Monday, February 23, 2015
Another perspective on having OCD
Who am I to judge? Right now that is how I feel. Who am I to judge people who I don't know? That is how I feel right now. If a wife dies does any cheating that she did have something to do with it. There is a missing woman in Florida who met a man at a bar. She was estranged from her husband and she met a man at a bar. That in itself is a spike. I feel like a detective but it is only the OCD "talking". So how do I shut it up? How do I keep the spike from evolving into a thought into a compulsion that will only relieve me of my anxiety temporarily. OCD is a cyclical disease. I have to admit that I had learned a lot about myself from having this disorder and I even "enjoyed" some of the moments I had with the "OCD Persona". Why? It relieved my anxiety if only for a moment. It can be torturous because at time it is torturous. My goal is to stop the cycle of OCD. How do I stop the compulsions; how do I not act on them? It would be nice if I...maybe that is the problem. It is about control. I want to be in control but with the OCD it is hard. The best thing I can do is to give up control and let the world be the world and let me be me. How then do I just allow the thoughts to pass? I just have so many questions.