11/22 I attract good things in my life that are needed.
11/23 I bring joy to all around me because I am joyful.
11/24 I am a friend to myself.
11/25 I am happy about my weight.
11/26 I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
11/27 I am prayerful.
11/28 I am thankful.
11/29 I am a thankful, grateful, gracious soul.
11/30 I believe in honor and therefore I practice being honorable.
12/1 The Lord is my Rock and my Salvation...I am saved by Jesus Christ.
12/2 I have learned to say no because it is so freeing.
12/3 God is the owner of my heart.
12/4 I am living my life like it is golden because it is a gift.
12/5 I am strong like steel is strong.
12/6 I love not just the idea of love, but love itself.
12/7 I love myself and I love everyone.
12/8 I am free because I live in freedom
12/9 I am preparing myself for the return of Jesus.
12/10 Life loves me because I love life.
12/11 I believe in change that benefits me.
12/12 I love music and therefore I am a musical person.
Musings
11/22 More poetic yesterday and more musical on Wednesday. I am grateful for a lot of things today. Following doctor's orders is quite important. I wished I had followed his and her orders before. I have decided that that is what is best for me. I thought I had all of the answers but I didn't. It left me confused and frazzled. Because of the confusion and stress, I ended up making bad choices and now I am trying to lose weight again. I take full responsibility for my bad choices. I am still in the plateau range but at least I have not gained all of my weight back, which is good news.
11/23 Gift giving and being thankful give me joy. As a believer, I have realized that serving God and serving your fellow man (and woman) is about loving and cherishing others. Christmas and Thanksgiving are times when we should be loving, giving, and thanking God and thanking others. I wasn't sure what the holidays are all about in the past because it seems so cliched. I wasn't cynical mind you, but celebrating these holidays shouldn't just be about having fun, but about being holy.
11/24 We all promise a lot of things but like the title says, "Jesus Promised" His promises like His prophecies are 100%. They are accurate, true, and to the letter. With the Lord, a promise is a promised that will be fulfilled. Christians serve a God who cannot lie. He is Honest and expects all His creation to be the same way.
11/25 Why am I writing this? I am writing this because of the cult of celebrity that is so pervasive in US society at least. These celebrities are images, but they are people at the same time. I am watching "Ellen" and Lady Gaga is being interviewed. What is so amazing is that she is a human who comes across as a real human. She is a talented artist that is a person like all of us. She is not an object to be worshipped. It is okay to like her music, but there are some of us humans who take devotion to a whole new level.
11/26 Jesus is definitely the way, the truth, and the life. It is kind of like the Sabbath. We are to worship and serve the Lord everyday, not just on a specified day of the week or even on Christmas. Christians serve a God who fulfilled the law. We no longer have to live by the law. That means that the law or good works won't save us, but Jesus Christ will save us. I am not meaning to say that the Ten Commandments and the Old Testament are null and void. They are not. Murder is wrong, covetnous is wrong, and so are adultery and theft and idolatry. Those works committed by anyone who has not repentant whether or not they profess Christ with their lips will cause the sinner or false believer to be outside the Kingdom of God. What that means is that one who continues to sin willfully will not enter Heaven or the New Jerusalem. That is what should always be the focus whether or not we should celebrate Christmas.
11/27 The Holy Trinity is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. To best explain the Trinity, they are three members in one Godhead. Most people, including Christians, have little to no understanding who God is, much less each Person in the Godhead. So who is God? Is He a loving God? Is He a Strict Disciplinarian who is waiting to punish us whenever we sin? There are many who either believe in God, but have no relationship with God or those who do and have doubts about Him. The answers to these questions and concerns are in the Bible.
11/28 Psalm 100Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
2 qServe the Lord with gladness!
rCome into his presence with singing!
3 Know that sthe Lord, he is God!
It is he who tmade us, and uwe are his;1
we are his vpeople, and wthe sheep of his pasture.
4 xEnter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his ycourts with praise!
Give thanks to him; zbless his name!
5 aFor the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his bfaithfulness to all generations.
11/29 Ballet is such a beautiful and intricate dance. I guess that it is how God felt when he created the ballerina. He knew beforehand what each ballerina wanted to be when she grew up. There are girls out there who do want to be ballerinas. I never wanted to be one as I am more of an observer. I am not the greatest dancer but I can see why people aspire to be ballerinas and watch ballet. It is a wonderful combination of the beauty and grace and dedication to one's craft. It is an artform, just like painting or writing a play or acting in a play. I find plays, sonnets, and operas so fascinating. Over the years I have become a fan especially within the last year after watching the Nutcracker. I admit that I have never been to a full-blown opera with its intricate, meticulous attention paid to every detailed note, high and low, and its guided symphonies. They are relaxing and a pleasure to watch. I thought that it would bore me, but it doesn't.
11/30 No entry
12/1 The video of the day is "Candlelight" by Toni Braxton.
12/2 However, I cannot say that it is nostalgic as much tragedy has occurred during that period as well. I cannot recall other sad memories other than those. We are all humans trying to live and survive on this planet. We are created by God, yet flawed and a little lower than the angels. God is the greatest Artist of all time.
12/3 Revelation 22:20-2120 He which testifieth these things saith,Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
12/4 I do wonder what Mary was thinking when she gave birth to the Savior. I have wondered if He was a rather easy child to raise because to say He would have been well-behaved would be an understatement. I even wondered if Jesus even needed to be disciplined every once in a while. I am sure that Jesus was raised by good parents and that God knew what He was doing when He chose Mary and Joseph to raise Him. I wish I knew what happened during the 18 years from when His parents were looking for HIm to His ministry. What did happen to the Lord over those years? Does it really matter? Maybe it doesn't, but it certainly doesn't hurt to wonder.
12/5 I thank God everyday for all He is and all He has done for me. These three songs have helped me to cope with life's up and downs. I am so thankful that God blessed these voices with the gift of song.
12/6 There are seven things I know that i can do to motivate myself and to never give up.1- respect my body
2- love myself
3- work to overcome binging
4- exercise
5- continue to affirm myself
6- meditation
7- learn to fight against the wiles of the enemy whatever they may be
I have to learn to do those things. I have been binging for the past few days and I have been left frustrated and unhealthy. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I am just tired of being sick of being sick and tired. I have grown that way for a while. The solution is to bring all of my problems to the Lord and cast my cares upon Him. I believe that the Lord will solve all problems and lift heavy burdens. I tend to stress myself out too much and have a desire to give up. I don't know why I tend to make the simple things hard. This time, I am ready for a change.
12/7 Jesus is the Reason for the Season. I believe He is the Reason for all seasons. We are to worship Him in spirit and in truth. I celebrate Christmas all year long. Well, it means that Christmas is about celebrating not just Jesus' birth, but His very life and what He has done for us. I want to remember His whole life all day long. Life is too short not for us to do that for the other 364 days.
12/8 I have created a recipe for penne and cheese, which is similar to homemade macaroni and cheese.
12/9
Fruitcake blondies recipe12/10
Chocolate Chip Almond Blondies12/11
Lemon Coconut Cake12/12
Raisin Cake RecipeFood and Diet blog entries
11/22 I have decided to follow doctor's order and no longer struggle. My goal is to consume 1800 calories per day. I could easily go down to 1400 if need be. I have struggled to consume those few calories. My metabolism is rather slow and I wish to lose weight.
11/23 It was actually a struggle today to consume more than 1200 calories. That is highly unusual for me. I actually don't know what to make of this. I hope that I will eventually lose weight starting today. My metabolism has slowed down over the last 2 weeks.
11/24 I am in need of help. I am consuming 1800 calories a day yet my metabolism slows. I hope to have that fixed. I realize that I eat many fried foods. I have eaten foods in moderation and I would like to know if I have lost weight. Maybe life is too short to waste worrying about food intake. Maybe worrying is helping to slow down my metabolism. Relax.
11/25 I am doing well. However, my blood sugar levels have fallen so I ate more than 1800 calories today. Right now, I am chewing gum to make sure I don't have hypoglycemia. I didn't know about the dangers that I could have had other than the nervousness, shakiness, and the outright hunger. It is quite sudden and it is not fun.
11/26 No entry.
11/27 I forgot to write an entry yesterday. I am doing well in my diet thus far. Tomorrow is another day however. I did eat way too much cereal with sugar just now however. I don't feel that guilty about eating that much because I consumed less than 1500 calories today.
11/28 No entry.
11/29 Wow. I consumed almost 4000 calories worth of foods. It is amazing how much the human body can digest. I ended up with a headache this morning. I would like to be able to lose all of that weight by eating 1800 calories or less. It can be done I guess, but it may take no more than 2400 calories. I am glad to have lost weight yet I feel that I may have gained that 1.8 pounds back. I am concerned about my weight since I binged a few weeks ago. I developed headaches as a result because I was not accustomed to eating so much. I rarely binge anymore which is a good thing.
11/30 I hope to consume less than 3000 calories today. I didn't realize that Thanksgiving food and calories and snacks creep up. I haven't binged but I ate way too much per meal and per sitting. That is the problem. I do tend to eat much in one sitting. However my snacks are high calorie and I am getting better with the small snack/large meal solution yet my meals are too large.
12/1 I surprise myself today. I consumed less than 2000 not counting drinks. I am so happy about it. I am sure that it is a lot less than I think. I will be weighing myself tomorrow and I will probably eat over the limit. During the holidays, the calories will eventually creep up. I will have to be careful come Christmas time. That was something that I have learned during this past Thanksgiving.
12/2 I have felt so much better yet I have eaten over the 1800-1900-2000-2100 calorie limit. It is hard for me to go back to business as usual so to speak. I wish I feel that way because I gained three pounds since I went wild with the food that I ate. But I am doing a little better. I do tend to eat mindlessly which I need to learn how to control.
12/3 No entry.
12/4 It is time for me to learn and no longer make excuses. I just am not happy with myself or my eating habits. Today is the day that I will make changes. I need help. I have been binging for a few days actually. It is not just hunger. It isn't greed. It is a cry for help. I have given up on me and I am still stressed out. I thought that my change would not stress me out, but it has. It is time that I start on myself and get to work.
12/5 I am going to up the number of calories for now. I have been consuming with a budget of 2480 calories which will cause no weight gain, but maybe some weight loss. I consumed and binged and consumed and binged. I need to see someone about this. I realize that I need help. The underlying cause is that I feel like giving up. I don't wish to give up. I just don't know what I am doing.
12/6 I give up. Should I just all over? I need not only motivation but confidence. I need help setting the goals that I need to lose weight and quit binging. I give up.
12/7 Lord, help me gain the confidence, the focus, and the motivation and energy needed to lose weight. I hate what I am doing. I know I need help. I am struggling with a binging problem and I cannot stop it on my own. I ask for Your forgiveness for being a glutton for I lack self-control. I need to lose weight and I am stressed out about it. I have been stuck for a while now and I don't know exactly what I need to do. I give You total and complete control over my exercise regimen, and my eating habits. Help me, Lord. Help me.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
12/8 I am a glutton. I have a problem. I gave up. What shall I do in the next day? Next week? I am not sure, but it sure feels lonely.
12/9 I need to log in my food intake. I have lost less than half a pound. I have been gaining weight. I have gotten lazy. It is time for me to make a change.
12/10 I will not give up. I didn't know where to begin. I still don't but I have trouble being consistent and wanting to lose weight without stress in my life. That is why I have binged. I guess it is a form of emotional eating that I need help for. I am a glutton who needed a Savior who could give me the guidance that I so desperately needed. Maybe it was the fact that I felt free yet I was trapped because of the food that I ate. Today I feel pretty calm. I wonder if it is related to something else. I needed help controling my appetite. I also needed help with following doctor's orders. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and PCOS. Oh, and not to mention I have stress that is hard to manage. I need help managing my stress. Life is too short and it has gotten shorter everyday. Time goes by very fast.
12/11 I promise that I won't give up today. I have yet to give up. I do need to drink more water instead of drinking so much coffee however. I love coffee and have loved it ever since I was a little girl. I remember not being allowed to drink coffee during that time. My dad used to drink coffee. It is amazing what one can remember.
12/12 Well, I have not given up. I have done well for myself. I do not feel guilty about what I have consumed today.
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