The same grace You extended to the adulterous woman in John 8 is the grace You extended to me. Thank You for saving me and for Your mercy as well. Today I realized that I am not totally well and that is a sad thing. Maybe I thought I was okay but I am not. I overate, and I did things I knew were wrong and for that, I am sorry. I am guilty and I don't feel good about what I did. Forgive me of those sins. Now I understand what Jesus meant when He said to go and sin no more. He extended love, grace, and respect to a woman who was humiliated and degraded because of how she was treated by the Pharisees. I have wondered about this woman. Was she a married woman? Did she sleep with married men? Was she a prostitute? Was she promiscuous? I have realized something about myself and that is not something
I am proud of. I want to change because I know I need to change. I have allowed the "Persona" to take over at times. I am just as judgmental as she is of women who cheat, but not of men who do the same thing. Despite my views, I know that they were wrong. Both sexes who cheat are wrong, but I realize in my mind and in my heart that no matter who they sleep with, how many they sleep with, and why, You forgive those who have repented and judge those who don't. I know that Jesus will one day judge us all and I need to realize those things.
Life is too short for me to concentrate on something that I actually have never experienced. Help me to count it all joy during times like these. How do I count it all joy? I have obsessive thoughts still but I have to see that a promiscuous person is not deserving of salvation, but neither am I. No one deserving of salvation, but Jesus died on the cross for us all, whether it is someone like me or a promiscuous married woman. I will never know and that is what is bothering me. I tend to make a big deal over whether or not a woman who is married is promiscuous or will get caught in the very act. But You died for promiscuous spouses just like You died for me. Help me to keep that in mind. Also, help me keep in mind that who I am obsessing with may be rare and I tend to think about the worse case scenario.
What scares me is that the wife would be an uncaring, unloving, narcissistic, or shallow spouse who has at least one or many affairs. I excuse spouses who cheat for some reason. No man or woman should cheat regardless of the reason. I am wrong for that as well. I need to count it all joy. I ask that You would remind me that You will arrive for Your church and that You would judge all of us soon or at least quickly. I fear promiscuity in wives and that is none of my business what others do. I feel like a nosy neighbor who wants to know everything about everybody and the truth is, I will never know and that is bothersome to me. I want to know all of the details. Lord, remind me that the truth is, it is okay that I will never know. Doing "research" is a total waste of time. I want to get better.. Lord, heal me. I thank You for Your healing touch.
In Jesus' name,