Friday, December 27, 2013
Writing has been helpful
I have spent time in the past writing out examples of thoughts that I have been having. It has been hard to read out those thoughts yet I have managed to keep them for future reference. I realize that today I am not 100% better. I have been having obsessive thoughts and suffer from scrupulosity for a number of years. All I ever wanted was for my thoughts to weaken. I am happy to say that my thoughts about MR and CO have weakened. I wrote a rather vulgar story about MR and CO that has helped me to realize that I don't know them. The chances of my knowing them are slim to none. I will never know them as far as I know. It is all vanity; therefore it doesn't matter. I wonder what my stories would say about them. What would they say about infidelity? These stories and this paragraph is connected to what I have written last night. I need to read up my thoughts and change my reaction to these thoughts and have a different opinion on these scenarios. I need to move and know how to move forward. If it means to be anxious and feel fear every once in a while, then so be it.