Saturday, April 30, 2016

My Thoughts about Reparations for slavery in the US...

I always thought it was quite interesting. How does a small percentage of a group enslave an entire race of people? That seems like an impossibility, even with what happened with black people in the US. I am of the assumption is that it is quite impossible to even within a span of 100 years enslave an entire race and that those who are telling this are those with an agenda. Education is most definitely a form of reparations. While the majority of black people were enslaved, there were some who were free. Then there were laws in differing areas of the country, state and federal which over time banned the practice of bringing slaves to the New World, people risking their lives so that they could be free, and some masters even freeing their slaves. Not to mention that for 100 years slavery was legal and it didn't enslave all four million black people. It is so sad that some people think that they need to teach an agenda instead of teaching the truth about slavery. The truth about slavery which isn't often taught in schools, colleges, and universities is bad enough because slavery was bad enough.

I mentioned education being the best reparation, if reparations are to be distributed it out to only black people, because many slaves could not be educated by another person or could they educate themselves dependent upon the state. Slavery was in truth, was a vile, evil business and institution which generally enslaved over 4 million people or so towards the time period of the Civil War, and most of them were black or mixed-race. Also, shouldn't some white people and Native Americans also get some reparations for slavery if we wish to prove that there are people who should be compensated? Here is my point. Reparations will solve absolutely nothing and even if it is doled out in the form of money or an apology, it unfortunately will not turn back the clock. The issue of reparations for slavery is yes, a part of US history, but Arabs, Europeans, Natives, Jews, and Africans were either enslaved or benefited from slavery.

We as Americans only know but so much about slavery and how evil it truly was, especially since there have been so many people with a dishonest historical agenda. Which is the true story, black Americans were a culturally lost people who except in some cases did not resist or were afraid to resist because the white man was all too powerful? Or, could it be that those who were brought here from Africa came from many walks of life, contributed to many aspects of US culture, particularly in the South, and survived insurmountable odds and forged into a new people who after the brutality, horrors, and degradation of enslavement, ended up with black men voting for the very first time, some owning land, becoming full fledged citizens, and despite all of the hardships that came with anti-black racism especially, families and entire communities were formed and came together? Sadly, I have been assuming that the first question is what people in the US are being taught. The second deals with historical facts. While an assimilated people, the Africans that were brought here were hardly lost and there have been instances of uprisings and mutinies on slave ships. The slaves were hardly an ignorant group of Africans. English is about as similar to Mande and Yoruba as German is to Japanese for instance. My point is, it makes no sense that reparations for slavery come in the form of monetary compensation or something else, that Americans cannot just decide for themselves, as in each individual American does not learn the truth about what has happened. What will happen will be even more divisiveness and more victimization.

Friday, April 29, 2016

The Curve of Forgetting


How memory works is not a big mystery.  We can easily remember the ideas, items, and information that we turn our attention to often, and we can quickly forget the ideas, items, and information that we “touch” only once or twice.  This natural forgetfulness of information we touch only once or twice is a quality of a healthy mind--after all, why store information we tell our minds we won’t need?  So the point is simple: We tell our memories what’s important to store by how many times we practice retrieving the information.  The more times we practice—the more times we touch the information--the more permanently the information will be stored.  Before we continue, let’s look at how scientists think memory works: 100 Billion Neurons.

The Curve of Forgetting graph below (originally called The Ebbinghuas Curve after the German philosopher Hermann Ebbinghaus who developed it in 1885) demonstrates how quickly we forget new information we don’t work with repeatedly.  Here’s what the graph demonstrates: Assume that we hear ten new terms in class on Monday.  Our immediate recall, Point A of the graph, is 100%--we can repeat the terms and definitions at the point where we first encounter them.

However, if we do not repeatedly return our attention to these terms and definitions, we will forget about 40% over the first 24 hours (Point B).  If we wait another 24 hours before reviewing the information, we have lost 60% (Point C).   So we can go from a grade of ‘A’ (100%) to ‘D’ (60%), to ‘F’ (40%) in just 48 hours.

The curve of forgetting link

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Since then..

I have finally begun to make some progress.  However, I realize that I have a long way to go in that. I am in need of help.  I realize that I would like to go places.  My social life consist of well, not much. I hate to see my future.  I hope that I will not be a spinster with a cat.  I one day would like to be a wife and mother.  Life is too short for not living life and having some fun at least.  I miss having this kind of life.  I would like to do more for me.  I have had plans, but I never had any idea how to carry them out.  It is time for me to change things, but most of all, it is time to change myself.

Monday, April 25, 2016

My progress or lack thereof

As far as the obsessive thoughts, I have made some progress.  Progress however, have been slow. Progress is well worth it.  However, I felt as it I have convicted to do more for myself.  I feel so alone sometimes. It is time for me to lay off the internet for a while.  That might do me some good.  I realize that I have to let go of what I feel is quite secure.  On the other hand, it has only been a few years.  I have realized that I have allowed the world to pass me by.  I am always one who writes, writes, and continually writes.  What do I want?  What person do I want to be?  Well, I would like to be able to live life.  I have to be honest with myself, even more than now.  I need to not only be convicted but to follow those convictions.  I have come to realize that I succeed by doing what is hardest to me.  I have learned to not allow those thoughts to take over.  It was a long fight that I am winning.  I feel trapped, even at home.  How do I overcome this?  I need a support system starting from You.  I have prayed about this often.  I believe that God wants me to take action, no matter how difficult or how scary.  All I have to do is to follow His leading and take some action.  I have to do this.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

A Lesson I have learned today



I basically woke up this morning to read up on the news that Chyna has died.  Later this afternoon, I was watching the soaps only for Prince's death to be a news story that spans over the world.  Today was such a shocking day for me.  These are two people who I thought will live "forever" at least.  I thought that they would outlive me.  Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston would come to mind.  Life is just a vapor.  It seems that most of us when or how we will leave this planet.   It shamefully is a testimony to the fact that OCD messes with my mind at times.  The thoughts are no longer that important.  The obsessions and compulsions seem to be a thing of the past.  All that matters is that with life,  no matter how boring the day may be, every day counts.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

How I am feeling at the moment.

How do I become proactive?  Being proactive and consistent are two things that I need to work on. I realize that there have been things that I could do to be more proactive and more consistent.  I just don't know how.  I have been dealing with doubts and with hurt feelings and rude words for a long time.  I can't take walking on eggshells at home and not know what to do.  I have anxiety and I don't wish to live like this anymore.  I, in truth, don't know what to do.  I don't even know what to say.  I want my family back to the way it used to be.  We are not as close as we used to be.  I have resigned myself to the fact that I am anxiety-ridden person who needs guidance and who needs to get out of the house more.  I just cannot understand why anxiety is so tough to live sometimes.  I am just being honest.  I have no idea what to do and where to go.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

My own identify

Just do you.

But who am I?

I have written two autobiographies.  I remember the person I was 20 years ago.  What do I want to do?  How should I feel about things?  Maybe my motto was already.  Be like Nike, and "just do it". I have been anything but productive since I started writing about myself.  My autobiographies were about self-reflection.  Maybe they should also be about self-discovery as well.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Frustration on having both obsessive thoughts and compulsions

I have grown tired of being and having been obsession.  I seem to get anxious about the smallest topics such as television. Avoidance has been a big issue of mine  I need to finally break the OCD cycle.  Maybe I wish too much.  I sometimes don't know what to do when it comes to breaking the cycle.  None of my thoughts, at least those thoughts have been pleasing to the Lord.  I am doing better, which is good.  However, I still have the belief that I will never truly get better and overcome the compulsions that the thoughts comes with.  I am feeling better.  I am feeling so much better.  However, I still feel like thoughts thoughts will never go away.  I have no idea why I get bothered by fiction.  Maybe I know the answer and have known the answer for a long time now.  

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Breaking the cycle

I have wondered if I will ever break the cycle of OCD.  Any cycle will do.  Breaking the cycle is the hard part.  Dealing with the thoughts is much easier, at times.  I have learned not to let the thoughts get to me.  It is difficult to "get over"those  compulsions.  It seems to me like every area of my life is a compulsion.  It is time for me to get and be independent.  I finally realize what I need to do with my life, but I have not really gone anywhere, but I would like to.  

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Music and OCD

Right now I am listening to "Cake by the Ocean" by DNCE.  I am not sure which Jonas brother is singing lead.  No matter.  The song is awesome.  If only all songs are this listenable.  Music has been of great help.  I wonder if I need to go outside the box when it comes to the music I listen to.  I mean, what if there are other songs I like that I have not listened to.  It will do me some good as far as coping with the OCD.  I realize that I will always have OCD.  I can for the most part deal with the obsessive thoughts.  Some can be harder than others.  There are things I wish I could deal with, but not only is that unrealistic but also something that I don't wish on anyone.  Mentally, OCD is quite "painful" to deal with.  The compulsions however seem to make the OCD worse.  I can manage it, but letting go of the compulsive can almost be impossible.

Friday, April 15, 2016

A "Frozen" meme

Poor Anna.  I can relate somewhat.  I have been a couponer for a while now.  Yesterday, I finally found a passion of mine.  That is to save money as my passion.  It feels great having to do something else and not go ahead and perform compusions.  However, it can be embarrassing when a cashier tells you, and me, that they cannot accept coupons.  The real issue that I have been having is the fact that I cannot used all of them.  This time, I would like to.  I wish myself luck.

I also wish Anna the same.  By the way, I like the movie "Frozen".  "Let it go...let it go. Can't hold it back anymore..."  Anyways, that song also gives me great comfort.  See, music can do the very same thing as couponing.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

How to Trick Your Brain for Happiness By Rick Hanson | September 26, 2011

his month, we feature videos of a Greater Good presentation by Rick Hanson, the best-selling author and trailblazing psychologist. In this excerpt from his talk, Dr. Hanson explains how we can take advantage of the brain’s natural “plasticity”—it’s ability to change shape over time.

There’s this great line by Ani Tenzin Palmo, an English woman who spent 12 years in a cave in Tibet: “We do not know what a thought is, yet we’re thinking them all the time.”
It’s true. The amount of knowledge we have about the brain has doubled in the last 20 years. Yet there’s still a lot we don’t know.
In recent years, though, we have started to better understand the neural bases of states like happiness, gratitude, resilience, love, compassion, and so forth. And better understanding them means we can skillfully stimulate the neural substrates of those states—which, in turn, means we can strengthen them. Because as the famous saying by the Canadian scientist Donald Hebb goes, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”
Ultimately, what this can mean is that with proper practice, we can increasingly trick our neural machinery to cultivate positive states of mind.
But in order to understand how, you need to understand three important facts about the brain.

How to Trick Your Brain for Happiness full article here..

Monday, April 11, 2016

My take on Romans 12:1-2

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,1 by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.2 Do not be conformed to this world,3 but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.4  

This has been a verse that I have rarely acted on.  I have often failed to take action and that has been the problem.  I am starting to understand more and more on what this verse really means.  I believe that these are verses on a believer who is to no longer live according to the flesh.  I am supposed to take up my cross daily.  That is what it all means.  These verses are quite simple to understand when one sees it that way.  We are to be transformed is not just a physical or spiritual thing, it is a mental thing.  If I were to apply this, then I can see what is true and what is false.  The world is place filled with sin, hatred, revenge, strife, and evil.  We as believers are not to think on those patterns.  We are to think and believe the way Jesus has us to believe.  We are to be spirit-filled and spirit-minded.  Spiritual warfare begins in the mind.  Christians are to be sober minded, compassionate, and slow to anger.  We are to show restraint, kind to others, and have our minds filled with godly thinking.  We are to not be doormats, but to be strong and vigilant.  We have an enemy who wants to destroy or devour us.  With the tools that we have, we can win this.  This world will pass away, but God's Word will not.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Two Ways to Transform Your Thoughts 07/16/2013 05:25 pm ET | Updated Sep 15, 2013 by Steve McSwain

“Our aim in taking the spiritual path,” writes Matthieu Ricard, in his bestseller, Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill“is to transform ourselves,” and we do that, he says, by “transforming our minds.”

Transformation of the mind?

What the Buddhist monk has suggested is not unlike what Saint Paul suggested in his letter to the Romans, “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,” (Romans 12:1-2).

What needs transforming or changing in your mind? Or, more precisely, in your thinking?

...What you think about yourself?
...The thoughts you think about someone else?
...Or, what you think (and how you feel) about life itself?

Much of how we feel about ourselves, others, and even life is the consequence of our thoughts. Which is why Saint Paul, in his letter to the Philippians said, “Think on these things,” and enumerated the things we should intentionally work at thinking on (Philippians 4:8).

And it is work, my friend. Which is why Paul and the monk both say you must make the transformation of your thinking the goal of your spiritual path or practice (Philippians 4:9).

When I coach clients and colleagues I am often asked, “How do I change my thinking?”

Try the following...

1. Know first what it is you are thinking. That is to say, be the observer of your thoughts. I cannot stress more strongly that you are not your thoughts. You are instead, the observer of your thoughts.

Even say this is not exactly true. But it is closer to the truth of who you really are. Train yourself to observe the thoughts that randomly appear in your mind stream. This creates a little separation between you, the real you, and the thoughts you are thinking.

But, that’s just the first thing you must do to transform your thinking.

Read full blog here..

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Reflection of what has been going on lately

Lately I have busy doing fun things.  I still have to overcome how I react to thoughts that are more manageable but still nag at me.  I would like to able to say that I have finally overcome infidelity thoughts but I can't.  Some days are easier than others and I still wish to seek reassurance. Other than that, they don't bother me so much.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Taking a break

I am taking a break tonight.  I am glad to be back and I have been for a while.  

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

I keep myself busy and celebrate alone...poem

I keep myself Busy and Celebrate Alone

To celebrate, you need a crowd
And delight, happiness or a point of pleasure
You need to select the occasion
But without them I keep myself busy
And celebrate alone
In pain or in sorrow you take yourself in
Whereas I know not anything like joy
And take out something even from hurt or wounds
And keep myself busy to celebrate alone

by W&&&B W^^^B


Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Reflections on my health

For the past couple of days or so, I haven't taken care of myself.  Thus, I am feeling the effects.  I have gained some weight over the years and I have had difficulty keeping the weight off.  I will not make any excuses.  I will just be truthful.  I need to get out more.  I am now concerned about my psyche and my health tonight.  I want to know that I can overcome it.  I would like to obtain the skills needed to get healthy, be healthy, and stay healthy.  I am the problem, but how do I fix things?  Most of all, how do I fix me?  I feel like sometimes I have a lot of fixing that I need to do.  I realize that I am and should be a work in progress.  Sometimes I wonder if everything I do is a compulsion.  I now no longer wish or wonder if I were to be obsessive about dolls or some other mundane topic.  I am always afraid and anxious.  I am someone who know that I need to change.  I just am clueless as to go out about it.  Maybe it is time to let that kind of thinking go.  It has done me no good.  It is time I do something for me for a change.

Monday, April 4, 2016

I used to obsess over pro-wrestling, but I have grown out of it.

I used to obsess over pro-wrestling, but I have grown out of it.

Until last night.

These chicks are part of the reason why I have fallen in love with pro-wrestling..again.  I missed the best that wrestling and that includes some women.  I have always been a fan of women's wrestling.  As a matter of fact, I created videos about women in pro-wrestling.

 Tribute to WWE Women

 WWE Women Wrestlers

 Tribute to the Women of Impact Wrestling

 Girl Grapplers

 Girl Grapplers 2

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Laughter is the best medicine

Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.

With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.

Laughter is good for your health

Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

Read the full article

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Benefits of comedy

  Steve Harvey, "Judgment Day"

 Sinbad, "Sinbad, Brain Damage"

 Ron White, "I Got Thrown Out of a Bar"

I have learned that as someone who has OCD, laughter, even for a little while, is the best medicine.  The funnier it is, the better.  I know that there is cursing at least one of these videos, but I still find them funny.  Maybe I should listen to more comedians I grew up watching.  I feel like I have missed out of so much.  I don't feel like that anymore.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Sage Stallone

There isn't much I can say or write today, but I will try.  Sage should very well be my obsessive thought.  Just when I think it has faded, it keeps coming back.  I am writing this at the risk of putting some people off.  I remember I was listening to this song by Jaci Velasquez and even then I had a crush on his father Sly Stallone.  Sly looks okay, but I thought he looked better when he was young. He was kind of cute in the first two Rocky movies.  I felt that he didn't need to change his looks, but that is not my business and is not my concern.  He is a grown man who is going to do what he wants to do.  Anyways, about Sage.  It was so random.  It was strange because why would I be obsessed over someone who has passed?  I know that it sounds mean, but sadly, I never got to meet him, much less know him.  By all that I have read, he wasn't just a pretty face.  He, by those accounts, was a nice person. Well, I can't find any tabloid articles of him falling out of vehicles, assaulting someone, or have been in a scandal.  So, could he have been a rare celebrity or someone who was low-key?  The truth is, I will never know.

Why do I have a crush that turned into an obsession with Sage Stallone? I have questioned myself because, well, I realize that I will have theories, but I will never find those answers that I so "seek". The truth is that I have finally realized today that this crush on Sage Stallone is actually similar to an obsessive thought.  I realize that I can still overcome it, but it may take a while.  My obsessive thoughts tend to be about celebrities, other people's opinions, weight, morality, and religion.  Sage Stallone was the cute kid from "Rocky V".  He was also the handsome young man from "Daylight".  I had no clue about the rest of his career until after his death.  If only I have known him.  If only I met him.  I will never know and I will have to see that it doesn't matter.

All I know is that a young man with promise is no longer with us.  I look at his grave and it is quite sobering.  It is so sad because he should be here just like the rest of us.  The same could be said about other people, famous or average everyday citizens, who were loved and respected. His death is quite sad and seemingly quite lonely. I cannot nor do I ever want to imagine leaving this earth alone, or that is how it seems I have to look it up.  I see the look in his eyes and he seemed mostly down, if not a bit sad.  He is one of those people who come across as someone who you would give a hug because he looked so sad.  If only he was around to tell his life's story and continue on with his work.  However, I have to realize that he is no longer with us.  Wow.  It is sad.  Wow.  May he rest in peace.