Affirmations
12/20 I love to celebrate because I am a joyful person.
12/21 I care about myself and others around me and I want the best for them.
12/22 I am not vain.
12/23 I can see the world with beautiful eyes.
12/24 I am a nice, not a naughty person.
12/25 I am joyous.
12/26 I am strong and I love myself.
Musings
12/20 Today I find myself just bored out of my skull literally. I literally have nothing to write. This is so sad because I have a recipe, a video, or something to say. But there is nothing to say or write. I am just a blank slate with no substance in it. I am so sorry right now. I have written about so many things in my life I don't know what else to write. That is the problem. Where do I go from here? Where do I start? Who do I direct my thoughts on? It is just a lonely place to be.
12/21 Yesterday I was blank. Today I am doubtful. It is quite painful to have doubts. One minute you are full of faith. The next minute, all doesn't seem right with the world. That is how I felt today. I am questioning myself and doubting God. There are things that I need but maybe I am focusing on the wrong things. I am here to write that doubt is close to unbelief. Unbelief should have no place in a believer's or anyone's life. Maybe it is a good thing that I have doubt, but at least there is a small measure of faith there. I just don't know how to express that faith. There is a need that seems impossible to obtain yet I am not sure if even God will supply that need. It seems so wrong to ask Him. Maybe I should tell God just how I feel.
12/22 I love this movie. It is one of a few movies that I watch that I can watch over and over again. I know it is over 3 hours long, but it doesn't matter to me. I personally liked the live NBC version and would purchase a DVD copy of the live performance. Carrie Underwood is not a trained actress by trade, but she did an adequate job otherwise. Singing is her strong suit. However, she was believable as Maria. It I'm sure was not easy to live up to the Julie Andrews movie version. But a person will always have their haters. Either way, the live version was good enough to remind me of the original, which I am watching now. I personally didn't think the live version was horrible and that I would recommend it. I would give the live version a 7.5 out of a possible score of 10. However, I would give the movie a 10 out of 10. There is nothing horrid about each versions. Critics were being too hard on Carrie Underwood. But haters are gonna hate.
Ingredients
2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut-up
1 large egg
1/4 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
2 tsp. nutmeg
2 tsp. flour
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup melted butter or margarine
Directions
In a large pot, boil the sweet potatoes. They would be ready after at least half an hour. Once they are ready, drain. Then mash the potatoes in the pot and set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the sugars, flour, vanilla extract, margarine, and spices in a bowl. In a smaller bowl, temper the egg and the milk because the potatoes are hot. Add that in and finally add the potatoes.
Once the mixture is well-incorporated, pour into an unbaked deep dish pan. Bake in a preheated 400 degree oven. Bake for at least 30 minutes or until the center is set. Once ready, let pie cool at room temperature for 20 minutes. Once the pie has cooled, then serve.
Ingredients for pie filling
1 can pumpkin
1 large egg
3/4 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1 Tbsp. flour
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup melted butter or margarine
Ingredients for crumb topping
1 stick butter or margarine
1 1/2 cup self-rising flour
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
Ingredients for caramel sauce
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup water
1 cup milk
1 stick butter
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl mix all of the ingredients of the pie filling until it is well-incorporated and the batter is smooth. Set aside.
To make the caramel sauce mix the white sugar and water over medium heat in a medium sized pot or pan. Stir often until the syrup turns brown. Then add in the brown sugar, and the butter. Stir until butter is melted and the brown sugar dissolves. Slowly pour in the milk for the syrup will be hot. It is best to take the pan or pot off of the stove to add the milk and then stir until the milk is well-incorporated. Once well-incorporated, take the caramel mixture off of the stove and set aside.
In a deep baking dish, pour in the pumpkin mixture which was set aside earlier. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes.
While it is cooking, in a small bowl, mix all of the ingredients for the crumb topping. Make sure the ingredients are well-incorporated. Set aside for now.
Once the 30 minutes are up, take out the pie. Set the pie on a cooling rack and drizzle some of the caramel sauce on top of the pie. Then add the crumb topping on top of the pie making sure the pie is fully covered. Bake again for another 25 minutes at 375 degrees until the pie is well-set in the center. Once the pie is taken out of the oven, place pie on a cooling rack and let it "rest" for 10 minutes. Once the 10 minutes are up, then drizzle again with more caramel sauce and let the pie continue to cool. Once cooled, serve.
12/25 This is truly my favorite time of the year.
12/26 Today is the day after Christmas. I had a pretty good Christmas yesterday. I ate way too much food, but at least I received great gifts. I do hate it when it has to end. But today wasn't so bad however.
I was wondering if I will ever get to know any celebrity. I would like to meet some but I cannot recall their names at the moment. The truth is, I am not sure if I will like these people. I am sure these are nice folks, but they are just that: folks. I don't know the people that I will ever obsess or have an idealization about people. Why am I writing this? It has been a theme of mine for almost all year long. I will never get to know any of these people realistically nor should I care. They are just people after all. In the grand scheme of things, it is all vanity.
Food and diet blog entries
12/20 No entry.
12/21 I feel so much freer. I am okay now. It is still a struggle, but the struggle is well worth it.
12/22 Right now, I am just logging in my weight and needless to say, I have gained weight. I promise that I will lose the weight, but I have no idea how much weight I want to lose.
12/23 No entry.
12/24 I am sorry I never got around to writing an entry yesterday. I am worried about myself. I need help. I know I need help. I realize that I need help. I am concerned for my health. I am not sure I know who to turn to for help. I think that I will be okay. It is even more difficult now that this is Christmas Eve. I realize that I am more of an emotional eater who needs, wants, and desires to lose weight. I am scared that I will never lose said weight and that is scary in itself.
12/25 All I can say is Merry Christmas.
12/26 Today is the day that I have started all over. I don't know what more to do. I will just leave it in the hands of God.
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