Friday, August 28, 2015
What I really need
I have finally woken up to the reality that I need to do more with my life. I am cooped up in the house using the computer most of the day. I don't go out much and though things have improved, there is still some ways to go. I am happy to say that while there are still obsessive thoughts that bother me, I realize that they don't have to bring me down. I for a long time felt horrible about myself. It was as if the whole world hated me. I guess I will never know certain things. I realize that they no longer matter. Someone else's imagination doesn't have to be mine. A figment of one's imagination written on paper or shown on screen doesn't have to bother me anymore. It is no longer real to me. It took a while to realize that within my brain and it is not "over" sort of speak, but I no longer so much that it causes worry and apprehension. I do need a social life; I need to travel and explore the world more. I need to schedule more things. I would like to and need to do more and see more. I could exercise more. I could just do a lot of more of those things. It is time I do something that makes me more independent. Independence is what I need.