"Chasing Life" and chasing God

"Chasing life" still comes to mind.  I am still tempted to do a search.  It seems harmless enough, but it is not.  It can only produce guilt feelings.  I guess one drink or fix won't hurt, but in the end, it will. That is how I see it.  The best thing to do is to turn the tv off.  I was watching the Grammy Stevie Wonder tribute.  I don't recall what it was called, but it was a good show nevertheless. It was a welcome distraction from the obsessive thoughts and the temptation to perform a compulsion. 

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about my religious thoughts.  I have been having this issue about being saved for nearly 20 years now and even now I still have doubts.  Being born again is certainly no joke and I have been having thoughts.  My thoughts are about whether or not I have been saved or not are scary to say the least.  I pray about it often and even pray to be saved.  Now I wonder if I have been saved through Lordship Salvation or through easy believism, two false doctrines.  I have doubts that God has saved me and that I am one of his.  Do I only have the mental knowledge?Have I ever been truly saved?  These thoughts are quite bothersome and I don't know how to deal with those thoughts.