2/21 I am no longer fearful but I am strong.
2/22 I am a happy person full of life.
2/23 I have the grace of God.
2/24 Lord, I believe in You for I am an honest to goodness person.
2/25 No entry
2/26 I can do it..I am and continue to be the after picture.
2/27 I treat myself right.
2/21 I posted three YouTube videos that are Contemporary Christians such as Out of Eden and Avalon.
2/22 That is the problem. I can only imagine. I am isolated yet I feel isolated from the real world. I want to see an adulterous woman hurt the way she hurt her "loved" one. I felt that the adulterous woman was a bigger fool than an adulterous man. The truth is, I have seemed to hate the deeds and dislike adulterous women for I don't think that they have morals. But that is also what the thoughts say. Why do I feel that way? Will I ever truly know?
2/23 Infidelity is wrong, yes, but I believe that as a woman, I am doing the same thing with the Lord. I don't always read scripture, pray, or spend time with the Lord. I spend my time worrying about what the world thinks of me. I want to be a part of Him. Instead, I want Him to be a part of me. It seems strange but I am trying to say that God should be the center of my life and the Head of my life. Sometimes, I make God my co-pilot instead of giving Him the controls. That is a problem that I need to work with.
2/24 I feel like there is something that is missing. I don't know what it is, but I am wondering what is missing in my life.
2/25 I do complain a lot and I am tempted to complain right now, but I won't.
2/26 Happy Birthday, Erykah Badu posts with videos..
2/27 I believe and find that learning about nature and gardening are quite relaxing, and actually doing it are actually going a long way into one being more productive. There is nothing in the world like being productive.
Food and Diet blog entries
2/21 No entry.
2/22 I hope to eat much better. Eating two hamburgers, and two doughnuts with orange juice do not constitute a healthy diet. I would like to be able to learn from that and apply it to my life. Today, I didn't eat as much, yet I had to learn to do something for myself. Eating or rather, consuming healthy foods is an option yet it doesn't always seem that way. I have no excuses.
2/23 I ate peanuts this evening and an oatmeal creme pie just before that. I wanted to and chose to eat them. I realize that they are both trigger foods. I do indeed eat the wrong kind of foods. So I will need changes, many changes. I realize things don't come easily for me. I have to keep in mind that I have diabetes, high cholesterol, and blood sugar issues. I also have PCOS so there are trigger foods that I am supposed to avoid. There is more than eating so much. There is ridding myself of processed and canned foods, which are difficult to do. I wish to plan my meals, which would be beneficial. However, I tend to eat beyond the limits of what I consume so that is because it will make me hungry. I would like to learn how to eat and when to eat.
2/24 I have to do what I already know. I have to plan my meals in advance. It is urgent that I lose the weight and keep it off. I lost over a pound today. I am just shy under 300 lbs. I wonder what my real goal is. I would like to lose a lot of weight and feel much better. Planning my meals is something that worries me as I can go over and eat more than what is allowed. I feel like it is difficult to do so. However, planning my meals could go a long way into my losing weight.
2/26 No entry
2/27 I am still struggling but I realize that it is my fault. I would like to lose weight and cook healthier foods. Eat fried fatty foods in moderation even will not go towards losing weight if eaten for a period of time. I have PCOS and I knew better. I have to shop for better foods, which would go a long way into eating better. All I have to do is do what is hardest.
Exercise Log entries
2/21 I feel that I need to address my weight issues. I am feeling okay about facing my fears about exercise. I realize that I need to face my fears. How to do that? Only God knows.
2/22 I am scared that I will never learn how to apply my words and knowledge to my daily life. You see, things just don't come easy for me. However, I did do a few lunges and some stretching today. It wasn't much but it was a good start.
2/23 I hope to exercise for at least an hour 2 to three times a week. I know I am unable to exercise on Fridays as I have a morning appointment. I feel like going somewhere and just dance, move, walk, etc. I wish things would come easily for me. I pace and walk slowly, but that is not the exercise that I feel will help me to lose weight. It clears my mind and it isolates me from the world, but it won't tighten my abs or glutes. It won't help me slim my arms or thighs, nor has it always been good for my legs. I want to be able to do what is hard. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to do so.
2/24 I did only five minutes of exercise today but it was more strenuous than it should have been. Seriously, it was not that strenuous. I just raked yards. I only did that type of work because it was needed. I want to do more, but I am not sure what I need to do as far as far as that goes. I used to love to be active and go to the gym. I hope that I don't have any anxiety to go.
2/25 Yesterday, I didn't do much exercise. I hope that I am even able to do some exercise. Maybe I just need to walk or just move for now.
2/26 Sadly, I didn't do a lot of moving around or do much walking. I realize that even though things don't come easy for me, I have to be the one to do the work.
2/27 Today, I did do some walking, but I have not been feeling well. I have a slight cold and I did my share of resting. I hope that I can feel better so that I can walk some more. I lost some weight today and that has made me smile.