Homework 1/24-2/1

Affirmations
1/24 I am not ignorant of the devil's devices, so I am not blissful or willfully blind.
1/25 I am not jealous, but kind and giving.
1/26 Christ is the center of my world.
1/27 I love music and thus I am a musician at heart.
1/28 I can take care of myself.
1/29 I can be bad all by myself.
1/30 I respect myself.
1/31 I love my beautiful brown skin.
2/1  I love who I am because of what my ancestors have accomplished in life.

Musings
1/24   I am happy today.  I am contemplating about my life.  I am just happy that all is well.  I am fearful of a lot of things.  However, I feel that it was something that I could overcome.  I have allowed fear to dominate my life.  I have OCD and fear and anxiety are part of the equation.  I also have doubt and uncertainty in my life.  There are things that I wanted to write today that I simply forgot.  I am being truthful about this which is what I need.  I need to be less fearful and more truthful to God, myself, and others.  I sometimes lie because I am afraid.  I am afraid that something bad would happen.  Today I believe strongly that I have been forgiven.  I forgive myself for lying to all.  It is time that I would unleash.
1/25 Love is not jealous, but is kind.
Hope is intertwined with faith and love.
Faith is the evidence of things hoped for and the evidence of things that are unseen.

I didn't always understand what it means.  We cannot be believers without hope, faith, and love.  We might as well not even be called a true believer in Christ if we have neither faith, hope, and or love.  Those three just go hand in hand in hand.

1/26 It is better to be grateful.  It makes life worth living.  I admit that I complain too much.  I really do.  Rarely do I take the time to be grateful.  That is to my great shame.  Here are a list of things as far as my weight loss journey that I am grateful for or rather, are my strengths.

1. Lost a few pounds in the first few weeks.
2. Knowledge about eating in moderation.
3. Learning how to follow a schedule.
4. Affirming myself daily.
1/27 "Danca la Solidao" is a song that is quite beautiful.  It makes me want to learn Portuguese all over again.  Marisa Monte is one of my favorite artists.
1/28 Why do I really want to lose weight?  What are my motivations?  Do I really want to lose weight?  How motivated am I?  What do I want?
1/29 I have no clue what kind of person he or she is, but it seems that we are so quick to judge celebrities in a society where many profess Christ. Notice I only wrote profess. Is it ever okay to condemn a celebrity? In other words, why do so many people say "I don't like (fill in the blanks)" or "I hate (fill in the blanks)" even if they don't know the celebrity. The chances of meeting them are slim to none. On the opposite side of the coin, we have people who seem to "worship" the ground the celebrities walk on. I assume that it has always been this way.
1/30 These stories and this paragraph is connected to what I have written last night. I need to read up my thoughts and change my reaction to these thoughts and have a different opinion on these scenarios. I need to move and know how to move forward. If it means to be anxious and feel fear every once in a while, then so be it.
1/31 "Let's Go All the Way" by Sly Fox takes me back to a nostalgic era.
2/1  I am in a world where it is easy to be fearful and avoid what is so fearful.  Being too comfortable involves avoiding what is tormenting us but we all have to face our fears.  Fear after all, is false evidence that appears real. 

Food and Diet Blog Entries
1/24 I overate today.  There is always tomorrow.  I alone made that choice and I hope to never do it again.  Weight Watchers has taught me many things so far, such as how to eat and what to eat.  I am thankful to God that now I am not frustrated and on Weight Watchers.
1/25 Right now, I just finished eating bread.  I realize that this is a lesson.  If I am going to spend money on a program, the least I could do is not to overeat.  I am 14 points so far below the point average.  I obviously take full responsibility for what I have done.  I don't feel bad.  However, like I mentioned earlier, it is still a lesson well learned.
1/26 I just think complaining has brought me down.  It has done nothing good for me, none at all.  I only have 42 points for now.  But I also have a large "deficit".  No one who is spending money on a diet program should have a "deficit" as large as I have.  Planning meals is what will do me some good. 
1/27 I need to follow the goals that I set for myself.  In the past, it was too high to attain or too low.  I am all for a happy medium.  In other words, I needed to be realistic.  I have to push myself yet be realistic.  I think that I did well today.  I ate all of my points and hopefully I will lose weight this time.
1/28 I am still figuring out what I need to do to exercise everyday without giving up.  The problem with me is that I tend to give up easily after a few days.  I tend to procrastinate, do the work, and then quit.  The truth is, there seems to be little time left.  Today I don't feel guilty about what I ate.  However, I would like to plan meals.  I would also like to not only set goals, but to live them.  I need to learn to apply those goals to my life and keep things simple.  I just hope that I don't feel like giving up.
1/29  I realize that I have a major struggle to eat a lot of healthy foods, especially fruits and vegetables. I am not sure I know what I am doing.  I am struggling to do so.  Thankfully I am not struggling to the point where I desire to give up.  Wanting or desiring to give up has lead me to the point I am in now.  I ate 5 or 6 servings of vegetables which is good.  However, I eat a lot of unhealthy foods such as a large amount of sweets.  I need to identify my trigger foods so that I won't overeat.  Losing weight is a journey, but it is a journey that is worth it.
1/30 I did pretty well.  I am well under the limit, which is either good or bad.  I am supposed to consume 42 points today.  I only consumed 31 points, which is probably not enough but I am not guilty of feeling guilty because I overate.  It is still a struggle, but I believe I can do anything that I put my mind to it.
1/31 I am diabetic and I now realize that healthy foods come in a greater variety than I thought.  I have to realize that I also need to do a better job with eating in moderation.  I realize also that I need to make small changes.  I am on Weight Watchers and I have to remind myself that I need to be healthy and eat healthy.  I am getting healthier but not healthy enough.  I would like to know where to start.
2/1  I have an obvious desire to change.  I am nervous however.  I am afraid that I will not stick to an exercise routine.  I like to walk and do other exercises but I am nervous about it.  To many, it makes no sense, but I am anxious about it.  I ate well today and I spent a lot of time learning how to eat.  I figure that doing a lot of work yet eating badly does no good.  So I wonder where I should begin?