Questions to answer

1. Are they meaningful?
2. Will they matter in the near future?
3. Are they of any value?
4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?
2. Do they honor me?
3. Can they really hurt me?
4. Why do I have these thoughts?
5. What are my fears and how to face them?
6. What are really the most important things to me?

No matter what the circumstances or the thoughts, they have never hurt me.  The contents seem to matter but I have to learn about the grand scheme of things.  I still have concerns and worries, but today was a good enough day  Even fictional characters will be seen as fictional.  Worrying about it does me no good.

I got it!

1. Are they meaningful?
2. Will they matter in the near future?
3. Are they of any value?
4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?
2. Do they honor me?
3. Can they really hurt me?
4. Why do I have these thoughts?
5. What are my fears and how to face them?
6. What are really the most important things to me?

I had to realize that I had to live a life to please God and not man, including myself.  What in my life honors God?  What in my life isn't demeaning?  I will never truly know why I have the thoughts that I have, but I guess it never mattered then and it doesn't matter now.  I believe that it is okay to wonder but since I worry, I also tend to over-think or to mull over the specific details.  These thoughts in and of themselves have no meaning or value; all they produce is anxiety and fear.  They need some reaction by me but it is best to produce little or no reaction.  I realize that changing the channel or letting the thoughts pass also help.  

Being reminded

1. Are they meaningful?
2. Will they matter in the near future?
3. Are they of any value?
4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?
2. Do they honor me?
3. Can they really hurt me?
4. Why do I have these thoughts?
5. What are my fears and how to face them?
6. What are really the most important things to me?

I need help in reminding myself at times.  Often, I tend to forget what is important or who is important.  I also tend to forget to ask questions concerning obsessive thoughts.   I have to remind myself that every time a thought comes, I don't have to react.  I can be proactive.  I can counteract. Reacting to these thoughts I remember are counterproductive.  That is something else for me to keep in mind.

Reflection on the thoughts

1. Are they meaningful?
2. Will they matter in the near future?
3. Are they of any value?
4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?
2. Do they honor me?
3. Can they really hurt me?
4. Why do I have these thoughts?
5. What are my fears and how to face them?
6. What are really the most important things to me?


The most important things to me are faith and family.  Those are things that I need to focus on. Those are thoughts that last to me.  I am to have thoughts and think on those thoughts as God says to do. However, I have not always done so.  I do not feel okay about this.  The content bothers me, but I realize it is not about me or about my life.  In fact, my life is quite simple.  I am currently not in a relationship.  I have never cheated nor have I ever been cheated on.  I guess that is why I have these thoughts other than the fact that OCD will latch on to anything.   For me, it was gossip about cheating and that is what the OCD latches on to.  Well, that is what I have been fighting against for years.  On the other hand, it has taught me much about myself even though they don't affect me personally. To answer the above questions, there are no meaning or value to these thoughts since they are not honorable.  They don't honor God but they have never harmed me.  The hardest part is to face them head on.  Fear is false evidence appearing real.  Sounds a lot like my obsessive thoughts.

Answering the headline questions 12/5/15

1. Are they meaningful?
2. Will they matter in the near future?
3. Are they of any value?
4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?
2. Do they honor me?
3. Can they really hurt me?
4. Why do I have these thoughts?
5. What are my fears and how to face them?
6. What are really the most important things to me?

Here are today's headlines:
1. Robin Givens humiliates Mike Tyson.
2. Paris Hilton is the subject of mocking on "South Park".
3. Iggy Azalea responds to Erika Badu's comments.
4. Man catches wife in bed and lifts up the "covers".
5. The politics of race is a New York Times best seller.

I realized that if I wished to overcome these thoughts, I have to do what is most difficult and that is to answer the questions and hold nothing back.  I have had obsessive thoughts and troubling images on each of these headlines for years and I dare say that the common theme here concerns people doing wrong and done wrong.  I hate it.  I hate disses.  I hate humiliation.  I hate other people's reactions. I hate my own reactions sometimes.  What scares me is that I will become judgmental and hateful.  I also believe that what scares me more is that I won't have an opinion of my own.  In the grand scheme of things, none of these things don't affect me personally.  So why the obsessive thoughts and such images?  I have strong opinions and the OCD attaches itself to it.  No one deserves to be called out on in a humiliating way, murdered, beaten, mocked, or dissed.  This is clearly not a Christian society we are living in and it is scary and troubling that some people think it is okay.  I don't know Robin Givens, nor do I know her motives for doing why she did this but I think she should have handled things differently.  I don't know Paris Hilton either, but South Park went too far.  Good or bad, people have feelings.  Erika Badu went too far regardless if Iggy is a pop star who raps and doesn't seem to be a good person.  Women and men should not cheat yet I have no idea about infidelity other than the fact that it is a sin and will be judged by God.  Racism is also a sin and it is sad that the enemy has done a good job of dividing and almost destroying the human race (thankfully he didn't do this).  So none of these disses, humiliations, mockings, and revenge affect me personally specifically.  They are not God honoring nor do they honor anyone much less me. Having written these thoughts, they cannot hurt me.  Family, faith, character, and minding mine and the Lord's business are important to me as these thoughts have no meaning, or value.

Questions to answer 12/4/15

1. Are they meaningful?

2. Will they matter in the near future?

3. Are they of any value?

4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?

2. Do they honor me?

3. Can they really hurt me?

4. Why do I have these thoughts?

5. What are my fears and how to face them?

6. What are really the most important things to me?

Here is the scenario:

A man comes home from work and hears a noise.  He opens the door and then catches his wife in the act.  Then....

1. Should I go on?

2. Should I act on it?

Well, I have decided to answer those two questions by asking the above questions:

1. They are not meaningful as they have no real meaning.  I am not in a relationship right now.

2. It may seem that way, but I would forget about them in the near future because they don't have anything to do with me personally.

3. Because they are not meaningful and that I will eventually move on, they are no value.

4. I cannot see how this scenario will affect me on a personal level.

Further, I will answer more questions in greater depth about the images that have been bothering me off and on recently.  

1. They do not honor God for they are not godly.

2. They do not honor me for they are demeaning.

3. The thoughts cannot hurt me.

4. The truth is, I will never know, nor does it matter.

5. The fear is the fear of the unknown.

6. Truth, love, hope, family, faith, family, holiness, and giving.

Important questions to answer

From 12/26/13:

My obsessions bore me.  Once they end, it is as if I have to ask myself, what is next?  Why can't I just give myself room to breathe.  I cannot even watch a movie or a simple video without being triggered. I cannot even read a book without being afraid of a trigger.  My world has gotten smaller, much smaller.  I want to learn and grow and expand my world.  It is not happening as I write this.  Where do I begin?  Why am I so afraid?  How do I overcome my fear?  It is all fiction.  It is all vanity.  I have to constantly remind myself of that I guess.

I am a person who doesn't offend that easily though there are things that are offensive.  It depends on context and on how I would react to something.  How do I overcome the fear that I have?  How does perfect love cast out fear?  What are things that I like to do?  What shows do I like to watch?  What are books do I like to read?  How can I know what movie to watch without being afraid that something like a thought would be triggered by a word or two.  That is scary to me.  A thought would be triggered by a movie review, or anything.  I could use some prayer and I could use some help.  I just hope things will turn out alright.

After all this time:

I still deal with these same issues.  My counselor has given me some questions to answer whenever a thought arise?

1. Are they meaningful?

2. Will they matter in the near future?

3. Are they of any value?

4. How will they affect me on a personal level?

The truth is, I already know the answers.  They have no meaning, they are not real, or of no value. Therefore, they really don't have an effect on a personal level because it is not my story.  Now I need to further ask myself these questions:

1. Do they honor God?

2. Do they honor me?

3. Can they really hurt me?

4. Why do I have these thoughts?

5. What are my fears and how to face them?

6. What are really the most important things to me?

Number 6 especially is a question that could be a biography.  It is about searching myself and for myself.  To answer the other 5, these thoughts can not really hurt me.  No matter how real they may seem, I know that if I were to take a couple of steps back, then I could see clearly enough to know that all I have to do is answer that they are not real and real life is what I see on television.  No thought has ever hurt me, but they have scared me.  I look back and I still wonder sometimes what I am afraid of.  It is like something big and giant that is so scary that anything can be a trigger can scares me, but that something has never harmed me, but they scare me.  I guess it is the fear of the unknown.  I will never know and that bothers me.  The what if's, the why's, and the how's scare me. I hate uncertainty and that scares me too.  I need to change that aspect of my character.  I guess it is a character flaw, but it could be just a part of the doubting disease.  Will I ever come to a conclusion deep inside my heart that those doubts and fears do not have to control me?  I have done that for years and the thoughts have kept on looping and looping and looping.  The thoughts, doubts, and fears linger on and on.  It has left me with nothing but stress, more unanswered questions, and more anxiety.   I guess if these thoughts of no real value cannot hurt me, then why am I scared?  Why do I keep avoiding them?  Why do I care if I have these specific thoughts so much?  All I know is about the last question.  Sometimes I have to learn that some things just don't matter, because as it seems, nothing seems to make sense in the world anyways.