I realize that I seem to have lived by my thoughts. My thoughts have guided me into all things. I have allowed this to happen. I have now become annoyed to do these deeds. I hope to never deal with all of those negative things that I have dealt with. My hope and prayer is that I should not have to be guided and allow myself to live by what my mind says. I have allowed my OCD to guide me. It has almost been second nature, which in itself is quite scary. How does acceptance work? How do I accept having OCD? How do I finally cope? That is the hardest part of it all.