Re-post from 9/11

Lately what I have doing is keeping busy, except for a few instances.  I want to know about infidelity. However, I don't want to waste my time because of my "curiosity".  It is about knowing fact from fiction.  Maybe writing fan fiction would help me.  Maybe not.  I find fan fiction interesting yet it seems so..I don't know.  But who am I?  I never wrote any fan fiction before.  Even if I did, would this help me with my thoughts?  Would this make my thoughts worse?  Would they help me to differentiate between what is real and what isn't in my head?  That is the problem I have.  I learn to appreciate a lot of things more such as the value of faithfulness and value of communication.  I get that I am not married, but if I were, I would love to be faithful to my future husband and not be shy about telling him the truth about anything.  I have never been married but ironically these thoughts have not scared me from doing a search for a relationship and praying for a husband.  I have thought at times what it will be like to have both a husband and children and also make that a Christian one.  I have had thoughts about this and they have given me comfort.  They have lessened my curiosity and finally it has taught me that I need to be more prayerful and think on things that are true, pure, honest, just, lovely, and of a good report.  If only I had thought about this sooner.