Thursday, May 28, 2015
I wish for something else, but I must be careful what i wish for..
Right now I wish I could have an obsessive thought about losing weight. I weigh over 300 pounds and I am short. Some say that it is unhealthy. The truth is, they are right. It hasn't registered that I need to lose weight yet but I want it to. My heart is in it despite the fact that I seem to have no clue what it means to eat healthy. I have been sedentary and unhealthy for a long time. Things have not improved for me. I felt like giving up. I don't want to. I don't want to have anymore obsessive thoughts period, but it is more freeing that obsessive thoughts about infidelity. I was being naive when I said that and I know this. I thought that it might be easier if I were to have obsessive thoughts about anything but adultery, being saved, and having to see sexual images of adultery and forced sex. But I wonder if it is common for me to wish something like this. I hate having obsessive compulsive disorder, but at least the thoughts are fading away even if there are things that trigger these thoughts.