Monday, August 31, 2015


Last night was a rough night.  The word recoil was hard to overcome without making me anxious.  It was based on an episode of NCIS, called "Recoil" where a promiscuous wife was killed by her husband.  It bothered me so much.  I realize that being mindful and thoughtful helped me to see that it was not real.  Thoughts come and go.  I learned to be mindful of my surroundings, no matter how worrisome the thoughts are.  I also spent some time wondering how many men she slept with, why a woman would cheat, and if she ever, ever loved her husband.  I believe that adultery is about deception and selfishness.  I don't hate adulterers.  I believe that they are pitiful; they are in need of guidance, wisdom, and understanding.  Communication may be all that it takes.  Btu whatever the reason, one also has to love themselves, for there are consequences to infidelity and fornication.  Many do not realize it until it is too late and that is sad.  I guess that I will never know.  I guess with those obsessive thoughts and compulsions, all I can do is just let them be and forget about the time-wasting answer or answers.  I realize that there are more important things than giving in to compulsions which can be a struggle, at least difficult to overcome.  I have to learn that I too am an adulteress and deceitful as I believe we all are.  Adultery is being a friend of the world, but an enemy of the Lord. Those who are the few will walk that road that leads to life.  They are faithful and true.  The world does not love us.  It has never loved us, and never will.

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