11/15 I am amazing just the way I am.
11/16 I accept my body shape and acknowledge the beauty it holds.
11/17 My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.
11/18 My healing is already in process.
11/19 Others can trust me because I am trustworthy and reliable.
11/20 I am gracious and grateful.
11/21 I love and approve of myself.
11/15 I have found myself justifying these thoughts and trying to convince
myself. I am not confused about these thoughts. They have not been as
soothing or kind to me as I thought. They have been nothing but a
burden. They have distracted me, bothered me, burdened me, and woken me
up. It has been quite confusing. I am drawn to them like a moth to a
flame. I have learned to be thankful and to re-direct my thoughts. I
have learned to let the thoughts pass. I have to do what is hard, and
re-directing and letting the thoughts pass is rather hard.
Do they honor God? No, they do not honor God. Do they honor me? That
is obviously not true either. I have asked myself a series of questions
not only about the thoughts, but about how I live my life. I needed to
take an inventory of my life and myself. I have become more aware
today than I have on other days. The feedback of others have become too
valuable and mine have not been valuable enough. I care about others,
of course, but I have to care about myself too.
11/16 My motives haven't always been pure. I realize that I have had selfish
motives for wanting to watch tv or movies. I realize that I have
avoided situations because of fear and not because the movie or tv show
or song does not honor God. I admit that I have done dishonorable
things and for that, I am no saint. One who is holy has pure motives.
Mercy and faith go hand in hand with holiness. Those are things that
matter much more to me in the grand scheme of things.
11/17 Being a Christian isn't a walk in the park. Let me explain. A true
Christian goes through problems like everyone else. We know that there
is also a spiritual fight that we have to face. We don't wrestle
against flesh and blood but we have to fight the very works of the
enemy. The Christian walk isn't just an easy ride, but also a race
where sometimes the roads are unpaved. Many Christians have also been
persecuted for their faith. It has been going on for millenia. That
will not change until the time of the end. However, we are to be
overcomers. Satan is a deceiver seeking whom he
may devourer. Jesus is the Lord and Savior who conqured hell and the
grave. Jesus Christ has all of the winning tools at His disposal.
11/18 I have to admit that nothing has happened. I have a cold and that is
about as exciting as my day went. When the person is you, you have a new
perspective on things. I feel so shallow today because I have
relatives who are much sicker than I. I am not so sure about them, but
they seem to be okay. I wish I was there for my sick relative but I am
sick myself. One has to be sick in order to see one perspective, to have
that mile walked in their shoes.
11/19 Life is way too short to allow these thoughts to take over my life.
That includes my thought life. It is important to realize that I have
to allow these thoughts to pass. This morning it took nasty thoughts
about being yelled at and being physically ill to realize all of this.
It took a new perspective that I had to learn about myself. I wish that
advice would have set me free, but all of those things didn't help me
because I wasn't bored enough. I am bored with all of it. I am not
sick of these thoughts. I wish to move on. That is what I desire.
11/20 May Whitney Houston rest in peace.
11/21 Today was just another day in a year full of days. It will always be another day in a year filled with days, weeks, and months.
11/15-11/21 Food and Diet Blog entries
11/16 I do tend to eat over the 1400 calorie limit like I did yesterday. I
did eat in moderation...I did at least eat my snacks in moderation.
However, I should have eaten 200 calories or less in eating my snacks.
One of my problem areas is eating big snacks and sometimes too small
meals. I need to work on that.
11/17 I tried the best I could with staying under the 1400 calorie limit. I
ate too much chicken today. I am not feeling too well because I have a
slight cold right now. Hopefully I will feel better.
11/18 I binged some today. Right now, I am struggling to eat 1400 calories
per day. I need to learn "addictive" food such as crackers and potaotes
in moderation or not at all. I have learned a lot not only about diet
but about my eating habits. I also need to exercise more as well. I am
going to stick to the 1400 calories in the next few days or so. I also
plan to even lower consumption of calories. I have changed my calories
low enough. I eat way too many calories and have gained weight because
11/19 I have made the 1400 calorie mark the first time. When I say that, I
mean that I have barely gone over the 1400 calorie mark. I did eat a
rather huge lunch. I have to learn that I am to eat like a queen at
breakfast, eat like a princess at lunch, and eat like a pauper at
dinner. I finally realize how elitist it is, but I guess it is a way
that I will lose weight.
11/20 I finally found out why I eat so much. I guess it is more emotional
than anything. I have denied it not because I was in denial, but
because I didn't know any better. Despite my issues, my emotions have
not gotten in the way of my eating habits. In other words, I usually
don't eat emotionally to solve any issues. I am concerned that I am not
losing any weight and I wanted to binge tonight, but I came pretty
close. I ate 500 calories plus over the limit. I don't feel bad about
it, but I know that I can do much, much better.
11/21 I was just hungry and tired today. That is the only reason or rather,
reasons why I am eating over the 1400 calorie limit. It is a budget
that I go over constantly. It doesn't bother me that I eat over that
limit. However, it would be nice to eat at that limit. I don't feel
guilty about what I ate or drank today however.