Thursday, February 20, 2014

Homework Assignment 2/7-2/20

2/7   I am free to express myself.
2/8   I am a work in progress.
2/9    I believe that my living is not in vain.
2/10  I love every curl of my hair.
2/11  I speak life to all who come my way and I speak life to even myself.  We all need and deserve it.
2/12  I am deserving of love and I approve of myself.
2/13  No entry.
2/14  No entry.
2/15  I am a thankful and a thoughtful person.
2/16  I am in harmony with the world
2/17  I attract positivity because of my personality and my sense of humor.
2/18  My life is full of love and joy because I have all that I need, want, and desire.
2/19  My God is a God of plenty and I now receive all that I desire or require, and more
2/20  I love who I am.

2/7 Often I wake up to verses or songs in my head and I wondered if there is something out there for me.  I don't know.  Either way, this verse was of great interest to me, yet I cannot link it to my life.
2/8 My computer slowed down, I blew my "diet", and I am still sore and tired.
2/9  Many professing believers will not be wise virgins because of how they have failed to live their lives.  Many did not love the Lord with all their hearts, minds, and strengths.  "Jesus is a Love Song" I recommend to everyone.
2/10 Sly Stallone is cool in my book.
2/11 To me, cutting off all of my relaxed hair was a signal of independence, which I sorely needed.  I wanted to do something for myself, so that is what I did.  It felt more liberating than anything.  This is decision that I have not regretted.
2/12  No entry.
2/13  No entry.
2/14  No entry.
2/15  There is nothing like being both thankful and thoughtful.  There is also nothing like being thankful and thoughtful for what you don't have
2/16  On the other hand, dealing with anxiety and fear have been hard at times.  I feel like I need to relax.
2/17  I would like to be comfortable, healthy, fit, and be able to see and feel the benefits of losing weight.  Ironically I realize that it wasn't my weight that was THE root of my issues, it was me.
2/18  That is the problem.  How do I stop consuming so many processed foods and eat more fruits and vegetables per day?  How do I eat whole grains?  I would like to have the same thing that a person who is healthier consumes.  It would be great since I am trying to lose weight and stay and live healthier.  That is the goal that I wish to reach.  I would also like to save on healthier foods.  The question is: where do I begin?
2/19  I have learned three things: I frustrate easily, I have trouble relaxing, and I can sleep easily.
2/20  It is a lonely experience being fearful and alone.  I need help and it seems so hopeless.  There are times when I am scared of my own shadow.

Exercise Log
2/7    I cannot say I did any zumba or T25.  However, all I did was rake yards, which should be a great exercise to add unto a my WW program.  Yardwork is quite hard at times, and I realize how out of shape I truly am.
2/8   Nearly two hours of backbreaking work will do that to a person.  It was a lot of work...just doing yardwork.  I am just too slow and too out of shape for my own good.  I am also quite tired and that didn't help.
2/9  I literally did some back breaking work this past week.  Nearly ninety minutes of work is not fun.
2/10 The truth is, I am a beginner who has no clue how to start.  Should I start strength training?  Walking?  Anything?  I for one am tempted to just do anything no matter how advanced just so I could push the limit.
2/11  What good would exercise do if I continue to eat bad foods, especially if I am losing weight?  That is a good point.  I need and would like to, just start.  Just do it.  I wonder what I am really afraid of.
2/12  No entry.
2/13  No entry.
2/14   No entry.
2/15    I wish I had spent the last three days exercising, but I did not.  I admit that I did nothing to develop good eating habits or even an exercise regimen.  Maybe I should just start off slow and then work my way up. However, what exercise should I start with?
2/16   So I was watching Gilad this morning.  I have decided not to postpone exercising so I did nothing.
2/17    I wonder if I have to start off slow and then work up.  I am not new to exercise but I am new to the current mindset that I have.  The truth is, when I start something, I really get into it, and then fall flat on my face
2/18   Moving is so great.  Exercising is so great.  I forget the fun I have when I am exercising.  It makes me feel better and feel lighter.
2/19   I have no clue because I just have no clue.  I need help with exercising.  I am supposed to be eating right and exercise, but I have come to realize that application of what I know just doesn't come easy to me, no matter how hard I try.
2/20 I did some major exercise today and my mother and I were doing yard work this morning.  It was quite a workout and I was tired and a little bit sore.  I am okay today however.  I worked for over two hours.  I finally realized that I am out of shape and that exercise has made me feel better.

Food and Diet entries
2/7  I tend to eat a lot of food when I am hungry.  There are days when anything good no matter how healthy, can be a trigger.  I have no clue how to deal with a trigger until I carry the extra points until the next day.  It seems rather dishonest.  I would like to just control my eating so that I can lose more weight.  I am to keep it simple as I should have years ago.  I just want to lose weight because I know what could happen if I get larger.  I don't.  I want to fit into a chair, take less medication, fit into old clothes, and be less self-conscious about my weight.  Most of all, unbelievably, I would like to know that I have actually accomplished something.  I ate too much today and I wish I could eat less than my point limit.  How do I control myself?  How do I meet my needs without feeling guilty?  I wonder how.
2/8  Today I should have learned my lesson, but I did not.  Today was anything but a perfect day.  I need all the help I can get.  I want and need to lose weight but I feel so alone.  Maybe honesty when logging in is the best policy.  It can't be any worse than what I am doing now.  I need not to make "excuses" such as hunger and carrying it on to the next day.  Those things will not help me at all.  I realize that I need to make some changes, and fast.  I have to realize that first of all, wasting on a program that I am doing so badly on is not helping me.Nor is the fact that I am still struggling with overeating and not taking hunger into consideration.  I am also not helping myself by a failure to apply what I have just learned to my eating habits.  I know that I am supposed to eat up my points and I have an average of 7 extra points to use per day.  I have approached it all badly and I need help.
2/9  I cannot keep continuing in the problem.  My reaction and how I go about living when it comes to my food is counterproductive.  If I want to lose weight, then I have to control my hunger and my emotions.  I have such a difficult issue to deal with.  I wish I could end it.  I feel okay but a little discouraged.  I have no idea what I need to do.
2/10 I am glad to say that I did not overeat to the point of frustration.  However, I prayed about giving up control so that I can be motivated.  I feel much better than I have before.  I guess there were more and more important things that I need to deal with.  I have had other things on my mind.  Learning can be a struggle, but it can also take a little patience and a lot of application.
2/11 Despite being on Weight Watchers, I could use some help and I could use some support.  Applying what I have learned is very hard to do and it is quite daunting.
2/12 No entry.
2/13 No entry.
2/14 No entry.
2/15  Despite being on Weight Watchers, I have to admit that I am struggling.  I also have to admit that if I don't change, all I will be doing is wasting my money.
2/16  I changed my limits to 49 points because only 42 points frustrated me.  It left me room for treats or desserts.  On the other hand, it is even more tempting to eat unhealthy foods.  I did also eat fruits and vegetables and I will consume more fruits as our day goes by.  Right now, I am in a good mood after a loss of electric power and a few days of being ashamed to admit that my diet is poor.  How I preplan my meals will be difficult, but it will be well worth it.
2/17  I cannot believe it.  I feel like I can accomplish my goal.  I wasn't flawless, but I got better.  I ate fruits, vegetables, and legumes.  I am doing better because I learned how to do what I thought was hard all along.  I would like to feel better and less self-conscious.  I am a happier person today than I have been in a while.  I am very thankful.  I know I have gained weight, but ironically I feel great.  I know I can lose weight.  I know I can exercise and see them differently.  I am just hopeful today.
2/18 I am overwhelmed.  I am struggling with controlling my cravings.  Right now, I am not craving anything.  I wonder what can control cravings.   I crave peanuts one day and almonds another day.  I may have a sweet tooth, so I crave something sweet.  I am just struggling while I am on Weight Watchers.  Maybe this is just a part of the program.  I have no idea what I am doing, but I will stick to it.  Life like weight loss, is a journey.  I must remember that.  I was craving for peanut butter but I have to remind myself that I am sharing a house with another person, who also likes peanut butter.  I too must remember that.
2/19 It is the same thing as yesterday.  I must have forgotten what I have learned.  Application is quite hard for me.  Right now, I want a peanut butter sandwich.  I need help.  I need patience.  I wish I could have more time.  I need to lose weight because I want to lose weight and vice versa.  I have very few points left.
2/20 I ate pretty well today.  However I feel like I need to eat healthier though I ate protein.  I also need to eat fruits and vegetables today.  I don't eat enough of those on a daily basis.  Eating healthy is quite hard.  I realize that I have to do what is hard if I wish to succeed.

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