I realize that there is no excuse for really anything. No matter what, I realize that despite my being able-bodied and able-minded, I will not make any such excuses. I will have to push myself even if my desire is to give up. I cannot and will not give up. I realize that patience is something that I have gotten better at, but it hasn't always been easy. It will never be a free or easy ride. Even ease and freedom has its price. I guess what I am saying is that there is nothing free but nothing ventured, nothing gain. That is what will happen with my thoughts and what has and will continue to happen with losing weight. I have been doing better on both fronts and will continue to do better, no matter how hard things have been and will be. I wish that overcoming obsessive thoughts and doubts about my weight are not just something that never existed but I have to be realistic. They do and in order to accomplish something, I will have to see things for what they really truly are. I will have to do what is hardest and that is accept even the littlest truth. Maybe that is the hardest thing of all.