I was a bit bummed this morning.

I did watch the show I was trying to avoid.  I made the mistake of assuming that all of that will be over.  In fact, it has made my anxiety worse.  However, talking about it to my mother has helped. Having an actual conversation works.  My advice is not to be ashamed to talk to someone who is trusting about what is going on. I however woke up bummed.  It came and went.  I also have thoughts on being an adulterous wife myself.  In a way those are based on ruminations and they are also a way of coping with the obsessive thoughts that I have.  I have a crush on a young guy and he plays my husband.  Sadly I rather not give all of the details.  It is necessary to say that I am not crazy and I choose not to be anxious about it, I also choose to cry about it.  My hope is that I will get better and more free.  I hope and pray that it will not be a dream.