Scrupolosity

I am glad to be saved.  Jesus Christ saved me.  OCD is a disease that is no joke.  I have had it for most of my life.  I felt scared of having scrupulosity.  It is something that made afraid of going to Hell.  The thoughts were easy to believe.  I was not sure if it was the OCD or if it was something else.

What is happening to me?

What is happening to me?  Right now, I am feeling better but I am still worried that I am not going to Heaven when I die.  I did something I should not have done.  I don't deserve it.  I feel so bad about what I did that I am afraid that it might keep me in Heaven.  I had thoughts about going to Hell. These thoughts are scary in themselves.  I hope to do better.  If I had the faith, then I wouldn't be going through this.

Scrupulous behavior

I am not feeling well.  I have been depressed over what I have done.  I don't deserve it.  I also have scrupulosity which is very hard.  I need help.  I know I need help.  I wonder if it is like obsessive thoughts about infidelity.  It is based on moral issues.  I ask for healing.  I am not sure if I am saved or lost.  My biggest fear is that I have not been saved by faith because I am clouded with so much doubt.  I am sure if it is the enemy or if it is a disease.  I am worried about it and there seems to be no end in sight.

Rough night

I had a rough night.  I wish that I am okay but I also wish that I could separate myself from the crush I had with another guy.  I have thoughts about divorce and losing another person.  I am here to say that though I thought I was feeling better, I had thoughts that were bothersome.  I mulled over them this morning.  It is about time that I fight and just let the thoughts pass.  That is something that I have to remind myself of.

Managing and removing myself from the situation

I am doing fine.  I am here to say that I am doing better.  I need to fight back against my thoughts or else I would be and feel defeated.  It is about time.  I have had those thoughts most of my life.  They come and go.  They range from infidelity of wives to the kind of  person I am.  The thoughts tend to loop and come and go.  I had thoughts also ranging from other people to racism.  They will never go away and I am here to say that it is also best to remove myself from the situation.  Let the thoughts pass.  Fight back.

The reality of having a thought, period

I am okay but I realize that I wake up with those thoughts in my head.  It goes away over time however.  I am not worried.  I am concerned about not being able to stop looking up and do research to find the answers that I so seek.  Maybe it is about time I see the thoughts for what they truly are. What are thoughts anyways?  If I knew the answer to that simple question then maybe just maybe I can beat this.  I want to be in the know because of these thoughts but at the same time ignorance is bliss.  It seems to be the very opposite of what is real.  I think that thoughts can be imaginary but real, or real but imaginary.  Either way, obsessive thoughts are thoughts than can be bullies but with all bullies they intimidate but they are really not that strong.  Fight back.

TV Show "Satisfaction"

"Satisfaction" may be a good show overall but I don't plan to watch it.  I realize now that I will only be drawn to it.  I would like to watch a tv show or a movie but I tend to get nervous watching them. It wasn't always this way.  It was as if I had a normal life when it didn't seem to bother me.  However television and entertainment in general are now becoming obsessive thoughts.  Maybe I have to determine if I am just not interested or if it is bothersome.  It could also be that it is bothersome because I am bored by it.  I just wish that I didn't have those views that are so wrong and are seemingly so strong.