Friday, August 28, 2015

What I really need

I have finally woken up to the reality that I need to do more with my life.  I am cooped up in the house using the computer most of the day.  I don't go out much and though things have improved, there is still some ways to go.  I am happy to say that while there are still obsessive thoughts that bother me, I realize that they don't have to bring me down.  I for a long time felt horrible about myself.  It was as if the whole world hated me. I guess I will never know certain things.  I realize that they no longer matter.  Someone else's imagination doesn't have to be mine.  A figment of one's imagination written on paper or shown on screen doesn't have to bother me anymore.  It is no longer real to me.  It took a while to realize that within my brain and it is not "over" sort of speak, but I no longer so much that it causes worry and apprehension.  I do need a social life; I need to travel and explore the world more.  I need to schedule more things.  I would like to and need to do more and see more.  I could exercise more.  I could just do a lot of more of those things.  It is time I do something that makes me more independent.  Independence is what I need.

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