and by my own recent discoveries.

How to Free Yourself From Obsessive Thoughts In Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back, Milton Cudney and Robert E. Hardy teach readers that, with each new moment, you have the ability to make a choice for either a self-defeating or self-enhancing behavior. You CAN find peace with this book – it’s a guide to freeing ourselves from the inappropriate and crippling behaviors that sabotage our success.

Learning the most effective ways to free yourself from obsessive thoughts depends on several factors: your personality, psychological makeup, lifestyle, worldview, spiritual orientation, and even your genetics. You’ll never find a quick and easy “formula” for freedom from obsessively thinking about your ex or something else in your life. These are the things that worked for me, when I found myself obsessing about an unhealthy breakup in my life. They may work for you – or you may need to try other ways to free yourself from an obsession.

How to Free Yourself From Obsessive Thoughts

“I am obsessed over this man,” says a reader who needs ways to heal a broken heart. “I find myself driving past his house. I even found out who the woman was and went to see what she looked like. I have gone out on a few dates, but I find my thoughts floating back to him. Please give me some advice on how to get past him.”

My tips on freeing yourself from obsessively thinking about your ex – or anything in life that is dragging you down – are inspired by my relationship with God.

Find a “replacement” for your obsession

Simply searching for the best tips on how to free yourself from obsessive thoughts won’t work. What you need is something to replace your negative thought patterns with. Something to fill the emptiness inside, to help you see that there is more to life than your relationship with your ex. The breakup was sad and painful, but it wasn’t the only thing in your life! If you have nothing to cling to – other than the thing you’re obsessively thinking about – then you’ll never be free from your obsessive thoughts.

Seek healing

It’s so tempting to dwell in your obsessive thoughts, to stay mired in the muck of the past! I know how you feel; I wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love because I needed to learn how to free myself from obsessive thoughts about a bad family relationship. I interviewed several counselors, psychologists, and life coaches about how to find freedom, and learned many cognitive-behavioral and emotional techniques for healing from the past. But they didn’t really work, because the root of the problem was still there.

Full article here

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

5 Ways to Stop Your Racing Thoughts

5 Ways to Stop Your Racing Thoughts
1. Remember that the worst-case scenario probably won't come to pass.
Posted Apr 18, 2016

by Patricia Harteneck, Ph.D.

Racing thoughts—fast, repetitive thought patterns about a particular topic—are a common feature of anxiety and other mental-health disorders. But they can happen any time you are in an anxious or stressed state, even if you are not experiencing other symptoms.

Racing thoughts may be replays of past events which generated anxiety or sadness for you. They may also be worries about things that could happen in the future. They are strings of thoughts that are blown out of proportion, have a pattern, consume time, and often have no rational conclusion.

They can look like this:

"I always forget what I have to do. I'm so stupid. If I don't remember everything, I'll get fired. I don't know what I'll do if that happens. I should have taken that job I was offered six months ago. If I lose my job, I won't have any money. I need to work longer hours to keep this job. That just makes me more depressed. I'm so miserable. What am I going to do?"

When thoughts like these flood your mind, they drain your energy, stop you from living in the present moment, and can create a loop in your brain that feels difficult to escape. They can also make it harder to concentrate and accomplish daily tasks, and impair your memory and sleep.

Having racing thoughts is often disturbing and frightening because it creates a sense of being out of control. But having racing thoughts does not mean you're out of control or crazy. It does mean that you are anxious and that your stress level is higher than usual.

Here are some ways you can work to calm your mind and stop racing thoughts:

1. Use cognitive distancing.

Our mind usually worries about things it is convinced are true but, most of the time, are actually not true. You can balance your mind's tendency to predict the worst outcome by coming up with positive alternative scenarios. For instance, your spouse seems distant and is sending out a lot of emails. You decide he must be having an affair. An alternative scenario: He is working extra hard on a project. Analyze what's most likely to happen. Most of the time, the worst-case scenario your brain comes up with is not the most likely one.

2. Use a mantra.

A mantra is just a simple phrase or word that you repeat to calm your mind. Research has shown that repeating a mantra reduces activity in the part of your brain that is responsible for self-judgment and reflection. This is the part of the brain that spends so much time rehashing the past and worrying about the future. You can use any word, sound, or saying you want. You could try something like, "Om," "Life is good," or "Everything is OK." Repeat your phrase over and over, focusing your thoughts only on your mantra. If your mind wanders, return to your mantra. You can practice this almost anytime, even going around the supermarket or on your commute home from work.

Link of full article

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

How to overcome a crush (even if one doesn't want to)

Let your emotions out. If you want to forget your crush, then the first thing you have to do is to admit that you have strong feelings for this person. If you’re in denial about how much your crush means to you, then you’ll just keep all of those intense feelings inside instead of letting them go. Take the time to cry, to talk to a close friend about it, to admit how much you’ve been hurt, and to acknowledge your feelings.

Forget your anger and bitterness. You may have many reasons for feeling angry or bitter. Maybe your crush really hurt you. Maybe you were so sure things would work out and they didn’t. Maybe your crush ended up dating one of your friends and you’re feeling mad at both of them. These feelings will naturally accompany the situation you’re in, but that doesn’t mean that they are healthy or that they can help you move on.
Write down all of the reasons why you’re feeling angry and bitter. Acknowledging your pain is crucial to forgetting it. Once you’ve figured out where all of your negative feelings are coming from, you can begin to tackle them, one by one.
If you come in contact with your crush, don’t let them see how angry or bitter you may be feeling. The best thing you can do is act completely indifferent, like you could care less about what your crush is up to. If you keep faking indifference, you’ll be surprised by how quickly you’ll really start to feel it.

Forget your anger and bitterness. You may have many reasons for feeling angry or bitter. Maybe your crush really hurt you. Maybe you were so sure things would work out and they didn’t. Maybe your crush ended up dating one of your friends and you’re feeling mad at both of them. These feelings will naturally accompany the situation you’re in, but that doesn’t mean that they are healthy or that they can help you move on.
Write down all of the reasons why you’re feeling angry and bitter. Acknowledging your pain is crucial to forgetting it. Once you’ve figured out where all of your negative feelings are coming from, you can begin to tackle them, one by one.
If you come in contact with your crush, don’t let them see how angry or bitter you may be feeling. The best thing you can do is act completely indifferent, like you could care less about what your crush is up to. If you keep faking indifference, you’ll be surprised by how quickly you’ll really start to feel it.

Know that you deserve better. You may think that you and your crush would be the world’s most perfect couple, but that’s just not the case. If you really belonged together, then it would happen, wouldn’t it? For whatever reason, it didn’t work out between you and your crush, and it’s likely that it’s because you’re simply just too good for them. Your crush is not your soul mate, and once you realize that, you’ll be able to find someone who you do deserve.
Sure, you may have heard all of your friends telling you that you deserve better than your crush over and over again, but this won’t sink in until you realize it for yourself.

Remember how amazing you are. If you’re feeling down in the dumps about things not working out with your crush, then it’s likely that you need to pump yourself up. You probably are feeling down on yourself, and like you’re unworthy in some way because you’re not dating your crush, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. Remember your most amazing qualities, focus on all of the great friends and opportunities in your life, and remember your favorite personality traits. Keep telling yourself that you are an amazing person who only deserves the best – and “the best” simply does not refer to your crush!
Staying positive is key here. If you focus on all of the good things in your life and in your character instead of the things you don’t have, then you’ll be able to move on much faster than you would if you only saw the worst in every situation.

Read full list here.